31 December 2003

Ok..lemme jote down my new year resolutions before its here.

1) To be able to walk without any aid! yay!
2) To get attached! yay!
3) Doing something I enjoy yet still earn some decent money! yay!
4) Kanna at least 3 times 4D first prize! yay!
5)Backpack in Europe for at least 1 month and catch Euro 2004 at Portugal if possible! yay!
6) If 5 cannot be attained, I must at least go Pulau Redang or any nearby beach resort! yay!
7) Compose at least 12 songs, if not 200.

Thats all for the time being. I've got 1 year to complete all the things mentioned above. Lets check this post out again on 31st of Dec 2004 and see how many are accomplished! Must at least accomplished 5 of them ok! Yay! Jia You! Woooooohoooooo! Ok off to pak mahjong again...mm see lost form meh...new year's eve pak mahjong....but ok la...still quite song cos I can sioz! Sioz! Yay!!

30 December 2003

Year 2004 is drawing near and its looking good cos euro 2004 is drawing near as well. Actually Copa Americana should be more exciting but then again Singapore dont really telecast tat. 2003 is a sucky year I should say, 2002 was worse though. Anita Mui died this morning....First it was Leslie Cheung and then Xiao Hei and now Anita Mui. Who's next? The death of these celebrities kinda symbolise my era is gonna be over soon. Who will be next? Ah Wee said the next one to go should be Leon Lai cos she hates him hahhahahahaahha..and probably Shu Qi is gonna be real sad over this. Mel told me this morning she's going out for buffet with her pregnant friend who's giving birth around Chinese New Year. People they come they go and they're not given a choice to go or stay or touchdown. Where am I going next?

Last night had dinner with M&M(Matt & Mel). First time I had steam fish at Jalan Malu Malu and it actually taste good(since I'm not really a fan of steam fish). Probably its because the soup base was salty enough. I hope they enjoy the food last night cos personally I dont think its really that fantastic last nite. I can tell Mel was pretty disappointed cos we didnt order Chili Crab heh...or was I too sensitive? Last night was kinda groggy and wasn't ready to get messy eating those crab but I ensure you Mel, if we were to go there again, I'll have chili crab with ya ok? I'll even bring along two loaves of bread to dip dip dip~ Next time k next time hehehe...but please remind me beforehand so I can bring along my hanky to wipe wipe wipe fingers cos it can get really messy, and I mean REAL MESS eating crab. Anyway chili crab only goes with chili crab and nothing else. No time fer other things which needs fork and spoon. Your hands will be your only tools. Lets make it happen, ya?

29 December 2003

Its really a sad sad thing how humans behave. Its even more sad to know how they behave. Don't ask me why or what, its good you stay ignorant and dunno how things function for human beings. Most sux big time. Simply boh no idea, not a single fucking idea at all.
HASH(0x86cad58)
Good Charlotte. You belong in the best band ever!


Which band do you belong in?
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26 December 2003

Ok lemme explain something first before I post this next blog. Tiew is the hokkien word for event. When someone ask you "wu tiew boh?" in hokkien, it simply means "you have anything to do later on?". But Tiew for cantonese means Fuck. So what I'm gonna post below is a scenario when a hokkien ask a cantonese "wu tiew boh?".

[17:22] * Seraph|c` is away, waiting for bitch to come my slutty house.. no tiew after that.. anyone have any tiew!????????? [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
[17:23] anyone> ya
[17:23] anyone> i can tiew
[17:23] Seraph|c`> -.-
[17:23] anyone> i can tiew lay see fart(means fuck your backside, common cantonese scolding)
[17:23] Seraph|c`> ?
[17:23] anyone> u wan me to tiew lay see fart?
[17:23] Seraph|c`> huh?
[17:23] anyone> or you prefer tiew gao lay? (means give dog fuck, another common cantonese scolding)
[17:24] anyone> hahahahhahhahahahahaa
[17:24] anyone> ji funny yi xia
[17:24] Seraph|c`> -.-!!

