13 November 2008

As you fuggers know, limpeh got 2 kittens cats at home and limpeh's mother has been taking care of their shit and pee for almost a year now. What do limpeh mean when limpeh say take care of their shit and pee? You see, domestic cats are trained to do their business in one little basin call peetray that has catsand in it. When cats pee, these catsand will clog up into a chunk to trap all the pee and all you have to do is to scoop and throw downstairs. Likewise when they pangsai.


But limpeh's mother's back is not that good because long long time ago, the only milk she can find in the market is only soya milk and not Anlene so her ba jiak goot is not as strong as Michelle Yeo. Since her ba jiak goot is not so strong, she finds it hard to bend down to scoop those chunk of catsand and throw downstairs. Limpeh's limbu try to score points with limpeh's mother and suggested from now on, limpeh will throw the catsand chunk downstairs. Limpeh of cos not happy lar! Everyday in office must wipe customer's backside still not enuff, come back still must clear the things that come out from the cats backside. Where got time!!


So limpeh said, if limpeh have to do that, limpeh tomorrow will bring the 2 cats and set them free at Bukit Batok park. Below was how the conversation went...


Mother: 你如果把他们放掉,我就把你抓去光明山放掉!

Limpeh: 我长大了。。现在轮到我把你放掉。。因为你连 takesee 都不会搭。

Mother: 。。。。

Limpeh: 你会跟 takesee uncle 说...“takesee uncle,可以载我回家吗?”then takesee uncle 会说... “你住在哪里?”then 你说...“在我弟弟隔壁(my uncle stays next door)” then takesee uncle 会说... “那你弟弟住哪里?”then 你说...“他住靠近电梯啰!”

Mother: 。。。。。。现在很厉害了哦!

Limpeh: 不会啦。。。骗吃骗吃而已。。

31 October 2008

Went to limpeh first ever musical at Esplanade with limbu tonight and was quite amazed with how the inside of a theatre really looks like. Reminds limpeh of what limpeh saw when limpeh watched Phantom of The Opera. But then sgain, it also reminded limpeh of Gladiators because of the way the seats were arranged.


One thing limpeh noticed was that there was alot of chio bus there. And limpeh really mean chio bu! Alot ok!! Cheebye...limpeh oso dunno why so many chio bu go and watch this musical because it really from head sing until tail. Some part limpeh understand but most of the part limpeh dont. Dont ask limpeh why, limpeh just dunno how to catch the ball. Anyway, even those part where limpeh understand, limpeh didnt know how to appreciate it. But that limbu sitting besides limpeh laugh until as if she saw Steven Lim

pants drop and revealed something that looks like this


on national tv. HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! LIMPEH FINALLY KNOW WHAT IS SHORT AND STOUT LEOW HAHAHHHAHAHHAHA!! Don't be mistaken hor...limpeh was referring his to the purple one found on the far right of the picture. Even those babes sitting beside limpeh oso laugh until sibei happy and diam diam clap. Limbu ask limpeh why limpeh never clap. If you happy and you know then you clap mah...limpeh happy but dunno why happy so how to clap?


Anyway, tonight was ok lar..at least limpeh experienced something different than going to Balestier Shaw to watch crap movies. But the only thing that amazed limpeh was that there were so many chio bus! Some wear until the ball wanna gar loud on the floor ok!! Limpeh bet if Colin was here he would be the happiest man in the theatre though limpeh bet he wouldn't know what was going on 3/4 of the whole show. He would be happy because of all the chio bus he can see, especially sitting in close proximity with some.


When limpeh ask limbu how come got so many chio bu come and watch, limbu say this is different culture from what limpeh had been experiencing. Simi lan is different culture...all oso yellow outside wat. Then limpeh realise what limbu meant. Angmor's musical is watch inside theatre and the chio bus who put half ball are the audience but us the commoners yellow skin watch our musical at roadside or open field and those that put half ball are those on the stage. People's one call Musical where ours call Goh Tai. This is so call different culture. So next time you wanna act got ink, tell your friends you going to the field between block 107 and 109 to watch chinese musical and your friends will think you are one level higher than them. PUI!!


