I've been hearing alot of getting married and renovating and things like that and all of a sudden, i feel like getting married too. Wouldnt it be nice if u can start a family with some whom u wanna spend the rest of ur life with? Of cos, things wont be always looking good. Quarrels and arguements are inevitable, regardless how loving u and ur partner will be. But i guess, where marriage is concern, more tolerant will be shown and more compromises will be made. Why? It would be much more troublesome to go seperate ways than to get together. And the test installed fer u guys will be massive starting from the day u guys decides to get together and call urself "married couple". Not that i'm skeptical about marriage but i think it would really expect alot more than just being couples, especially being chinese. The whole world has to know abt the event, the whole world have to be told abt it. Wat a joke! Ok ok..of cos its a happy occasion to celebrate with ur love ones, who happens to be ur relatives and friends. But a reception is much preferred, than making it a big deal that u have to book the whole soccer field and have 80 tables plus some ge tai stuffs. Mmmkay....its silly. I'll go have my hotcake breakfast now and yak later....ciaos.

This is a joke my friend sent me via email. Some of u might have already seen this one and it might sound like one of our lame Singapore joke. I wont be surprised if someone told me that singapore joke is copy from this one. Anyway this is how it goes....or something like this...

This radio station in the puangtong island was having this word competition,"Come up with a word that cannot be found in the dictionary and form a sentence with it. The best sentence formed stands a chance to win a grand prize to batam island fer 5 days 4 nights". And so, the DJ recieve his first call of the day....

DJ: Hi there...who am i speaking with?
Caller: Joe, this is Joe.
DJ: Ok Joe, wat would ur word be?
Caller: My word would be Goan. Pronounce as Go-An.
DJ: Ok, Goan is not a word found in the dictionary. Tell us ur sentence.
Caller: Ok. I've been wanting to tell u this for a long time punk, Goan fuck urself!!!

DJ was shocked fer a moment, and quickly interuppt the show with a commercial. After a while, the show was resumed and the DJ claims to be having some kinda technical problem and apologised to his audience. He then go on and pick up another call for the word game competition,

DJ: Hello, who am i speaking with?
Caller: This is Kerpal..
DJ: Ok kerpal, wat would ur word be?
Caller: Smee...
DJ: Ok smee is not a word found in the dictionary. So wat would ur sentence be?
Caller: Smee again u punk! Goan fuck urself hahahahahaha!!!!!

:*)

Been listening to this Lonely In Paris by Gloss for the whole day. First saw the MTV on channel 20 and her voice immediately catches my attention. She sound like an over fagged young chick. Her voice's not exactly those clean type, her voice's abit mute. My friend said i took notice of the band becos of the way the chick look like. I've got little or no impression how the chick look like at all till i try to search fer her pics in the web...heres how she look like....

Not exactly ur hotchicks like those two in My Cheeky Girls MTV. Their mother wrote tat cheeky song fer her 2 daughters to sing, can u believe that? Wat touch my bum la this is fun and all the crap. Fucking screwed up family. Anyway i have a hard time looking fer it in MIRC and if not fer June i doubt i'll be able to get mah hands on this damn kewl song hehe. Thanks Juno~ I reckon its becos those pple inside there have no idea wat kinda songs they should listen to. So when one say this song is nice they just get it blindly and go around telling pple,"Hey, i've got this song and it kick ass!". Just becos some hoo haa artist sang it doesnt mean its anywhere near being a great song. Having lotsa listeners doesnt mean it is great too...i've got mah own definitions fer great songs and so do u i believe. But following blindly wat pple listen to is plain zzz and missing a great deal of fun searching fer ur own label of music. Anyway i would recommend some songs to u now and then and u be the judge whether u like it or not. You can keep the comments to urself if u dont like it heheh....u dont have to make me feel that way u feel, nor i have to make u feel the way as i do...just do wat u deem fit ya?

testing testing one two three....i wanna climb the tallest tree...

[17:24] * anyone slaps AhBoy around a bit with a humongous babu singh fish
[17:25] anyone> :")
[17:25] anyone> how man tonite
[17:25] anyone> i wanna take spurs give 1/2 ball leh
[17:26] SDGzZzZzZ> what is 1/2 ball?
[17:27] anyone> meaning u show half ur tits without revealing ur nipples
[17:28] SDGzZzZzZ> .............


Am i sick in the mind or wat? Mah jokes are kinda crude and not to most pple's liking...............mmmkay.....but who cares?!?!? Hahaha....