Ok la...its vulgar but sometimes its pretty interesting how a word in dialect A can mean another thing in dialect B. I believe that the angmos have this kinda joke as well since they have dialect as well. Language is such an interesting subject....
This is really hilarious heheh.....courtesy of Miss Juno the Beano~

25 December 2003

Just got back from chow curly's place awhile ago. Its damn shiok to own a place of your own. You can invite friends over and have small gatherings over food and drinks. Everybody would just gather around and have fun. Its a pity that everybody doesnt know everybody well enough. Most of them are my friends and my friends doesnt know my other friends. Luckily they are not really that bored(I think?). Its gonna be more fun if everybody know each other far better. Anyway as expected, by 1am theres only 4 of us left. But I can't ask for much. Friends who promised to show up did show up. I'm glad they put in the effort to at least come see how I'm doing hehehe...as for those who didnt managed to show up, well, doesnt matter. As long as everybody's doing well, it doesnt matter if we dont meet up that often. Do keep in touch though, some friends are meant to keep fer life. I'm sure you know who are those people....anyway, I'd like to wish everyone reading this a Merry Merry Christmas!

24 December 2003

Christmas eve! But I'm not the least excited over it. Kinda bored thinking of how to spend the day. Its days like this that makes you appreciate the fags more. Well, at least I'm gonna puff like a chimney tonight no matter how its going to turn out to be. Somehow I appreciate small gatherings than big ones these days cos it means you got lesser people to take care of. I dont like seeing people getting bored and sit down one corner wondering why is he/she here for. Oh well, I doubt its gonna be like this tonight since only a few are coming and going at different intervals. Wont expect more than 8 person at anytime. And before Christmas arrive, its gonna be left with just 4. How can that be? Heh...I'll let you know again tomorrow with my prediction.

23 December 2003

[14:47] girLy> lloyd..do ya still see nate?
[14:48] anyone> nate tell me to say i no longer contact him should u ask abt him
[14:48] anyone> hahahahahahahahhahhahhahahhahahahahahaa
[14:48] girLy> .....................
[14:48] girLy> good
[14:49] anyone> joking niah
[14:49] girLy> how abt kelly?
[14:49] girLy> da last time i saw her....she got a flat
[14:49] anyone> kelly ask me to tell you she migrate leow should u ask abt her...
[14:49] anyone> hhahahaahhahahahhahhahahhahhahahhaahahhahahahha
[14:49] girLy> ......................
[14:50] girLy> duh
[14:50] anyone> ok ok...kidding again

I am so bored....fuck siah...
Ten Reasons Why Guitars Are Better Than Girls

1. Guitars doesnt need you to bring em go shopping.

2. Guitars doesnt nag at you for smoking.

3. Guitars doesnt force you to watch HUAN ZHU GE GE with them.

4. Guitars doesnt need you to buy presents fer them fer any reason.

5. Guitars doesnt give you unreasonable demands like "I'm busy studying for my exams at home so you cannot go out with your friends as well".

6. Guitars doesnt cry just because you said you getting another guitar.

7. Guitars doesnt need you to bring them to Japan fer holidays.

8. Guitars doesnt miss their menses and make you worried sick. Guitars doesnt even have menses.

9. Guitars doesnt ditch you fer another. You're the only one doing the ditching.

10. Guitars doesnt have parents for you to please(Ex. Buy ba gua fer them during chinese new year).

And the list goes on and on.....I know wat the girls are gonna say about this. Tell me how easy izzit fer guys to get to that stage? After how many pleading and begging and money spent before they are allow to get to that stage? I'm sure I doesnt need to spend as much as I'm spending for the guitars. Ok, the fact is no girls want me....but who the fuck cares? Hurhurhur....No offence to my 'girl' friends hehehe...just fer luffs ya?
Was feeling darn lethargic this morning when I got up. Wonder why. But you know what? After I see these pics Combo sent me I was feeling like damn song!!! Cant wait to hold this beauty up and gently carass it man...












But I have to wait fer 6 more months at least before i can hug it to sleep...who need gals when you've got the weapon of your choice to hug?