Ok, to wrap things up, what is the moral of tonight's blog? If you want to see balls rolling around, you can either go to Pool Junction at IOI plaza or Repertory Theatre at Esplanade. Remember to bring more tissue paper to wipe your chwee nua.


Oh ya, so what did limpeh catch tonight??


quite geh gian la this musical...the stage props brought limpeh all the way back to 1983 where limpeh was still watching sesame street...so nostalgic...

06 October 2008

Limbu sometimes sibei cute but sometimes oso sibei kiam pa...but most of the time sibei choo bee....thats why limpeh call her bee...cos she very choo bee...


We are sending our cats for competition in December and she volunteered to send in the details, which she couldn't remember most of it....after she sent in the details, she asked limpeh to check if they are correct. Below was how the conversation went...


Limbu: by the way, are the birthdates for sharkey and mae (name of limpeh's cat) correct?

Limpeh: correct

Limbu: limbu's memory power bo!

Limpeh: power...but previously you put dou balek...month you put 10 date you put 2...

Limbu: crap..izzit?

Limpeh: Ya lar...the competition in June you put their birthdate as October and then those jubos oso never check...

Limbu: hee hee...

Limpeh: then 4 months ago the eye color u put copper then now become green....why? because copper put outside put too long oxidized and thats why become green?

Limbu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHAHAA!!


Will limpeh's cats win the December competition? But of cos!! Limpeh show you how handsome and pretty limpeh's cats are...


This is Mae...she's a female and meows like one too...abit skinny but ok lar, charbos all like to be skinny, if they can hurhur...



This is Sharky..last time young that time known as Ricky the tum jia cat but now become Sharky because limpeh's brother said he looks like shark..the top is grey and bottom is white.


So what is the moral of the story? Go join cats competition if you have nothing better to do with your gf, provided you have champion cats like limpeh whahaahahaha!!

25 September 2008

Hiya fuggers...its been a while, a long long while since limpeh blogged. No, it is not because limpeh is busy but rather, limpeh got better things to do. Actually, no lar, limpeh think limpeh is running out of juices to blog. Seriously, limpeh is getting less angry with things nowadays. Limpeh is less critical about how people behave and although they are still quite cheebye in limpeh's humble opinion, they will still perish one day and all the cheebye deeds they do shall be left to the dust.


Tons of things had happened and limpeh've got so many pictures in limpeh's phone that limpeh dunno where to start blogging about. Lets all go through the picture one by one and see what can limpeh remember about the picture taken.



Limpeh was influenced by Sir-Colin-Eats-A-Lot(funny, seems like he is eating lesser nowadays. Maybe old leow so his stomach kiew chwee) and started looking at Panerai watches. But limpeh wasn't ready to spend that kind of $$ on a watch limpeh barely know and so, limpeh bought Panerai's great great great grandson who looks upon his great great great grandfather and tries to be like him.





Got this Marina Militare Power Reserve from a young chap in SG-ROC for S$150 to play play. Astonishingly, it looked good on limpeh!!(or that is how limpeh wanna think). And this started limpeh's journey of being a paneristi (how panerai enthusiasts would call themselves), which limpeh later got smacked real hard trying to be one.








Then this was the start of the kiam chai saga. Dunno izzit because limpeh didnt change underwear after showering or izzit because ah diang's trips keep cock up, limpeh's first long holiday was disrupted by some Parapongs and Sutratchais. You see, limpeh planned this trip to Phuket in end Aug all the back back since beginning of July and was told last minute that Phuket airport was close and limpeh's flight was cancelled. Cheebye right!!! So ah diang suggested that we change plans and go another place cause we've all applied leave and dont know when then we can take leave together again. So limpeh gong gong jit dey bah and suggested we go to this place. It was a nightmare from the beginning limpeh step onto the plane and it only ended when limpeh touchdown on Singapore soil. So you know where are we heading to? Correct, it is HongCheebyeKong.