My friend Jo just won herself a digicam the size of ur atm card and she's all hoo haa abt it. Fulla envious since i've always wanted a digicam to play with. The one mah brother has is too complicated to mah liking. She participate in some kinda lucky draw thing and won herself that. I was never lucky enuff to win anything in lucky draws, not even 4D though i seldom buy(maybe 3-4 times per year). Though i win some marnie from Singapore Pools by betting on soccer, i wont consider that as being lucky since its only 1/3 or 2/3 of a chance to win. I dont believe in pure luck things and i think watever things u want, u have to somehow earn it, instead of just winning it. True, some pple just have better luck than the rest(like those 4 who won the recent 10 millions toto), but most rich and successful pple earn that status thru hard work(maybe plus a little luck but its hardly all becos of it). Bottom line is, dont think u'll be lucky all the time or even sometimes, for it will definitely hinder u from reaching ur goals. Hardwork counts, like being hardworking enuff to fill up all those lucky draw forms that comes in free, like wat Jo did hehe...

Wat are the things u think u should be doing as a grown up? Like my beloved leewee say, "Having sex?". Erm...by having sex with pple doesnt neccessary mean u've already grow up. Ok, u grow up to a certain extent that i agree, but sex has nothing to do with being a grown up. Wat i meant is, wat differentiates urself from ur teenage yrs? The things u do, the places u go, the things u like etc etc. I'm wondering when one ask another to "grow up", wat is he trying to say. Is he trying to tell the other person to be more matured and stop acting like some kids? We all kinda have a rough guide how this grown up suppose to be like, but none can be sure abt how to be a grown up. Some tot by smoking and drinking u can achieve that. Some tot by going to clubs and pubs and spend ur folk's hard earned marnie. Some tot by getting all those branded suits and dress up like someone chauffeur. Its hard to have a clear defination how a grown up has to be. Why this topic all of a sudden? Cos i think, i'ma turning 29 this nov and i think i should start to behave alittle bit more like a grown up. Then i ask myself wat would i be doing after i've become a grown up...and things like that. Not tat i'm really particular abt mahself, just that i feel, some of mah friends shouldnt be doing certain things when they are around mah age. It just mah opinion on the things u shouldnt be doing when u're like one over decade past that age for doing that. Of cos, the bottom line is still as long as u enjoy can leow...i dunno wat i'm toking leow...continue again...

We r the cheeky girls we are the cheeky girls~ u r the cheeky boys u r the cheeky boys~ cheeky cheeky~

Wednesday. Things to whine abt seems to be getting lesser.....monotonous.

I love to come up with crappy brain teaser...

Qns: Wat would u tell Celine Dion should u get to tok to her one day?
Ans: Stop pulling a long face god damnit!!

I'm mean i know...but who cares?

Hey pple out there~ Its Valentine's Day~ Kewl....This day dont really mean much to me till i was like 20? Yeah...had just learn how to play this thing call BBS during mah time in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. First time in mah life i recieved a Valentine's Day gift from someone whom i've not met before. Well, cant really recall her student number but can never forget that nick of hers...leaf. She gave me some chocolates, bundled up and a card she made herself. Dunno where the card go and the chocolates were, well taken care of hehe....Since then, this day, 14th of Feb, became special. I'd recieved something from someone ever since 1994, without fail. Not that i have a gf every year, but its more like pple pity me sorta thing hahahaha....they knew that i would not get anything from someone cos there's no one admiring me or any sort like that. So they gimme something, some sort of a consolation or merely out of friendship, so i wont feel so blue abt it. Well, i've got this sour feeling back then whenever someone get something from someone special and i get none. I yearn fer love, i yearn fer someone to care fer, i yearn fer someone to embrace. I dun really have the balls to tell someone "i like u" or even k siao and get close to em. Oh ya, theres one really close female friend during that time. I like her alot but she seems to only wanna keep me as a friend. Then theres this guy in the same department who's wooing her as well. One fine day he just came up to me while i was having mah lunch in Canteen 4. Shook mah hand and tell me something like "Sorry, but i got the last laugh". Yeah they've become an item. Feel really stupid then. I just pause for a moment, wondering wat was that for. I stop contacting her after that. Avoid places that those two will show up. I tot the ties between the two of us would end too. It didnt till year 2002, or has it? Been draggy all the while. Its much like Forrest Gump and Jenny, very similar, except the part that Jenny had sex with Forrest and gave him little Forrest some years later before she died. I like her alot, but i have never ever take advantage of her, not even a kiss or something like a hug. At most, she only lie on mah thigh or shoulder to get a rest. I dont dare to touch her i wonder why. Sometimes i wish i was bold enuff to do something without seeking her consent. So thats how i spend mah poly days, being a chicken wuss when it comes to expressing mahself.


