16 July 2009

How is eberybirdie man! Its been so so long since limpeh blogged. Think no one bother oso lar...Anyway limpeh is still the same...can sit on the bed and air limpeh's balls while watching lizards fuck on the ceiling limpeh happy leow. Blog? MALA WU ENG!!

But then again, so much had happened so limpeh thought limpeh can update you fuggers a bit. First of all, let limpeh see where limpeh had stopped blogging.

Oh..since 16th March...that is not very long ago. Only 4 months plus. Lets see what limpeh have in limpeh's picture folder...Actually limpeh is pretty sleepy now...so pardon limpeh's jit dey jit dey sentences...

First of all, someone got himself into shit!!! Wahahahaha...erm...ok ok, sorry. Marriage is a good thing because it injects responsibilities into people, making them more matured. Now, limpeh is not saying ah diang is immatured so dont mistaken limpeh. But limpeh is happy to see him finally settled down.


Ah diang is damn happy that day but someone forgot to turn on the flash..




Ya lar...told you on the flash better leow you goonz....


It is quite surreal to see friends whom you know for 15+ years get married. Limpeh can still recall how we used to chor dai dee at Atrium and eat Swensen's ice cream cake in Pasir Ris chalet back in the 90s. Unbelievable..limpeh is actually witnessing limpeh's friend becoming adults!! But there are some things that do no change...puss is still having that sleepy look while russ still look very much like MM Lee to me.



Then limpeh had to go up to Terengganu to settle some fire hose issue. Limpeh oso cannot remember the exact dat except that it was during Ramadan where most food stalls were not open so we had to buy, cook and eat maggie mee at the nearby petrol kiosk. Best of all, the bloody maggie mee bo taste one!!! Someone forgot to add salt to it...We had to work under the hot sun and only get to eat tasteless maggie mee at petrol kiosk...thats why limpeh always tell people limpeh is a hao xiao manager cause limpeh simi lan oso must do...




Alvin demostrating how chum he is...



Then it was limpeh's graduation which limpeh thought was a waste of money attending. Limpeh had to sit there for 2-3 hrs and listen to bullshit before limpeh go up the stage to take the scroll and shake ah diang's hand and then listen to more bullshit before proceeding for the buffet. So what is the moral of the story? Limpeh's theory of "Academic competency does not prove that you are more capable than others" is proven right because limpeh this kind of kar siao (means calibre) oso can get it, what makes you think those selling chicken rice or pig intestine soup cannot? Read my engrish, you think the professor can understand?



Degree is hao siao one lar (sorry Shuling! :P). Somemore recently got 2 private schools close down cause they give fake certs and degrees...cheebye..this kind of people also have..told you long long ago to download your degree at www.download-a-degree.com you dont listen, pay people tens of thousands of dollars to download for you. ORRBEEGOOD!!!





Stomach hungry leow...can someone finish this shit so that limpeh can go outside and wack the food?



Then it was to Turi Beach at Batam. Lovely place and exceptional experience on our first night there. We stayed in a hut near the beach and it rained T-rex and Mammoth in the middle of the night. The thunder caused the power to trip and we thought our hut was gonna washed away by the waves. Luckily for us, nothing happened except for the mosquitoes attack in the night. Imagine us waking up in the middle of the night to swap mosquitoes. Thought this will only happen in Tekong..




Swee boh! Ok lar..this is one of the nicer beach limpeh have been to..





Evidence of the midnight tassle with Mr Yeeeee...yeee...yeeee.....mosquito.




Which of cos, we won. Die mosquito!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ok, think limpeh will stop here for the time being. Customer coming to see limpeh so limpeh go sell them some shit they dont need and make some money to pay some bloodsuckersssss...

16 March 2009


Two dumbfucks who thought Watchmen means Men who wear watches, a perfect demostration of what Nincompoops are capable of.

03 March 2009

Limpeh call her bee because she is bery chubee. Why is she bery chubee? Because she claims that she doesn't understand bad english and the only thing limpeh cannot speak is good english. But sometimes, limpeh tiao kang listurb her and speak bad english so that she will jump and kiew goon(cringe). It is bery fun to see her kiew goon cos limpeh finds it very chubee. This is why limpeh call her bee.

limbu: how are you feeling today?

limpeh: much better...can sing song leow..

limbu: that's great! but you not fully recovered yet?

limpeh: still got lao abit peechwee

limbu: I see..when you are well, lets go watch marley and me! that is a must watch!

limpeh: orr...