20 December 2003

__________________________________________________
| Topic: Anyone & Pignose - SG came in today. Will take pics on |
| Monday. Looks good sounds good play good. |
| SetBy: bErTbErTz Sat, Dec 20 2003 at 9:30pm |
'--------------------------------------------------------------------------------'
I'm an official SG Special owner....after 10 long years. Whether izzit Gibson's or Epiphone, it doesnt matter, as long as its not Samick cos it sounds like a pahlia brand. Yap, if you see this, kindly explain wats pahlia is to everybody in the comment column. Thanks.

Was suppose to go Jalan Besar S11 for that usual soccer gathering every Saturday or Sunday. Didnt make it though because it wouldn't stop raining ever since 1430hrs this afternoon. Well, it did get smaller but I guess we miss our chance when theres one due to many many unforseen circumstances. I dunno what was I waiting. Maybe waiting for Christmas to come but hey! Wadaya know? Christmas is just 5 days away. It doesnt mean much to except that I can get the fuck out of the house. Why I hate staying indoor so much? Maybe its because I cant get to fag but most importantly, its because I have this sickness call CLAUSTROPHOBIA and its not just a simple one. This claustrophobic shit only applies to this little house of mine sitting in Yishun. Everyone boss around as if they're Sauron. Actually I'm quite ok if i'm being left alone doing my own things at home. I hate being surrounded with watchful eyes. Imagine playing your computer with someone behind ya. Cant breathe argh cant breathe...I need to be alone. Alone in my own little space. Alone without any disturbance any movements. I can shut myself out of this world just as long I've got my headphone on but I cant stop seeing unwanted scene though I can shut my eyes and just go to bed. But I'm not sleepy. You know when you're lying down and not sleeping, your mind become so active, you tends to think of things. Alot of weird thinking comes into your mind. You ponder over things that doesnt have a solution. Then you feel so restless. You wanna get up and scream but you wonder why you wanna do that for. Then you just dunno what you wanna do. You wanna get up but you cant. Day after day, week after week, the same old shit is repeating. Is this a dream or is this a reality? This is the question thats constantly popping up in your mind. No solution. Nothing can be done. You just continue living life as it is. You're in the Matrix and you cant escape from it cos you're trapped inside it. No Neo or Morpheus to save you. You're doom.

19 December 2003

But its still a boring friday regardless what am I doing next week...fuck...dohz...
Its weekend yay!!! Time to get nostalgic!!!! I'm going for a studio recording next week so I better look after my voice fer the time being. I shall try to smoke everyday in another word hehehe....

18 December 2003

Ok! So after I got my SG, what am I gonna get next? YES!!!! ITS A FLYING V!!! HOW CAN THE COLLECTION BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A FLYING V!!! Ok but this one might have to take sometime. Yap was suggesting me to aim for a gibson one since epiphone is selling theirs at almost the same price..so heres how a flying v looks like...



Nice boh!! Nice right!! Ok la...actually I dont really like the knob though the colour is damn swee!! Lemme show you the original one I wanted to get...and here it is!!! the knobs abit eh eh too...wonder why the knobs all eh eh one...



and here's another one....the pics lousy though...



Damnit...this guitar craving craze better not go too far...I'm not a rich man yet..not till I get those compensation dough then I'm gonna splash it all on those fucking guitars man!!!! And oh ya...not forgetting the VVSD 1 grade D rock or watsoever u call it...

16 December 2003

I managed to find a brilliant pic to show you guys me and yap's latest acquisitition. I hope I can link it here...its currently on its way to Bert'z place leow hehehe..



Brilliant weapon of choice isnt it?

