27 October 2009

Hello all you fuggers!! Paiseh hor, limpeh don't have anything to show in this entry but just to tell you fuggers to stay tune cos limpeh is heading to Saigon tomorrow and won't be back till Sunday. Limpeh go there see see got what interesting thing to take and post ok? Wah...suddenly limpeh feel like Anthony Bourdain...dunno will meet any pretty Miss Saigon or not hor?

16 October 2009

Hello little fuggers, big fuggers and martha fuggers!! Its nice to see all you fuggers start visiting limpeh's blog again. Its been a fine month and it passed by so quickly and without limpeh knowing, its gonna be payday soon!! Really leh...pay come so fast and go so fast till limpeh also dunno where limpeh kai those lwee..cheebye...


Why time passed so quickly leh? Maybe because limpeh is always busy with limpeh also dunno what. Just last week, limpeh was mobilised to Bangkok with a 2 days notice to deliver some shit. It was like Amazing Race you know? Limpeh had to rush to Changi cargo terminal to pick up goods at 8.30am and then rush to catch a plane to Bangkok at 9.30am and deliver the goods to customer at Bangkok's outskirt by 1.30pm. FWAH LAN EH!!! Can die man...but luckily managed to complete the task given so everyone chio bee bee...


After that things were rather relax cos limpeh's mission was just there to deliver goods. My colleague Yack from thailand then brought us to walk around and eat duck bee hoon soup. We ate duck bee hoon soup in the morning and we ate duck bee hoon soup in the night but not in the afternoon cos afternoon at the CNG station that has nothing but Sun, Sun and more Sunlight. Anyway Yack only knows where got nice duck bee hoon soup and dunno anything else but duck bee hoon soup. Luckily he knows where got Mcdonald's so we managed to get Samurai Pork Burger...at least something different from duck bee hoon soup cos limpeh is not really a duck person...fuck person maybe but definitely not duck person.



Mah Boon Krong...those who always go Thailand find ah kuas should be familiar with this place...this place dwaft Mustafa Center man...fucking fucking huge with loads of things to see and buy..



This is limpeh's colleague name Yack. Actually his name is Wisanu Jompakdee but because he talks a lot, we call him Yackadoodle so short form just call him Yack. He is a good country boy who knows nothing but bring his guests to eat duck bee hoon soup and showing off his THB1,500 Rolax Substandardmariner.



Limpeh is sure you know who this fucker is. He is Alvin, limpeh's loyal apprentice who eats almost everything and anything. He too, bought the THB1,500 Rolax Substandardmariner with Yack and showing off in the picture. He is damn Giam Siap and has been considering to buy a Mont Blanc pen or not for more than 15 months already but still cant bear to part with that money. Don't think he is poor ok, this fucker's 3 months commission is more than a fresh grad's half year pay. Now tell me, is he a Giam Gu? Of cos, dead sea also not as giam as him...



This is the duck bee hoon soup that limpeh ate day and night during the trip. Knnz..limpeh one year's duck quota was consumed in 2 days when limpeh stayed in Bangkok for 2 days.



This is Chicken's Lumpa. Kidding lar... But limpeh really dunno what is this, maybe some kind of meat balls made from chicken's lumpa. Then you wonder, whats the point??!?!



This was taken off a bridge at limpeh-also-dunno-where. The bridge got running light one leh...quite swee but limpeh dunno whats the point also...liao dian..waste electricity...the Thais really gan bo liao at times...



This is the street leading to a place where girls would spread their legs for $$. Those thai prostitutes are fucking young ok! Average age should be 15 or 16 niah...so ke lian..but some are damn swee while others look like airpork. By the way, you see the emblem infront of the car? Limpeh travel around in Merc while in Thailand ok!! Knnz...limpeh's industry is really ho tan..



And so...limpeh ended limpeh's short trip to Bangkok and came back with a luggage full of snacks!!! Wooohooo, the only comfort from this trip...



Eh? How come got one cat in the suitcase? Cheebye...later limpeh kanna charge for bringing in illegal immigrant...


And that ends limpeh's latest adventure! So tell limpeh, what is the moral of this entry? As long as you've never seen big snake pang jio, dont tell people you are damn kiang ok? Limpeh? Limpeh see big snake pang jio grow up one...so do you think limpeh kiang or not?


Anyway,ah diang told limpeh that she wants to book a limo for our wedding that costs $800!! She siao or wat? Book one day for $800..limpeh can buy 2 Panerai strap with that already ok!! Kia mm zai lor...actually limpeh oledi got good and free kangtao for her but she don't want...knnz...limpeh's boss wanna lend limpeh his SLK or VW Phaeton she mai, say too common le..limpeh was thinking ok what..for one day only, must really dua kang until so dua meh?? Then another colleague told limpeh she can lend me her Lexus SC430 if limpeh want...dunno ah diang will like this one or not hor?