After 20mins...

limbu: am suppose to attend a memorial today...for the husband of my ex-colleague but not sure if i can make it

limpeh: if cannot make it then dont go lor...lets go catch barney and me instead

limbu: ??????

limpeh: why? you wanna watch barney and me rite? whats so nice watching a purple dinosaur...thought thats for kids...

limbu: MARLEY!!!! MARLEY & ME!!!!

limpeh: ok ok...don't get so excited...

limbu: GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

20 December 2008

Limbu: So where are we going later? The night is still young leh..


Limpeh: Go Mandai lim kopi lor....near near and cheap cheap..


Limbu: Don't want lar...everytime we got no plans we would go there..can you be more creative?


Limpeh: Ok lor..we go Selegie pak pool lor...


Limbu: Selegie? Where is Selegie? Is it near Seletar?


Limpeh: ....Then is Yio Chu Kang just next to Choa Chu Kang? Or Lokyang is just a street across to Loyang?


Limbu: .....I neber heard of Lokyang...did you make that up?


Limpeh: Aiya...Remember that place limpeh told you Tim ate the Nasi Bryani then next day ask limpeh got laosai or not cos he lao the whole night? The pool place is just behind lar...


Limbu: Oh that place...but I remember last time we went there, the queue was damn long..


Limpeh: ?? Simi cue was damn long? Cues all got standard length one what..the most also 1-2 cm difference..


Limbu: .....THE QUEUE LAR!!! LINE UP ONE BY ONE THOSE KIND OF QUEUE LAR!!


Limpeh: Oh...limpeh thought you so kiang, the cue damn long you also can tell...limpeh pak so many years also cannot tell...


Limbu: .....

13 November 2008

As you fuggers know, limpeh got 2 kittens cats at home and limpeh's mother has been taking care of their shit and pee for almost a year now. What do limpeh mean when limpeh say take care of their shit and pee? You see, domestic cats are trained to do their business in one little basin call peetray that has catsand in it. When cats pee, these catsand will clog up into a chunk to trap all the pee and all you have to do is to scoop and throw downstairs. Likewise when they pangsai.


But limpeh's mother's back is not that good because long long time ago, the only milk she can find in the market is only soya milk and not Anlene so her ba jiak goot is not as strong as Michelle Yeo. Since her ba jiak goot is not so strong, she finds it hard to bend down to scoop those chunk of catsand and throw downstairs. Limpeh's limbu try to score points with limpeh's mother and suggested from now on, limpeh will throw the catsand chunk downstairs. Limpeh of cos not happy lar! Everyday in office must wipe customer's backside still not enuff, come back still must clear the things that come out from the cats backside. Where got time!!


So limpeh said, if limpeh have to do that, limpeh tomorrow will bring the 2 cats and set them free at Bukit Batok park. Below was how the conversation went...


Mother: 你如果把他们放掉,我就把你抓去光明山放掉!

Limpeh: 我长大了。。现在轮到我把你放掉。。因为你连 takesee 都不会搭。

Mother: 。。。。

Limpeh: 你会跟 takesee uncle 说...“takesee uncle,可以载我回家吗?”then takesee uncle 会说... “你住在哪里?”then 你说...“在我弟弟隔壁(my uncle stays next door)” then takesee uncle 会说... “那你弟弟住哪里?”then 你说...“他住靠近电梯啰!”

Mother: 。。。。。。现在很厉害了哦!

Limpeh: 不会啦。。。骗吃骗吃而已。。

31 October 2008

Went to limpeh first ever musical at Esplanade with limbu tonight and was quite amazed with how the inside of a theatre really looks like. Reminds limpeh of what limpeh saw when limpeh watched Phantom of The Opera. But then sgain, it also reminded limpeh of Gladiators because of the way the seats were arranged.