15 December 2003

Its monday and I'm down with the flu bug. I sneeze non stop and yet my nose's blocked. Its pretty hard to be talking and breathing using your mouth. Occasionally cough cough abit. My auntie came with her 2 daughters and 4 grandkids and they were running around the place non stop. Goodness...I can hardly have peace. I had to hide in the room to avoid all those screaming and shouting and laughing and scolding and crying and any noises you can imagine. Then I recall what Elaine told me about she wanting to have 11 kids. Imagine having 1 kid every year...If they all scream together by the time the 11th kid come out, first thing for sure is I'm gonna go mad. Next the wall starts to crumble and fall(much like the scene in "Turn Left Turn Right"), then windows shatters, the fishes kanna vibrate out of the fish tank, birds starts to buang against the wall, etc etc. 11!!!! Can name them according to Real Madrid first eleven, starting with Fernando Hierro since he's gonna be the eldest and ends with Portillo. But provided all 11 are boys. If inbetween there are gals then we can name them after my favourite model's name like Evangelista or Milla Jovovich~ Woooooohoooooo...then we gonna have a house of celebrities hahahaha....ok...just talking cock with her obviously. 11 kids....Matt stick out his tongue when he heard Elaine saying that hahahaha....its really unimaginable. But if all the kids are well behave then its gonna be real fun....so it all boils down to how you educate them. Kids are suppose to be playful but still, you need to impart them with the correct thinking when they're still young. Like how my folks brought us up. I got whacked all the time when I was young, even until sec 1 i still kanna whacked like hell. I still believe kids need to be whacked occasionally but not those harsh whacking. Talking and reasoning doesnt work for kids below 10 I think. Anyway its too early to be talking about kids now....still too early...

12 December 2003

Sometimes I'm really pissed at myself. I know I hate to answer queries and still I choose to answer em. Fuck...but sometimes I do enjoy answering questions. I realise its how people pose their questions that pissed me off. Another thing is their mentality. They dont wanna give you that "I dunno a fucking thing about this at all" impression so they try their best to cover it up with lotsa irrelevant assumptions. Bloodyfuckers. If you're trying to seek assurance from something you assumed then you fucking pose the question as your assumption and not as you're seeking for an answer. Then when someone give you a different answer you fucking challenge it with your own assumptions. That is oh so fucking fucking fucking fucking irritating. I'm so fucking tempted to paste the fucking dialogue here but I think I better not. Why not? What's there to be afraid of? No, its not that I'm afraid. Its because I dont wanna read it again to make myself pissed again. Fuck you NUS students you think you so big fuck and know everything....if you're so smart you dont have to come seek assurance from me in the first place you fucking piece of shit....mmm seee du lan meh~ puiz!!

09 December 2003

The Most Popular Question This Time Of The Year

xuanz> wats ur plans for this festive season?

The Most Popular Way Lloyd Answer The Most Popular Question This Time Of The Year

anyone> my plan is to stay indoor and avoid all the motherfucking crowds who's trying their fucking luck just to piss the fuck outta me by staring non fucking stop at me and run around like some fucking mad chimpanzee who escaped from the Zoofuckinglogical Garfuckingden.

The Good Old Most Popular Reply When They See The Most Popular Way Lloyd Answer The Most Popular Question This Time Of The Year

xuanz> i see

The Good Old Most Popular Lloyd's Reply Upon Seeing The Good Old Most Popular Reply When They See The Most Popular Way Lloyd Answer The Most Popular Question This Time Of The Year

anyone> yeah balls

-------------The Fucking End Once Again-------------
Been wanting to get this baby 9 years ago when I first step into BMC in bedok for jamming session. It was a cheap Samick one I look at then. Always look at it together with my drummer Merson and discuss about when we're gonna own one original Gibson's. We then went do to bras besah's sweelee and look at it and the price tag made both our jaws dropped. $2,500!! Ok, we can slowly dream on and both of us said wait until we "ka dua han" then we buy hahaha..ok, until today I still cant afford it. Actually not really cannot afford buy just cant bear to spend that kinda money on my hobby. Happen to come across this cheaper version online thru yap and bertz and its so affordable! $150 usd! Can you believe that? Its an Epiphone SG Special~ YEah~ Of cos the sound wont be as good as the father which is gibson but ok la, will do la. Anyway I've always like the brand epiphone and the body of an SG. Its a combination of both at usd $150 so why not? Even if it sounds pahlia i oso dont care cos its been a dream to hold one. So now I'm having a dream coming true as well~ hahaha....lemme show you how it looks like....