Swee bo this car? No, this is not limpeh's new car but limpeh's colleague's car which limpeh is thinking of borrowing it for limpeh's ROM. Hopefully by then limpeh's colleague haven't sell away..



4.3 litre engine leh...one year's road tax 5k+...you can tahan or not??

06 October 2009

Hello everybirdie! Limpeh log on to tell story again but limpeh is not gonna talk about that chow ah lian anymore. Limpeh gonna show you how chum limpeh is trying to be the best guy in town, probably in Batam as well.


Ah diang loves to take part in a lot of activities because she is like to lao gua. Whenever she feels like lao gua, limpeh will lao a lot more gua than her. Just 2 months ago, she took part in the simi pinky pinky run at Marina bay which limpeh had to wake up damn early to bring her there to run. What difference does it makes with running around your estate man!! Why must wake up cheat za buay za and go all the way there to run with everyone? Is it because we are social animals so whatever fuck thing we do we love to do it together? Is this like what William Shake-a-spear said "Birds of a feather, flock fucking together"? Is is true we love cluster fucking together? Have you ever gone through the days where PTI ask you to SPREAD!!!! SQUEEZE!!! SPREAD!!!! SQUEEZE!!!! all day long?!?! Have you ever gone through days where you had to squeeze with bangaladeshi lads at Countdown Singapore? WHY!!! Why we like to squeeze so much?!?! Why can't we just run at our estate at our own leisure??!??!


And so, limpeh woke up fucking cheebye eh early on Saturday morning. Even more early than weekdays.



Limpeh's carpark. There is a weird feeling of Deja Vu cos it feels the same when you just parked your car and went upstairs at 1am. 5 hours later you find yourself walking back to your car. Then you think, did limpeh went up to sleep at all??????????



Time check. It is indeed 6.25am. Limpeh did sleep for 4-5 hours. Or did limpeh??



CTE tunnel. Don't you fuggers who are working in town wish that the tunnel looks like this everyday to work? Dream on you fuggers, dream on.



Ah diang is very serious about her run ok...doing her stretching ok...don't think she cannot run..limpeh think she can better than most of your fuggers...she clear her 2.4km in under 15 mins ok!



See how chum limpeh look. Knnz...at night sell backside also not as chum. At least you get to lie down when people fuck your backside...



金鸡独立you know what or not?



Ready? Ready? Ready already or not????!!!!?!!!!?!??!



Ok, fuck off and hurry up come back...limpeh wanna go home sleep....



Its coffee time!! Limpeh's favourite Ice Grande Latte yummy!!



Shack right!! See, ask you to sleep longer you don't want...drag limpeh all the way here to East Coast and run with 1,000+ girls...pui...can see cannot eat :X



All this for a can of 嘉嘉凉茶 and a bottle of Ice Mountain..but at least better than those on the stage...they won 2 extra large air tickets to run in Terengganu wahhaahhaaha...all the way there just to run with other minahs hahahhahaha....crazy muthafuckas..


Ah diang said she joined all these runs la walk la crawl la is because she wants to challenge herself. That is having a very positive mindset and limpeh applaud her for thinking that way but but but....dont challenge limpeh also mah...waking up 6am on a Saturday you know!! If not because limpeh 有练过,limpeh already become 咸煎饼 leow....


So tell limpeh, what is the moral of the story? If you are working in town, find a job that starts work at 6.30am...limpeh confirm you reach your workplace on time everyday and save a lot of ERP charges....

02 October 2009

Hello everybirdie again!! Guess who is back, back again~ Limpeh's back, to chow gan again~ What is it this time? What else but Ris Low, the Ex Miss Singapore who was caught swiping other people's credit card.


Limpeh was actually quite reluctant to talk about her cos limpeh thinks she doesnt deserve that much attention. but when limpeh heard her interview on 938 live on radio one morning on my way to work, limpeh's fire suddenly soar at least eighteen storeys high. Kan nin nan, shes talk like one chow ah lian you know? How the fuck did such chow ah lian become Miss Singapore?!?! Don't tell me Singapore girls see liao liao (死光光), must send this kind of kar siao to sia suay us to the whole world? Limpeh think the judges oso got a part to play lar...really wanna ask them what is their judging criteria...izzit got neh got kar chng can already.