Because air asia got no direct flight to HongCheebyeKong(dont ask me why we didnt choose cathay or other flight or limpeh will break your neck), we had to transit at Kuala Lumpur Airport. We had to wait 7 hours at the airport before departuring to HongCheebyeKong. We thought KLIA should be a nice airport cos it is relatively new, but we forgotten who was maintaining it. Those people were so busy catching who fuck whose backside that they got no time to maintain their airport. It was a nightmare to wait 7 hours at the god forsaken airport. This will be the first and last time limpeh transit from KL ever again. Limpeh will spare you the details cos limpeh oso dont wanna be reminded of that horrible incident ever again. PUI!!


HongCheebyeKong is ok if you are wearing a nice pair of sneakers and you didnt break your cheeye leg in a cheebye accident that your knee hurts like hell when you walk. The one and only thing limpeh look forward to every morning is the time when we all come back from outside in the night. Yes, that was how bad it is. We would walk, and walk, and walk, and walk somemore the whole fucking day. Yes!! The whole fucking day!! Of cos, the food is nice but if limpeh have to walk so much to enjoy some nice food, limpeh rather starve man.

But the girls don't mind, and so does Sir-Colin-Eats-A-Lot.


smile until like that...must be never eat wanton mee for a long time leow...


Sexy or not?? Can see bua liap leh...


Obviously ah diang was the most happy person on earth because limpeh was by her side almost 23hrs/day. We went Stanley Market and she was overwhelmed by the price of the dey kors that she bought a whopping 10pairs!! she bought 2 for limpeh as well but when limpeh try those dey kor later on, those dey kor appears to be low waist and almost 1/3 of limpeh's butt crack is exposed outside. So limpeh will just framed the dey kors up and keep it as a memo of a lanjiao place visited back in Aug 08. But as long as ah diang is happy, limpeh is happy too!


busy checking which dey kor looks nicer...fuck..wear inside no one can see oso must look nice meh?


smile until like that...must be very long never buy dey kor leow...


Saw some Panerai in HongCheebyeKong but limpeh still can't decide if limpeh is gonna get one. It is not cheap my friend, mind you. And limpeh is not making millions and limpeh is still driving a company car so limpeh have to think properly before limpeh splurge on something. And so, limpeh came back to Singapore with a broken heart but the determination grew. Limpeh will, get limpeh a Panerai soon!!


Disaster struck when we came back to Singapore. Limpeh accidentally dropped limpeh's Marina Militare onto the floor and the Power Reserve hand fell off.





BooHoo...although it is just a great great great grandson of Panerai, limpeh still have some feelings for him one ok. Cos it felt real good when it was sitting on limpeh's wrist when the whole nightmare took place in HongCheebyeKong. Sigh...maybe this is a sign that great great great grandfather is on his way? And oh ya, that watch on top is a present for completing limpeh's pursue of an education level higher than ah diang. It is not easy to get a degree when you are working so one deserve the best when it is duly completed! Limpeh was told that for every achievement, there is a crown. Limpeh thought it means to get limpeh a Carlsberg beer (but limpeh don't drink one leh) but luckily Sir-Colin-Eats-a-Lot told limpeh it is this baby. It is a reward limpeh get for limpehself ok! it is a 116710LN...but the process of getting it wasn't the happiest thing someone would have.


Knowing that limpeh is interested to get a Panerai, Sir-Colin-Eats-A-Lot showed a lot of support to realise limpeh's dream. He brought limpeh here and there to feel the magic of a PAM and gave limpeh numerous number to call. As mentioned earlier, limpeh is just a blue collar worker driving company's car to work, limpeh didnt have much cash to spare. Therefore, asking limpeh to part with that kind of money in cash is like asking Sir-Colin-Eats-a-Lot to throw away his fish and grass or asking ah diang to set Cookie free. It is fucking difficult. So limpeh reckon if limpeh can pay installment for it, limpeh wouldn't feel the pinch so much. So limpeh called Hour Glass and remarkably, they have one PAM 104K to sell!!


You see, Panerai only make a certain amount for certain models to sell every year. Plus the fact they are supplying to the whole world, it is not easy to find a model you like in your neighbourhood friendly horological shop. Since limpeh chanced upon one randomly, limpeh sees it as a sign from heaven and earth that it belongs to limpeh! And so, limpeh pull out limpeh's credit card and give it to the uncle who keep singing praises of how good it look on limpeh wrist. Cheebye, of cos look good, else you think limpeh will wanna make limpeh look like shit meh?