Swee boh? Fierce boh? Solid boh!!!! Its an Epiphone SG Special!! Look at those horns!!! Look at that color!!! MMM SEE SWEE MEH!!!!!

So I'll be holding this baby to jam next time..hopefully hehe....

08 December 2003

Hypocrite hypocrite, we are all hypocrites! I'm trying not to be one but it seems so hard. Why must we put on a fake front once awhile? Why cant we just say the things that's ringing in our heads? Why cant we just ask those people to fuck off and stop bothering about them? Why man why? Why must keh keh cho lang? Is socialogy such a difficult subject to learn? Are you a successful person in life? If you are, most probably you're a successful hypocrite as well. Is hypocrisy really that bad? Are you so sure you're not one of hypocrisy's disciple? You never put on a fake front once? Not even once? Dont lie you fucking guy. Everybody is fake, its just how often they fake. You you you you you and you are all fakers. No one escapes from that dreadful hypocrisy spell. Not a single one. Like it or not, you are a hypocrite.
Toking about me eh? Really? I'm really like that?

SAGITTARIUS MAN

A man who loves social life and curious about every new progress, new development to make sure he is in the era and always have all up date information. He likes to know what is the latest trend of fashion and make sure he is not out of style. You can easily spot him at the grand opening of new pub, new restaurant for he loves to participate in social activity.There is a few Sagittarius who is a private person as well, but you could see that he will be ahead of his friends. He will knows what is the best seller book, what are the top 10 hot hit of the week. The hottest movies
showing now, he must have already seen it.

He hates routine, It makes him bored. He likes to get to his goals and succeeding in doing so is his true reward. Money making is O.K. but it is not his true joy, for he can easily spent them in a short while. They say if you want the truth, go and ask Sagittarius. They are right, you can ask him and he will tell you all the truth and very straight forward. Even he may speak bluntly, his friends loves him. If you have problems, all your friends may feel sorry for you, but Sagittarius will be the one who will give you a helping hand first and even expect no return favor. That's why he is a real charmer even sometimes big mouth.

When he is mad , he can be quite fierce but quickly dissolve and easily forgotten. He is not a person who will take a revenge, so if he say he going to burn down your house, you can relax. He likes compliments and sweet words, so you can manipulate him easily. If he knows you are not sincere,you will totally become meaningless to him.

Some Sagittarius are gifted musician, or singer. He is a happy soul, has a good humor and has lots of jokes. He loves freedom, lively and very energetic. If he is working, he will take his job seriously. He likes to travel, likes to see new exciting places. Going out or traveling make him happy.

Sagittarius man is like a free bird. He lives as if everyday is Sunday. He will hardly be in a bad mood, but if he is in a bad mood, you will better leave his sight. If you want to talk to him in such mood, try to avoid issue of commenting his life. He flirts like other man, but he has a built in brake, so he will come back to you by himself. If he disappear for a few days, not to worry for he is only recharging his battery to be that same lively person again, then he will be back.

He has allergies to Pretty woman, so in love with many woman for him would be normal. Setting dating schedule is his games and it's fun for him, and this will keep him from being bored. He hates obligations, so the word "marriage" would suffocated him. If you allow him to have freedom, he will not go anywhere.

He falls in love as easy as he catches cold, especially if she is cute,funny and she has a strong personality. No one can tell how long he will be in love each time. If you want to really hold Sagittarius man, act like you are in an adventure movie. At all time, you should make yourself lively,tells him some jokes, always be cute so that it will ease up his allergy to other pretty woman a bit.

07 December 2003

I'm bored once again so I try doing some artwork. Actually its editing some other people's artwork to humour myself hehehehe.....calling myself Lloydoroquai really make me laugh hahahhaha....fucking boliao can!!!