The thing here is, we are not saints and will definitely make mistakes in our lives. Don't tell limpeh you never steal eraser or mechanical pencil at Oriental Emporium or Yaohan before!! Of cos, we will not admit we did that before if no one ask or no one knows. But when someone pitchiak your lobang and you calmly say it is no big deal and it is not a crime because never go into jail then it is damn stupid already. It is fucking stupid la...kanna caught already must use this opportunity and show people you are trying to repent and get on with life and hope everybody can support you and give you a chance to deal with that sick and rotten part in the brain. Like that most likely people will pang chan...If someone do wrong things limpeh can still forgive but if you do wrong things and behave like chow ah lian plus continuously showing your stupidity then limpeh cannot forgive leow. But then again, all chow ah lians are stupid so limpeh guess she is just being herself. But limpeh is still fucking buay song so limpeh have to give her a piece of my mind....



Paiseh hor to the 2 ah nia beside...limpeh helped cover your eyes leow so you don't have to sia suay with the chow ah lian in the center...


and to the judges, free please go Chinatown and ask those ah po sitting by the roadside to orr your hee sai and wipe away your bark sai cos you cheebyes are the reason why this became international news. It is because of your lousy judging skills that chow ah lian became Miss Singapore. If chow ah lian can become Miss Singapore, then my friend below can become Manhunt Singapore leow!!


01 October 2009

Hello everybirdie!! Its limpeh again and today limpeh feel like chow gan Singaporean again.


Mr Curry Png and Miss Number Two (Number One is Zoe Tay) got married 2 days ago and created quite a big hoohaa. Limpeh guess its like that one lar...people angmo gao got what we cheena biang also do what. And so, both of them got together a whole bunch of brothers and sisters and reporters and the right and the wrong people just to act as if they are damn popular. Sure, limpeh can do that too when limpeh get married, just have to go Tanjong Pagar earlier to pick up as many bangladeshi lads as possible to make up the numbers...


The event was covered on local tabloid papers like 联合晚报 and 新民日报 for 3 consecutive days with nothing but how much the couple spent and who attended and how much angbao was given to get Miss Number Two and how Mr Curry Png wants to take care of the Miss Number Two torso (下半身). Limpeh just don't understand why the locals like to comment on what they should and should not do or what Huang Na's mother should and should not do with the money ah der (猪) and ah gao (狗) donated. What the fuck has it gotta do with you? Mind your own fucking business and take care of your son's and daughter's wedding will do and recognise the fact that DOESN'T MEAN YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING MONEY TO THROW A MEGA BANQUET/PARTY THEN THOSE WHO HAVE THE ABILITY CANNOT DO IT, YOU CHEEBYES!!!!!!




So get a grip and lets wish Mr Curry Png and Miss Number Two to live happily ever after together and have many many kids in near future. Lets hope Mr Curry Png also got sperms with tail as strong as the great white shark like limpeh's good friend who just celebrated his twin sons one month shower party 2 weeks ago. Shiok leh! One shot strikes 2 eggs...no wonder his laopeh call him ah Zoon...really damn zoon...


So the last last weekend was a crazy weekend cos limpeh attended 2 shower parties and a one year old party. All in all, limpeh attended 4 parties in September! Guess its like that...just 4 - 5 years ago, it was non-stop weddings and 4 - 5 years later, it is non-stop shower parties zzz...and ah diang was damn happy to give business to her friend who make diaper cakes. Erm, using unused diapers and wrap it and wala, it turns into a cake. Or rather, it looks like one. Dont be mistaken as giving the thing inside the diaper after Rui Yang wears it for a day.



This was for the twins, Calum and Calius, limpeh think thats how you spell their name...pronounce it as Kay-Lerm and Kay-Lers..heng not triplets else the 3rd one will call Cachelle...which limpeh is very sure that you know how to pronounce it...



This was for Sherrie!! Limpeh had a picture of her in my arms but its in ah diang's handphone so you dont have a chance to see how cute that little girl is hurhur...too bad!



This is for Evienne, think thats how you spell her name. Paiseh hor if limpeh spell wrongly cos limpeh very bad with english names. When ah diang commented Ah Chua looks like Justice Bao, limpeh still have to take awhile to think who the fuck is Justice Bao.



This is limpeh's wrist shot! Swee bo!!! the house behind me is Janice's house..swee boh!!



This was ah diang's wrist shot 1 week ago..



This is ah diang's wrist shot last night!! Now ah diang has become Claudia Schiffer leow!! Mai siao siao!!


And so, that marks the end of 2009 3rd quater. Fucking fast isn't it? 3 more months to go and gonna take bonus already wooohooo!!!!! So the moral of this post is, time and tide waits for no man so those wanna chua bor one faster chua, those wanna seeee kia one faster seeee and those wanna comment on people's dai ji one all go hor gao gan...