One thing limpeh noticed was that there was alot of chio bus there. And limpeh really mean chio bu! Alot ok!! Cheebye...limpeh oso dunno why so many chio bu go and watch this musical because it really from head sing until tail. Some part limpeh understand but most of the part limpeh dont. Dont ask limpeh why, limpeh just dunno how to catch the ball. Anyway, even those part where limpeh understand, limpeh didnt know how to appreciate it. But that limbu sitting besides limpeh laugh until as if she saw Steven Lim

pants drop and revealed something that looks like this


on national tv. HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! LIMPEH FINALLY KNOW WHAT IS SHORT AND STOUT LEOW HAHAHHHAHAHHAHA!! Don't be mistaken hor...limpeh was referring his to the purple one found on the far right of the picture. Even those babes sitting beside limpeh oso laugh until sibei happy and diam diam clap. Limbu ask limpeh why limpeh never clap. If you happy and you know then you clap mah...limpeh happy but dunno why happy so how to clap?


Anyway, tonight was ok lar..at least limpeh experienced something different than going to Balestier Shaw to watch crap movies. But the only thing that amazed limpeh was that there were so many chio bus! Some wear until the ball wanna gar loud on the floor ok!! Limpeh bet if Colin was here he would be the happiest man in the theatre though limpeh bet he wouldn't know what was going on 3/4 of the whole show. He would be happy because of all the chio bus he can see, especially sitting in close proximity with some.


When limpeh ask limbu how come got so many chio bu come and watch, limbu say this is different culture from what limpeh had been experiencing. Simi lan is different culture...all oso yellow outside wat. Then limpeh realise what limbu meant. Angmor's musical is watch inside theatre and the chio bus who put half ball are the audience but us the commoners yellow skin watch our musical at roadside or open field and those that put half ball are those on the stage. People's one call Musical where ours call Goh Tai. This is so call different culture. So next time you wanna act got ink, tell your friends you going to the field between block 107 and 109 to watch chinese musical and your friends will think you are one level higher than them. PUI!!


Ok, to wrap things up, what is the moral of tonight's blog? If you want to see balls rolling around, you can either go to Pool Junction at IOI plaza or Repertory Theatre at Esplanade. Remember to bring more tissue paper to wipe your chwee nua.


Oh ya, so what did limpeh catch tonight??


quite geh gian la this musical...the stage props brought limpeh all the way back to 1983 where limpeh was still watching sesame street...so nostalgic...

06 October 2008

Limbu sometimes sibei cute but sometimes oso sibei kiam pa...but most of the time sibei choo bee....thats why limpeh call her bee...cos she very choo bee...


We are sending our cats for competition in December and she volunteered to send in the details, which she couldn't remember most of it....after she sent in the details, she asked limpeh to check if they are correct. Below was how the conversation went...


Limbu: by the way, are the birthdates for sharkey and mae (name of limpeh's cat) correct?

Limpeh: correct

Limbu: limbu's memory power bo!

Limpeh: power...but previously you put dou balek...month you put 10 date you put 2...

Limbu: crap..izzit?

Limpeh: Ya lar...the competition in June you put their birthdate as October and then those jubos oso never check...

Limbu: hee hee...

Limpeh: then 4 months ago the eye color u put copper then now become green....why? because copper put outside put too long oxidized and thats why become green?

Limbu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHAHAA!!


Will limpeh's cats win the December competition? But of cos!! Limpeh show you how handsome and pretty limpeh's cats are...


This is Mae...she's a female and meows like one too...abit skinny but ok lar, charbos all like to be skinny, if they can hurhur...



This is Sharky..last time young that time known as Ricky the tum jia cat but now become Sharky because limpeh's brother said he looks like shark..the top is grey and bottom is white.


So what is the moral of the story? Go join cats competition if you have nothing better to do with your gf, provided you have champion cats like limpeh whahaahahaha!!

25 September 2008

Hiya fuggers...its been a while, a long long while since limpeh blogged. No, it is not because limpeh is busy but rather, limpeh got better things to do. Actually, no lar, limpeh think limpeh is running out of juices to blog. Seriously, limpeh is getting less angry with things nowadays. Limpeh is less critical about how people behave and although they are still quite cheebye in limpeh's humble opinion, they will still perish one day and all the cheebye deeds they do shall be left to the dust.


Tons of things had happened and limpeh've got so many pictures in limpeh's phone that limpeh dunno where to start blogging about. Lets all go through the picture one by one and see what can limpeh remember about the picture taken.