Yeah baby!!! I'm the king of PUNK~




And me catching ah yap's leg during his 21st birthday...check out my hair! Its so fucking soft straight shiny and smell so nice! Cool! But that pic was taken 9 years back....fuck..how time fly......




I wish that I could turn back the time~

06 December 2003

Another boring day awaits....
I lost $2 last night playing 3 person mahjong. Each of us have to stack at least 24 stack....its so fucking tiring. Sometime you just wish the table is bigger. But then again, mahjong is really fun lor....with all those funny things said and done on the table, you can just laugh your troubles away hehee....

How many in this world can clearly tell you what he/she wants? I guess not many. Even if some can tell you what they want, but when the time come, they will have second thoughts again. Everyone is having such a messy mind. No one can be sure of what they want, and that includes me.....

05 December 2003

FUCK!!!!!! LAST MIN KIO TIO GU LANZ!!! GOT KANGTAO LEOW!!! GO CHOW CURLY'S PLACE PAK MAHJONG!!!! SONG BOH!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!!!! MMMMM SEEEEEE SONGGGGGGGGG MEHHHHHHHH!!!!!! FUCKING HELL MMMM SEEEE HENGGGG MEHHHHHHH!!!!!!! COVICE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
2030hrs



Ok....I've done fucking the fucking computer. So wat I do now?

Nothing. You just continue fucking it.

Brilliant.

You're most welcome.

You suck.

You suck too.


----------------------------------------------------------------
2100hrs



What the fuck are you doing at home?

Nowhere to go so stay at home lor.

Come down zouk lar.

I beg your pardon?

Come zouk.

Why not we go Tuas fishing now?

For what? I don't wanna fish.

So what makes you think I can dance now?

Ok. Then what you doing at home?

Nothing lar. No one to go out with.

No?

If have you think I'll still be at home?

Oh ok.

So whats the purpose of calling?

Nothing la...just see what you doing.

Oh ok. Doing nothing. Having dinner.

Ok. Talk to you again.

Sorry am feeling kinda fucked now.

No worries.

Have fun.

Alright...will do.


----------------------------------------------------------------
2130hrs



[21:29] |uca> f me.
[21:29] |uca> issit only 21:32
[21:29] skeet> yes
[21:30] skeet> tot u going out wif ur frens
[21:30] * |uca taps keyboard impatiently
[21:30] skeet> do u haf any?
[21:30] |uca> told you.. i only told you that to piss you off unsuccessfully
[21:30] |uca> apparently not
[21:30] skeet> or are they "imaginary"
[21:30] |uca> hey
[21:30] |uca> now they're mocking them
[21:30] * |uca pats space next to hyer
[21:30] |uca> he didn't mean it
[21:30] |uca> i have no friends
[21:30] |uca> ah well
[21:31] * |uca shrugs and smiles wryly
[21:31] anyone> i have lotsa friends
[21:31] anyone> but they all not free for me
[21:31] skeet> aww
[21:31] anyone> sigh...
[21:31] |uca> i'm free
[21:32] |uca> but i'm too lazy to cycle over
[21:32] anyone> i am having so much self pity sianz
[21:32] anyone> ok lemme continue blogging
[21:32] |uca> yea


----------------------------------------------------------------
2230hrs



Friday nites are boring nites. Nothing on tv after 10:30pm

Nothing on my tv throughout the day.

How can that be? Because you never on?

Right.

On then have leow lor.

Ya. Thats the whole point. I dont wanna on it.

Then why you buy tv for?

I'm not the one paying.

Oh. Ok.

Right.

You're bored now arent you?

Wadaya think?

Ya.

Right.


----------------------------------------------------------------
2245hrs



So have you found something interesting to do that will keep you occupied so you wont feel bored?

Ya.

Oh really! What is it?

Breathing and blinking.

Oh.....

Occasionally I fart, but very seldom.

Ok.


----------------------------------------------------------------


Ever feel lonely even when you're in a crowd?


---------------------The Fucking End------------------------
So what fuck am I gonna do today?

Its fucking friday! And what you gonna do on a fucking friday?

Fucking of course!

With who?

