Fuck man...what is going on in my life?


Ok, the problem is, nothing is going on in my life now. Fucked up weekends, fucked up weekdays and fucked up everyday. Why? Cos I've got nothing SPECIAL going on.


Eh...come on leh...inject some excitement in my life leh. I'm sick of doing the same thing over and over and over again.


Monday to Friday, coffee, dinner, pool, more coffee, more dinner and more pool.


Can have something different like go skydiving?


Saturday to Sunday, overnight mahjong, lose money, sleep till 5-6pm, dinner and watch 25 grownups chasing 1 freaking ball.


Can have something different like go bungee diving?


Ranting again. Always rant and rant and rant. Wah lanz...rants oso repeating. Mala wu ya...really so jialat meh? Can have something new?


Chinese New Year is coming zzz...frankly speaking I dont like Chinese New Year. Chinese New Year = lotsa tidying, wiping, throwing, cleaning, arguing to be done.


Duhz...and Spurs went 1 nil down to Liverpool. Fucked up Sunday. Really fucked up.


Oh ya, not everything is as fucked up as the above mentioned. Jojo is coming back yay~ At last, something different amidst the same old boring routines.

Know why I haven't been posting lately? Cos my all time favourite photographer dropped her camera. GOD DAMNIT!!!! No more camerawoman to take pictures for me to post here booohooohooo~ But fret not people, that rich camerawoman is getting a new camera from Sim Lim tomorrow yay~ woooopeeeeee~

Though its always good to have new toys to play with, we shouldn't forget about tat old toy that gave us so many special moment to laugh at ya? Hence, this is a tribute to you, whichever model and brand you are, Miss 5mp camera that died because of someone's clumsiness. I dedicate this entry to you. May you Rust In Peace in someone's drawer. Miss you many many and hope your successor will outshine you many many times and make me look much much slimmer than I really am!

Before we bury Miss whatever brand/model 5mp camera into our memory, lets take one last look at those excellent pictures she gave us.








We will miss you dearly Miss whatever brand/model 5mp camera!! Rust In Peace!!!

Its been a wet wet wet weekend...rained day and night, night and day, during bbq, during mahjong, during zleeping, during dinner, lunch, breakfast, during pangsai, zangzwee, during Luton Town going down to Liverpool 5-3, during Spurs leading 2-0 at half time and go on to lose 3-2 to Leicester City (What's new?) and its raining again now....like that how to sun the clothes? Fucking hell....the worries of a househusband...which is what I am now....

Its quite amazing how girls morph into as they grow older. Happened to see my Jojo online the other day and quite amazed the way she look after she permed her hair. She used to be really cute with her bleached, short, straight hair (and smell really nice too!) but now she's so full of 女人味 with those curly long hair. Her face didn't change much though she did slim down...but regardless how much she changed, she's still that cutie Jojo I adore and miss so much...

Now lets compare the difference hehehehe...

Then.....

That girl on the left is Jojo lor...I'm the one on the right lor...fuck you lar...since when limpeh ever this slim? That one is Danny, owner of Protonbitshi Workshop,
DANNI lll lll ART .



This one then is limpeh...see that Oakley I'm wearing? I lend it to chow curly and that bugger left it in his van then his van kanna kiao by some "bo leong sim + gian png" people and the only "dart lwee" thing in his van was my this Oakley shades so it was the only thing that kanna stolen. Anyway, do we look loving in this picture? Of cos we do~ But the thing was, we weren't even an item during that time wahahahahahahahahaha~ Wondering how I managed to get such a cutie chickadee? Here's the answer.....



Of cos limpeh use force one la...if not mala wu call leng limpeh always kio tio gu lanz? So many gu lanz on the street waiting for me to kio meh? KAI WAN XIAO!! So sometimes, force and brutality is necessary to get what you want. Kidding la...I accidentally tripped over (who was lying on the floor) and fell onto her la~ Then someone quickly took picture of us in that position one la! By the way, please don't show this to Samantha if you know her hahahahaha....