Army days just zoom pass, without time fer u to stop and find love. Had one gf just before i ORD. But its a crappy relationship so i rather not mention here. The time between getting a job after ORD must be the most havoc time i've ever got. Took 6 mths before i got mahself a job. Was having a great time then. I'm out almost everynite, be it coffee session in nearby coffeeshop or at Forum's CoffeeBean. If not, its MadamWong. Thats how i got to know Fion and later got to know mah first gf, Yvonne. I adore her alot. She's not exactly a beauty, though she constantly think so. Thats mah first ever relationship that i really try to make things work. It didnt. Maintaining a relationship is much harder than wat i picture in the past. It takes alot of perseverence, and i mean ALOT~!!! We broke up after 1 yr and 3+ months. Maybe its the wrong time for her to appreciate me then, afterall she's just 19 and i'm 25. She wasnt sure wat she wants so she's like having lotsa 2nd tots. Something drastic happen so she can break herself away from me, or maybe she made that drastic incident out to make me break away from her. No idea, it doesnt matter now cos i think she's getting ROM this yr or next. Already got herself an executive condo wif her beaut according to mah da si mei.


After that i've got like 3 more gfs but none last fer more than a yr. I dunno why i cant seem to....settle down with someone. Or maybe i wanna settle down but time and luck doesnt allow me to. "You doesnt know wat u want lar", Kelly said. Partially true. You dunno wat u want so u settle for anybody that comes along. Correct. You know wat u want and so u settle with this girl but later u find out the things u want from her, she cant give. So u broke up with her. Correct too. So which is which? Heh...beats me. By now, i cant be bothered with wat i want or who i want. I know there are somethings i dont want, but i cant tell u wat are the things i want. This is not like going to the market, where u can handpick every single item u want and refuse to buy those u dont want. You can only wish and hope, ur partner do things as close as possible to ur liking. You cant exactly have wat u want in mind, but u can learn to compromise and live with wat u've got. Afterall, he or she is going to be there with u fer like 40 yrs or so. And trust me, 40 years is not as long as u tot it is...Last but not least, Happy Valentine's Day to all of u out there who's reading this. I hope i didnt dampen ur mood reading this hehe...

Dishwalla - Angels Or Devils

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time, I will fall
Into a place that fails us all, inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
But fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear, to see

Still I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

If I was to give in, give it up
And then
Take a breath, make it deep
'Cause it might be the last one you get
Be the last one
That could make us cold
You know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

Courtesy of the lovely Miss LeeWee.

Somehow i've forgotten abt why i wanna blog in the first place. I'm adjusting mah way of typing to suit the various readers i have. I've long forgotten its becos i wanna find a place to unwind and whine, freely. I'm self-conscious. I like pple to look at me the way i want them to be looking at me. Anything else other than wat i want is unacceptable, or rather, undesirable. But why do i care so much abt how others look at me? No, only to a few, not all. I wanna keep them as my friends as my life slowly drips away like a candle. But sometimes i think, do they want u as their friend forever as much as u do? Maybe yes, maybe no. Its hard to tell wat pple want sometimes. I dont have the mind of Nostradamus. I cant predict the future. Perhaps living life in a way that pple want isnt as hard as u think, much like life in NS. You do as u're told, nothing more nothing less. In that way u please ur superiors, like how u please ur folks, ur siblings, ur friends, ur enemies. If u have the chance to make someone happy, why not rite? But pple would get use to u pleasing them. And when the time comes, when u feel like pleasing urself once and disrespect ur folk's ur sibling's ur friend's ur enemy's decision, all that things u did in the past to please them have suddenly became redundant and forgotten. Then u dunno why u please them in the first place since it seems to be useless later on. Hence u turn into wat u are now, self centered son of a motherless goat. Then u start going ard pissing pple off. Your folks and siblings give up on u. Your friends left u, Your enemies cant even stand u being an enemy. Then one day, u realise u're so alone, u feel like crying. Nothing came out of ur eyes. You've long forgotten how to cry. You feel so alone and stranded in no mans land. You wonder why are u still around in a world without love and care. U hate urself and u wanna die. But most dont have the balls to do it, some just cant be bothered with life anymore and just pull the trigger. For those who dont have the balls to do it, u realise wat u did becos of a few person is totally wrong. "Izzit too late to turn back and start doing the so call rite thing?", u tot. So u start socialising again and start pleasing pple again to gain love and care in return. Then the whole cycle repeats itself again when someone disregard the things u did fer them in the past. U are running in circles, if u have not notice that yet. Humans disappoint one another. Humans hurts one another. Humans exist for the wrong reasons. World we r living in now, is not neccessary much better than life during the stone age. We are not neccessary going forward in the evolution cycle....