Limpeh was influenced by Sir-Colin-Eats-A-Lot(funny, seems like he is eating lesser nowadays. Maybe old leow so his stomach kiew chwee) and started looking at Panerai watches. But limpeh wasn't ready to spend that kind of $$ on a watch limpeh barely know and so, limpeh bought Panerai's great great great grandson who looks upon his great great great grandfather and tries to be like him.





Got this Marina Militare Power Reserve from a young chap in SG-ROC for S$150 to play play. Astonishingly, it looked good on limpeh!!(or that is how limpeh wanna think). And this started limpeh's journey of being a paneristi (how panerai enthusiasts would call themselves), which limpeh later got smacked real hard trying to be one.








Then this was the start of the kiam chai saga. Dunno izzit because limpeh didnt change underwear after showering or izzit because ah diang's trips keep cock up, limpeh's first long holiday was disrupted by some Parapongs and Sutratchais. You see, limpeh planned this trip to Phuket in end Aug all the back back since beginning of July and was told last minute that Phuket airport was close and limpeh's flight was cancelled. Cheebye right!!! So ah diang suggested that we change plans and go another place cause we've all applied leave and dont know when then we can take leave together again. So limpeh gong gong jit dey bah and suggested we go to this place. It was a nightmare from the beginning limpeh step onto the plane and it only ended when limpeh touchdown on Singapore soil. So you know where are we heading to? Correct, it is HongCheebyeKong.


Because air asia got no direct flight to HongCheebyeKong(dont ask me why we didnt choose cathay or other flight or limpeh will break your neck), we had to transit at Kuala Lumpur Airport. We had to wait 7 hours at the airport before departuring to HongCheebyeKong. We thought KLIA should be a nice airport cos it is relatively new, but we forgotten who was maintaining it. Those people were so busy catching who fuck whose backside that they got no time to maintain their airport. It was a nightmare to wait 7 hours at the god forsaken airport. This will be the first and last time limpeh transit from KL ever again. Limpeh will spare you the details cos limpeh oso dont wanna be reminded of that horrible incident ever again. PUI!!


HongCheebyeKong is ok if you are wearing a nice pair of sneakers and you didnt break your cheeye leg in a cheebye accident that your knee hurts like hell when you walk. The one and only thing limpeh look forward to every morning is the time when we all come back from outside in the night. Yes, that was how bad it is. We would walk, and walk, and walk, and walk somemore the whole fucking day. Yes!! The whole fucking day!! Of cos, the food is nice but if limpeh have to walk so much to enjoy some nice food, limpeh rather starve man.

But the girls don't mind, and so does Sir-Colin-Eats-A-Lot.


smile until like that...must be never eat wanton mee for a long time leow...


Sexy or not?? Can see bua liap leh...


Obviously ah diang was the most happy person on earth because limpeh was by her side almost 23hrs/day. We went Stanley Market and she was overwhelmed by the price of the dey kors that she bought a whopping 10pairs!! she bought 2 for limpeh as well but when limpeh try those dey kor later on, those dey kor appears to be low waist and almost 1/3 of limpeh's butt crack is exposed outside. So limpeh will just framed the dey kors up and keep it as a memo of a lanjiao place visited back in Aug 08. But as long as ah diang is happy, limpeh is happy too!


busy checking which dey kor looks nicer...fuck..wear inside no one can see oso must look nice meh?


smile until like that...must be very long never buy dey kor leow...


Saw some Panerai in HongCheebyeKong but limpeh still can't decide if limpeh is gonna get one. It is not cheap my friend, mind you. And limpeh is not making millions and limpeh is still driving a company car so limpeh have to think properly before limpeh splurge on something. And so, limpeh came back to Singapore with a broken heart but the determination grew. Limpeh will, get limpeh a Panerai soon!!


Disaster struck when we came back to Singapore. Limpeh accidentally dropped limpeh's Marina Militare onto the floor and the Power Reserve hand fell off.