Now.....

Her features didn't change much except that her face is less chubby now...quite amazing how much difference a simple hairdo can do to your whole image. No wonder David Gan tan gao buay lin chu....so 女人 now right? Dunno got chance to rekindle our lost love or not hor? Heh...


So can anyone tell me, whats the moral of this entry?




The moral of this entry is...next time your son wanna become hairdresser, dont think he's some kinda guniang or gay or what and stop him from pursuing his dream...you'll never know when another David Gan will jump out from nowhere again...last time is from Ipoh, maybe this time will come from your house. Hairdo can make someone look so much different hor, ah Gan?

Closed For New Year's Eve Celebration.

Happy Fucking New Year!!!!!

(hope you fuckers get whatever you fucking wished fer 2006 and see you fuckers next year wahahaha......)

Its been awhile....actually it has been a long while since I wrote something here. I told Corina that blogging is fucking taxing...she said.."Is it? I thought its just writing things mindlessly, like writing a diary." Ya, quite true, except that you paste stickers and photos into ur diary but not editing pictures, putting words into people's mouth so as to make them talk, so that friends would laugh at their silly friends, so on so for.

And what do I get at the end of the day? "BUI EH!! YOU SIBEI HO!!" or "Darling, I love your blog so much(But minus those profanities...)!! you're so very funny!!" or "Hahahahahahaahahahaha..." Well, not so bad...at least some kinda acknowledgement from friends...but sometimes I'm so fucking sian that I just dont feel like, or rather, simply got no inspiration to blog anything.

I've been super busy for the whole of November. No fuckers...I'm not busy preparing for my 31st birthday. Infact, I didn't have any kinds of celebrations other than a few good friends smsing me wishing me happy birthday. Yeah, I prefer this way to be honest. No celebrations, no alarms and no surprises, no nothing. Just plain old stay-at-home-and-wait-for-the-right-moment-to-puff-the-magical-dragon. Felt bad turning down Andy's offer to celebrate my birthday at his place but I no longer want/need this kinda attention from friends.

I was busy with my freelance translation(as you can read from my previous posts) and busy attending wedding dinners. 5 wedding dinners in 5 consecutive weeks. Yes I know, my social fucking circle is as big as that fucking ring encircling Saturn

Its quite an accomplishment from Zero wedding dinner in 5 years to 8 wedding dinners in 1 year. Anyway, I'm glad my friends want me to be there to share their joy as well. Its been really fun cos I'm always sitting beside chio bus!



Alice's wedding was the first I attended in November. I dunno those 2 "chio bus" sitting on my right but I guess most of you know that "chio bu" on my left.



Then it was Junqing(Covice)'s wedding. Again, I was sitting next to two chio bus. Sitting on my left was Elaine...



And sitting on my right was Wynn...my camera phone didn't do her much justice...she's much much more pretty than what you see here...and that fatass really kio tio cow's genital to be able to sit beside such a chio bu~


After that it was my secondary school friend's wedding(no pictures cos I think they lost the negatives....hehehe...no la...he hasn't pass me anything la...)



Then it was my see mei's wedding. This is Yvonne aka Puntartgal. No, she's not from China and no, she's not my ex. She might be my future though...wahahahahahahaahaha!!!! But I think its time someone get me a better camera phone for Christmas heh...



In case you guys forgotten which Yvonne was my ex...the one with that kawaii teeth lor....


And finally, last but not least, ah nan's wedding. I was his brother cum Emcee and its fucking siong being his brother. No, not because I had to eat raw bitter gourd, but due to the fact that I played overnight Mahjong just before I go help him save angbao money by being his brother. Fucking stoned can...I didn't expect to travel around to take pictures else I wouldn't be wearing a lai sa...but thank god for the couple, it was a bright sunny day and I really regretted wearing that lai sa that day...so fucking warm can!! Well, despite being under the scorching sun in shirt and tie with a lai sa inside, it was really fun!! Talk alot of cock as usual and did some cock postures as well. Anyway, lets take a look at some of the pictures taken on his customary day....