Alrite man~ The weekend has landed~ All that exist now is booze, booze, and more booze~

Jamiroquai - Picture of My Life

I never had a dream that I could follow through
Only tears left to stain, dry my eyes once again
I don't know who I am, or what I'm gonna do
Been so long I've been hopelessly confused
This can never really end, it's infinitely sad
Can someone tell me when
Something good became so bad
So if you have a cure
To me would you please send
A picture of my life
With a letter telling how
it should really be instead

The precipice is there
But will I ever dare
Throw myself in the sky, so at last I can die
See I've become a man
Who holds nothing too dear
Who will mind if I just disappear
This can never really end, it's infinitely sad
Can someone tell me when
Something good became so bad
So if you have a cure
To me would you please send
A picture of my life
With a letter telling how
it should really be instead

Oh, tell me how it really should be

Wow...its been a week ever since i last blogged. Not tat i've got nothing to rant abt, i've got tons. But i'm beginning to be branded a "whiner" so i guess i'll have to stop ranting fer a while. And the results? Nothing to blog about hahaha....i guess mah life's fulla angers and complains and such. Not that i want to, it just happened so. Come to think about it, its pathetic to have a life fulla complains and angers. It simply means that i've got nothing i enjoy doing. Not really so. I feel rejuvenated whenever Lead GuitarLeLe brings me out fer an acoustic session. I feel energized each and everytime i'm outside. I just cant stand facing walls, walls and more walls all day long. I guess i'm someone who yearn fer lotsa space to spread mah wings. Now i'm beginning to understand how the birds feel locked up in a cage. Why give us wings when u cant spread and fly in the first place? There must be a reason for everything that's given to u, its not there just fer just some superficial reasons. Spread ur wings and soar in the bright blue sky~ It might be a little dark and windy at times, but that wont stop me from reaching to greater heights! Heh...wat crap, cant even move around freely now, yet toking abt soaring in the sky...the song i'm listening to now is making me melancholy once again. Mah feelings fer songs are acute. Wat song? Jamiroquai's Picture of My Life, courtesy of cutie June.

So wat have i accomplished this CNY? Nothing much i guess....its my first CNY i didnt get to gamble since i know how to. Not that i'm a fanatic gambler but CNY without gambling is like Xmas without the turkeys. I miss playing mahjong with mah friends though i hate stacking the tiles. Its the company and the things tok abt during the game thats making it so unforgettable. Feel so relaxed even though i end up being the loser most of the time. Nothing special abt this CNY other than i'm out more often than i use to be. Been to further places other than just Yishun and Sembawang, but the things i do are still the same. Drink coffee. Much like having the same crap in different toiletbowls. Hahaha...wat to do? Thats about all i can do now in this current state. Anyway i dont feel like doing anything else with the crowds. Dont wanna invite those curious looks from pple. Anyway puffing away and siping kopi with friends is more than i ever asked fer. Guess i'll stop here. The more i write the more i'm gonna need a puff....till then...

Wah i've just finish a long long chat with mah lead guitarlele hahahaha....i think i'm throwing tantrums at him. Well, i think i did. So sorry about that...just feeling vexed over the couple of days for this CNY shit that everybody's so excited about. Packed the whole house, clear all the rubbish this and that. Imagine how much rubbish u can pile in a year. CNY is all about clearing rubbish and getting new rubbish that u gonna throw next year. We just love throwing and buying rubbish dont we? I hate CNY since i dunno how many yrs ago. I just dont understand why do all the cleaning up once a yr. Maybe i'm lazy lor. I've got sinus and all those rediscovered dust during spring cleaning would make me sneeze non stop till i feel really really sick. And some pple's mind suddenly wander off the things they are doing and start throwing things around cos they dunno wat the fuck they r doing it for. The more things they do in one shot, the more frustrated they get. So why dont u fucking do it now and then? Why do it all at once? Fucking dimwits. It happens every year without fail and still those dimwits and nitwits get frustrated with the things they are doing. Fuck lor, if gonna end up like that i rather u dont pack at all. And they cant fucking stop accusing me. Accused me of this, accused me of that. You dont see with ur own eyes doesnt mean i didnt do it or i did do it. You dont hear from ur own ears doesnt mean i did said it or i did not said it. Why should i be responsible for ur assumptions rite? Try reasoning out with them? Ever try asking why Hitler wanna annihilate the Jewish? U think a DICTATOR gonna tok reasons with u? Fat hope! I've got so much to whine about again but i'll have to stop here....its 6 in the morning and i'm kinda tired from everything....till then..