SWEE BOH!!!! My first Panerai!! Woopee!!!


PAM 104K <-- the K here means K series which means it is manufactured in 2008. Not that it cost S$104,000.00. You think limpeh really smuggle heroin to Malaysia? You think they can afford heroin?


116710LN


Trinity, for the time being hehe...


Recent acquisition. Strap culture Legend 2 strap and buckle.


Ok guys, limpeh will continue this again for its time to wack some orders in so that limpeh can get more watches!!!


P/S: Oh by the way, limpeh decided to quit smoking so that limpeh will have more funds to buy watches. Or should limpeh say, limpeh already quit smoking?

02 July 2008

Limpeh: You say you don't have bolster right? Nah..here's a dolphin for you to cuddle to sleep at night..

Limbu: (Delighted) Thanks!!! So cute!!! Muacks!!!





2 days later....


Limbu: Eh..the dolphin you bought for me pai eh...


Limpeh: Huh? Is it? Nevermind, you pass it back to limpeh...Limpeh go and chow gan the shop attendant for selling me a pahlia dolphin...


Limbu: Orh...


Limpeh: But funny leh...limpeh check that time ok leh...bo pai leh...


Limbu: Got lar...it has a hole on top of its head...


Limpeh: ?!?!? THATS THE FREAKING BLOWHOLE LAR!!! ALL DOLPHINS HAVE BLOWHOLE ON THEIR HEAD LAR YOU NEH NEH POK!!!


Limbu: Oh...is it?


Limpeh: Ya lar!!! So if limpeh buy elephant for you, you also gonna tell limpeh, "baby, the elephant pai eh cos they sew its dick on its face leh..."?!?


Limbu: ......

30 May 2008

Limpeh: Eh...limpeh next week going KL for a couple of days to visit customers..


Limbu: Which day? Can I go with you?


Limpeh: Dunno yet, see when boss wants limpeh to go up. You go then what you do when limpeh go see customers?


Limbu: I go roam around lor..


Limpeh: Ok lor...aiya limpeh just go on Monday, don't care leow. Also dunno when boss gonna get back to limpeh.


Limbu: Ok!! Then I apply leave for Monday to Wednesday. Eh, make sure you get your boss to reimburse your hotel payment.


Limpeh: Of course lar! You think limpeh gong one ar? Limpeh gonna stay the best hotel in KL and claim towkay. Lets stay at the Golden Palace of The Horses!!


Limbu: Erm...its Palace of The Golden Horses.


Limpeh: Whatever lar...limpeh chup siao they golden or bronze..so long limpeh go there and get an erection as big as the horses can leow...


Limbu: ......

28 May 2008

Please refer below for Fishhead Steamboat location.


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For those coming from the West by PIE, exit Thomson Road and turn right. Travel for like 250m and turn left into Balestier Road. Turn left again when you see Ah Hood Road. The Hur Tao Lor coffeeshop is just infront of the junction turning into Ah Hood Road. Once you turned in, you will see HDB parking lots on your left so just park there. Remember to tia coupon unless you got alot of $30 to spare.


For those coming from the East, either you call us to pick you up at some MRT station or ask uncle to send you there, if you are one of the rich and famous. We will rendevous at the Hur Tao Lor coffeeshop at 7pm + 30mins. Anyone come later than 7.30pm will chia 1 dish that cost not less than $15.


Please don't ask who is coming because you will find out once you are there. If you want to find out who will be there before you are there, dial 1800-40-3825-96877353(go figure what it means by the sms way).


There will be coffee/drinks session after makan but the location is not confirmed yet. Limpeh suggested Hotel Intercontinental but Puss prefers Quality Hotel, which according to him, has more quality than most of the Fragrance Hotel and Hotel 81. God knows what kind of quality is he referring to.


So see you kids at Hur Tao Lor coffeeshop this coming Saturday. Bring your kids along if you want, limpeh will make sure Colin doesn't run away with them.