With the fucking computer if you'd ask me.

How do you fuck a fucking computer?

You just screw everyfuckthing you've got on your fucking computer.

Way to go.

04 December 2003

I'm really bored that I cant stop posting. These are the pics for the bbq on the 24th of October, 2003. If you're uncomfortable seeing your pictures appear in my blog, please leave a comment behind saying you want your pictures removed. Name of participants will not be disclosed under any circumstances so forget about asking me who the fuck is who. I wont entertain any queries.






















And then...there's this mad fucker..thinking he's Jimi Hendrix for a moment, and then man in agony the next....fucker....










Oh ya...and there was the chicken...





Then it was dream come true for ah yap...








And another dream coming true....





And with that...I end my boredom...for the time being....fuck man.....

Quiz Me
lloyd was
a Happy Priest
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

Long time never post bloopers leow...so here's one...

[01:04] anyone> tat time got pple tell me holland cannot beat scotland 2 balls one la
[01:04] anyone> give 2 ball sure cannot one la
[01:05] anyone> end up i give him 5 balls
[01:05] anyone> he song song jiak
[01:05] anyone> tot woon woon char bee hoon
[01:05] anyone> end up holland won 6-0
[01:05] anyone> siao
[01:05] anyone> if bee hoon so easy to char
[01:05] anyone> everybody become chef leow
[01:05] anyone> fuck i toking to myself
[01:06] anyone> simi lanjiao~
[01:06] CD> no lah
[01:06] CD> i listening
[01:06] anyone> u dont k k
[01:06] anyone> u always k k
[01:06] *** Quits: Michelin (Quit ())
[01:06] CD> no lah
[01:06] anyone> pian those xiao mei mei
[01:06] CD> k k for wat
[01:06] CD> piang eh
[01:06] CD> bo lah
[01:06] anyone> always k k play teacher and student with them
[01:06] anyone> say they naughty
[01:06] CD> wah ?~``
[01:06] anyone> then u spank their backside
[01:06] CD> sio hai sio hai
[01:06] CD> bo bo bo
[01:07] CD> i use cane not consider as sexual abuse
[01:07] CD> next time instead of cane i use hand
[01:07] CD> swee~~~
[01:08] anyone> use ur dick
[01:08] CD> wahahahaha
[01:08] CD> cannot lah
[01:09] CD> kana rotan
[01:09] anyone> fuck u
[01:09] anyone> not ask u insert
[01:09] anyone> rotan ki lanz
[01:09] CD> then how
[01:09] anyone> use it to slap la
[01:09] anyone> urs too short to slap ar?
[01:09] anyone> next time i show u
[01:09] ^HP^SiAn^> haha
[01:09] anyone> i use mine to slap ur face
[01:09] CD> knn..
[01:10] ^HP^SiAn^> lolx

03 December 2003

I hate to admit that I'm emotional at times...was looking thru my imagestation when I came across this series of pictures...and then I was listening to some sad tunes over my winamp...cannot explain why but suddenly I feel I'm so lonely....I do miss Fifi alot....I wonder if she's lonely too?







Fifi....are you doing well? She's so pretty....so so pretty....
Sometimes, its better to admire someone from afar. If you try to know that person you admire better, you might end up being disappointed for what you admired are just be illusions you created for yourself. Admiration doesnt always have to grow deeper when you know that person better. Sometimes, instead of admiring that person more, you grew out of the admiration. In the end you realise the person you should be admiring is yourself....but please do not overdo it or you might turn into one self-centered narcissist.