The couple, brothers and sisters...Cannot recall who's place was this...was it nan's?



This was taken at Punggol Park...I'm gonna make them carry me this way as well if I ever do get taken off the shelf...



Without a doubt, Fatass outshined Sir Colin-Eats-Alot this time with a new hairdo~ Actually its I bo see gan comb hair cos rushing out after finishing Mahjong wahahahahahahaha~


Not even the combined effort of the 3 chiobus can divert attention away from that dashing fatass behind. No camera trick involved...I'm indeed taller than them by 1 head.



Bui eh!!! 你知道吗？你是最好的！



Chris....when wanna jump from jiaos's sampan onto my aircraft carrier? My aircraft carrier very spacious one you know?



I think she still prefer staying onboard that sampan...got USS Enterprise don't want...so goonz!!



But I think her sampan(jiaos) prefer the role of "Tinky Winky" so he can be with Gaylord Focker.



Me and my high school lover...ok ok...we were never lovers...we are just a pair of 苦命鸳鸯 because limpeh bo ji jio her kia steady~



This is Angela...I got to know her on that very day but she's already bugging me to take picture with her and even requested me to put my hand on her waist! She's only 12 you know!! Goodness!! Ok ok...I'm talking cock...suddenly I feel that I'm talking like him
------->



The Sisters...plus an alien from the planet Uranus...hurhur..


(There are more pictures regarding nan's wedding but I'll post more next time...I am too sian to show you my spoof pictures and pictures of the dinner now heh...)


Other than all these, all I ever did was play pool with Matt and Ber at this place call pool junction. As I was waiting for cab at Selegie Center after playing pool with those 2 buggers, something amazing caught my attention. I can't fucking believe one can actually find this kinda shit in Singapore....











I wonder if the shop vendor purposely use this mistake as an eye catcher or he's as dumb as that "Fuck The Certain Price Of Goods" vendor...whichever it is, both are fucking idiots....

Ok, thats it for the time being....till then, fuckers....

I am so sian that I don't feel like blogging at all....so fucking sian you know?

No Surprises

By Radiohead

A heart that's full up like a landfill,

A job that slowly kills you,

Bruises that won't heal

You were so tired, happy,

Bring down the government,

They don't, they don't speak for her

I'll take the quiet life,

a handshake of carbon monoxide,
No alarms and no surprises,

No alarms and no surprises,

No alarms and no surprises,

Silent, silent

This is my final fit,

My final bellyache with,

No alarms and no surprises,

No alarms and no surprises,

No alarms and no surprises, please

Such a pretty house,

Such a pretty garden,

No alarms and no surprises,

No alarms and no surprises,

No alarms and no surprises, please

LIMPEH SUCCESSFULLY SUBMITTED THAT TRANS-PUA-BYE-LATION TODAY!!!!! HIP HIP!!! HOO-NIN-NA-BU-EH-RAY!!!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!! SHOW LIMPEH THE MONEY NOW!!!!!!

But dunno how long then they will send me that poobor cheque.....$$ really pai tan man...

Ahh...finally done with those fucking charts...before moving on to the graphs, I thought maybe I show you guys what the fuck am I translating all this while. You think its easy eh? Ok...lemme just show you example of some easy ones (since I managed to scan some pages at puss's place 2 nights ago) if not you cheebyes you all thought limpeh exaggerating...











Easy huh....easy then you come chee kua mai lor....but just don't translate until like this....sure make pple chio gao gay lark....





Funny eh? This one lagi power....you think the fellar who translated this is stupid? The one paying for this kinda shit lagi stupid ok~ Ok la..I know my angmor also not very good but fuck lor...this one really no horse run....