27 May 2008

Its been a really really long while since limpeh sat down at home and blog. Limpeh couldn't even remember what did limpeh blogged about previously. Anyway, this is the first time limpeh took MC and really rest at home. And limpeh mean REALLY rest at home doing nothing(though limpeh checked some email and tok to some of my colleagues for awhile).


Am down with cough and flu and an infection on the gum. So limpeh took this chance to upload some images limpeh took and stored in the phone for a fucking long time.


Still remember the exhaust of a Rex limpeh took many months back? Limpeh wanted to zng one to limpeh's Avante took back then but was having a hard time choosing which one to zng because there are so many lying around the corridor outside limpeh's office.


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Which one should limpeh choose for limpeh's tailpipe?


But before limpeh can decide on which tailpipe limpeh should choose, limpeh's boss ask limpeh to pass limpeh's ride to one of the sales engineer and he will get limpeh another ride. So limpeh had to dekit limpeh's ride before it even ran in. Cheebyes...you know how much time limpeh spent on getting the right sound with the right components? It was a damn damn sad day when limpeh had to watch those guys at the audio shop strip limpeh's amps and speakers and headunit and processor out of my ride...


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There goes limpeh heart, lungs and kidneys...


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The prettiest things in limpeh's life is now longer part of limpeh's life..


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Sob!!!


There goes limpeh's 12 months of hardwork, pure pleasure and the only thing limpeh can call it limpeh's "hobby". Luckily, there is still ah diang to amuse me at home. Ah diang told limpeh that she had learn something from Mr David Copperfield when she travelled to US in 2005 and wanted to show limpeh what she had learned. So she borrowed limpeh's favourite steamed drumstick for the act. And of cos, limpeh lend it to her cos limpeh trust her and have faith in her but guess what she did?


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Now you see it......




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Now you dont! Now limpeh know what is "down to the bone" leow...limpeh bet Timothy's dog cant even eat till so clean...


And so, we moved into year 2008. Isn't that fast?!?!? So what's happening in year 2008? Limpeh finally completed limpeh's study and have started travelling to and fro KL. It is a fucking tiring task when one have drive to and fro KL on a single day so limpeh pulled Puss along and he did most of the driving that day. He was down with fever for the next 3 days when we came back to SG. Fucking weak right! But limpeh think it was not the driving that made him sick but the chicken in Malacca. You see, on our way back, that bugger suggest that we detour to Malacca to eat chicken rice. Of cos limpeh agreed to it cos limpeh's not the one driving what.


So there we go, over the mountains and over the sea just to eat chicken rice at Malacca. On our way back, we saw some magnificent buildings and a bunch of Kawaii Ne Japanese chicks taking pictures. You see, people travelled all the way from Nagoya to Malacca to take pictures of the magnificent buildings but we are there only for the chicken rice. How would you feel if you are the deities that look after Malacca? You'd be pissed right? So there it goes, they casted Fever on Puss because he was the instigator and I am merely accomplice so I kanna mere cough and flu niah. The fact that I took some pictures of the very Portugese Malacca saved me from suffering fever for 3 days, unlike Puss who was only interested of the chicken rice....


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Seriously, limpeh just anyhow snapshot to prove that limpeh's been to Malacca so dont ask limpeh what building is this...


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Also dunno what is this building call but Puss said its a landmark of Malacca so limpeh just take. Limpeh think he anyhow bullshit like most of the tour guides in Singapore..


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Like above, dunno what the fuck is this place about but limpeh think they sell nice KFC inside where they have a bottle of chili and ketchup on the table for u to pour till u siao.


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The gate of world famous Farmosa Chicken Rice!! Or rather, Malacca...


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Thats Malacca's shell where limpeh pumped full tank of V-Power at 173 Ringgit. Thats less than $75 SGD!!! Full tank of V-Power at less that $75 can you imagine that?!?!?!


Ok, fuck Malacca, limpeh had enough of it. So what is the moral of the story? If you are dying to take MC and rest at home, go Malacca just to eat chicken rice.


Ok, its time to take medicine and go take a nap or play with limpeh's new found toy. What is it?