BooHoo...although it is just a great great great grandson of Panerai, limpeh still have some feelings for him one ok. Cos it felt real good when it was sitting on limpeh's wrist when the whole nightmare took place in HongCheebyeKong. Sigh...maybe this is a sign that great great great grandfather is on his way? And oh ya, that watch on top is a present for completing limpeh's pursue of an education level higher than ah diang. It is not easy to get a degree when you are working so one deserve the best when it is duly completed! Limpeh was told that for every achievement, there is a crown. Limpeh thought it means to get limpeh a Carlsberg beer (but limpeh don't drink one leh) but luckily Sir-Colin-Eats-a-Lot told limpeh it is this baby. It is a reward limpeh get for limpehself ok! it is a 116710LN...but the process of getting it wasn't the happiest thing someone would have.


Knowing that limpeh is interested to get a Panerai, Sir-Colin-Eats-A-Lot showed a lot of support to realise limpeh's dream. He brought limpeh here and there to feel the magic of a PAM and gave limpeh numerous number to call. As mentioned earlier, limpeh is just a blue collar worker driving company's car to work, limpeh didnt have much cash to spare. Therefore, asking limpeh to part with that kind of money in cash is like asking Sir-Colin-Eats-a-Lot to throw away his fish and grass or asking ah diang to set Cookie free. It is fucking difficult. So limpeh reckon if limpeh can pay installment for it, limpeh wouldn't feel the pinch so much. So limpeh called Hour Glass and remarkably, they have one PAM 104K to sell!!


You see, Panerai only make a certain amount for certain models to sell every year. Plus the fact they are supplying to the whole world, it is not easy to find a model you like in your neighbourhood friendly horological shop. Since limpeh chanced upon one randomly, limpeh sees it as a sign from heaven and earth that it belongs to limpeh! And so, limpeh pull out limpeh's credit card and give it to the uncle who keep singing praises of how good it look on limpeh wrist. Cheebye, of cos look good, else you think limpeh will wanna make limpeh look like shit meh?


SWEE BOH!!!! My first Panerai!! Woopee!!!


PAM 104K <-- the K here means K series which means it is manufactured in 2008. Not that it cost S$104,000.00. You think limpeh really smuggle heroin to Malaysia? You think they can afford heroin?


116710LN


Trinity, for the time being hehe...


Recent acquisition. Strap culture Legend 2 strap and buckle.


Ok guys, limpeh will continue this again for its time to wack some orders in so that limpeh can get more watches!!!


P/S: Oh by the way, limpeh decided to quit smoking so that limpeh will have more funds to buy watches. Or should limpeh say, limpeh already quit smoking?

02 July 2008

Limpeh: You say you don't have bolster right? Nah..here's a dolphin for you to cuddle to sleep at night..

Limbu: (Delighted) Thanks!!! So cute!!! Muacks!!!





2 days later....


Limbu: Eh..the dolphin you bought for me pai eh...


Limpeh: Huh? Is it? Nevermind, you pass it back to limpeh...Limpeh go and chow gan the shop attendant for selling me a pahlia dolphin...


Limbu: Orh...


Limpeh: But funny leh...limpeh check that time ok leh...bo pai leh...


Limbu: Got lar...it has a hole on top of its head...


Limpeh: ?!?!? THATS THE FREAKING BLOWHOLE LAR!!! ALL DOLPHINS HAVE BLOWHOLE ON THEIR HEAD LAR YOU NEH NEH POK!!!


Limbu: Oh...is it?


Limpeh: Ya lar!!! So if limpeh buy elephant for you, you also gonna tell limpeh, "baby, the elephant pai eh cos they sew its dick on its face leh..."?!?


Limbu: ......

30 May 2008

Limpeh: Eh...limpeh next week going KL for a couple of days to visit customers..


Limbu: Which day? Can I go with you?


Limpeh: Dunno yet, see when boss wants limpeh to go up. You go then what you do when limpeh go see customers?


Limbu: I go roam around lor..


Limpeh: Ok lor...aiya limpeh just go on Monday, don't care leow. Also dunno when boss gonna get back to limpeh.


Limbu: Ok!! Then I apply leave for Monday to Wednesday. Eh, make sure you get your boss to reimburse your hotel payment.


Limpeh: Of course lar! You think limpeh gong one ar? Limpeh gonna stay the best hotel in KL and claim towkay. Lets stay at the Golden Palace of The Horses!!


Limbu: Erm...its Palace of The Golden Horses.


Limpeh: Whatever lar...limpeh chup siao they golden or bronze..so long limpeh go there and get an erection as big as the horses can leow...


Limbu: ......