I wanted to abstract something from what my friend wrote in Singapore20plus forum and paste it here but after some consideration i decided not to. Its an article about Relationship and its well written. You might think why I wouldn't share with you if I think its well written? The reason is because I think Relationship is a personal issue. Everyone will experience different shit and everyone has a different mindset. This article is trying to generalise everyone into one catogery. Then why is it well written? Because if everyone were to behave like what the article wrote, it would be a less heartbroken, sad, and disappointed world we're gonna live in. Everyone would be happier once they recognise the fact of "you like me" doesnt EQUAL to "I must like you" back. Making someone like you for what you do not possess but acting as if you have them is stupid. By trying hard to sell yourself infront of that person you like is stupid as well. You're you and just be yourself. I use to praise myself alot infront of friends but its all just to make people laugh. Sometimes I would blurt out things like "Hey, I think I can sing really well" and "I think I'm funny" during a conversation. I'm not trying to sell myself but I wonder why I say that all of a sudden. Then someone say I'm howlian but I dont think so since my intention is not to sell myself. I think I'm merely assuring myself with the things people say about me. Like someone say, "Hey thats a nice pair of jeans".....the next time you wear that pair of jeans you will say to yourself, "Hey, this is really a nice pair of jeans". Its like you're agreeing with people the things they say about you or your things. But if you wanna put up a show and behave like someone that person like, go on, no one is stopping you. Afterall, its all about being happy. If you think you're happy doing that then go ahead, be it what's waiting behind. You only live once and you're not coming back...be contended with the things you do, be happy with the things you do, feel shiok doing the things you are doing, but be responsible.

I think I'm fucking loh soh when I type. Fucking loh soh....fucking stupid sentences.
Oh..I'm glad I still remember wat I wanna write about after 2 nights. Yeah....Sunday night I had this really nice but weird dreams. I dreamt that I became young again! Everything turn younger except my brain. So I was in primary one but my mind's 29 years old. All those things the teacher teaching seems so chicken feet to me. Fuck...its so fucking simple to me since my mind's 29 years old. Anyway those primary school years went in a flash and I graduated with the most full marks one could ever get from primary school. Then I went into the same dumb secondary school I was in cos its near my place(funny why I didnt choose to go into a more prestigious secondary school) and everything was still quite simple to me other than literature, geography and history. Oh since I was given the chance to go thru all the shit I've been thru, I try to avoid all those mistakes I made. I watch my weight, try not to stare at tv too long(anyway I wasnt interested with tv even in dreams), choosing the right course after my O level(which I cant rem wat it was), blah blah blah. Everything was in a flash again and I was at the point of setting up the business. So in the dream I started telling my friend I'm no longer interested with starting the business and they were baffled. Then I remember I was at SSDC getting ready to hop on a motorcycle to start my practical lesson. All of a sudden I just got off and took off my helmet and walk away hahaha....the instructor look baffled too but I couldnt give a damn....I just walk to the canteen, order something to eat and drink and puff away. Next thing I know I heard my phone ringing and I was looking for it and thats when I woke up from my dream. It was Colin smsing me asking me for lunch. I wonder if everyone dream of this thing on their birthday. Maybe I've got lotsa regrets thats why I'm having this kinda dreams. Things might be better if you can do a rollback in life knowing what's gonna happen if you choose this path. But then again, it might not be better if you've taken the other path. Well, too many ifs in life is not getting you anywhere. Whatever's done is already done. Whatever choices you made have already given you results. What if this what if that is not gonna lead you to anywhere. Look forward and stop regretting what you have or have not done. What matters most is what you're gonna do now. Set your target, consider the various factors, excute in a swift and never look back....thats how I'm going to lead my life from now on.

01 December 2003

Alright...its 1st of December...my birthday just passed and its still the same from the previous few. Had dinner and talk lotsa cock with friends. The only thing different is this year I've got quite a number of presents hehe....turned 29 and still recieving presents on birthday seems a little gay ahhahaha...ok ok...its a nice gesture from friends to give present though it makes me feel gay. Appreciate all those thoughtful gift. There's this one particular gift from Nate that almost land me in hot soup hahaha....luckily I was warned about it so didnt unwrap it infront of my mom....else I'm gonna have a hard time explaining it hahaha...Great! Gonna slowly enjoy that stick one of these days when I go curly's place to pak mahjong hahahaha....over a glass of wine sounds great too~ Anyway thanks to all those who remember this day....no more gifts once I turn thirty ya? Well wishes would be enough....I'm just as happy as long as I'm not forgotten...