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Behold, Ricky the tum jia cat!!!

11 May 2008

Today is officially the first day of limpeh having a life again. Yes, MY CHEEBYE AND KAN SEE LANG SIONG DEGREE COURSE IS FINALLY OVER!!!!!!! At least for now, till limpeh finally gotten limpeh's results. But sure pass one lar..cos limpeh's coursemate told me, as long as you pay your school fees, they will pass you. This is exactly what was taught in limpeh's consumer behaviour lectures. What is our needs and wants? To get the fucking paper lar thats what...if limpeh pay money and still fail, limpeh will go out and tell everyone that the school jiak lwee. Take money already still fail you so that you can repeat the course and let them earn more money from you and fail you again so as to earn even more money from you. This is the job of the opinion leader, which limpeh is obviously one. So who else will sign up their courses? No fucking one. Therefore, as long as you pay up regularly and in full, they will give you the pang sai zua you sought after badly. Do not, limpeh repeat, do not underestimate the power of consumers. For without them, the economy will suffer and crumble, the entire humanity structure will crumble and finally, the whole world crumbles. But then again, the world is crumbling now as limpeh is blogging so tell limpeh, who the fuck cares about consumers?


However, limpeh still wanna celebrate the day of limpeh's freedom by quoting Martin Luther King's word. Thanks Mr King, for only until now, limpeh can finally fully and totally understand your words.


"Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty, limpeh is free at last!!"


So where are we heading out to wet? Taman Sentosa anybody?

15 April 2008

Yesterday was limpeh's first attempt to drive across the border. No, limpeh didnt just drive across the border and U-turn back. You think limpeh so bo liao like you ar? First time drive across the border and limpeh drove across the sea twice! Cheebye...it was damn siong can...limpeh woke up at 6am and left home at 630am, only to reach limpeh customer's place at 11.20am!!!!! Fucking cheebye..the place is on another island just beside KL. Just is an understatement actually, it only appear to be just beside KL on the MAP but the fucking drive took limpeh at least 45mins!! Then the lanjiao road full of potholes and gravel and everything that reminds limpeh the roads in Pulau Tekong. Then you know what? Limpeh's GPS indicated infront no more road leow...What the fuck rite!! No more road leow then how? Lan lan look at those lanjiao roadsigns for clue and finally found the place. Wah lan eh, limpeh think soon limpeh need to change springs leow. Went thru so many potholes at at least 70kmh...so limpeh think it is necessary for limpeh to change to KW coilovers now rite?

Then tok tok smoke smoke and they chia limpeh eat nasi goreng from their canteen and tu till almost 3 then lemme go. Then limpeh have to rush back before 6 if not kanna traffic jam then hong kan leow. Cheong halfway du tio lor hor...cheebye...cant see a fuck in front but limpeh still loot 120kmh. Ok lar....can still see a bit but the drive was fucking tiring lor...limpeh didnt stop much, only once to pee and once to pump fuel niah...IT IS SO FUCKING TIRING TO DRIVE UP TO SELANGOR!!! Limpeh actually doze off for like 2 seconds and when limpeh open limpeh's eyes, limpeh can see limpeh driving on the road shoulder. JI SCARY YI XIA!!! You know the motorists there never pay roadtax so they can only ride along the road shoulder, imagine the number of motorists limpeh'd knock down if limpeh doze off for like 3 mins....at least strike 3 times to get a turkey. It is really uncontrollable...your eyes will just close by itself. Wonder how come that never happened when limpeh was watch porn...Nonetheless, it was quite scary beause the cliff is waiting right beside you with just the railing seperating life and death. Fuck..it is so fucking scary that limpeh will buy 12 cans of Redbull whenever limpeh needs to drive to KL in the future.

And so, limpeh gave limpeh's first time to limpeh's customer...hope he likes it and hope he buy more things from me. It is so tiring that limpeh cannot sleep when limpeh laid down on limpeh's bed last night. When limpeh managed to fall asleep, alarm clock ring leow..cheebye...now limpeh is feeling the power of the Z monster leow...so limpeh guess limpeh better pay the toilet a visit...