Been feeling like fuck ever since that nite after bbq. Been trying to talk myself out. Been trying to accept things as it is since last year but its so fucking hard. Been trying to know the world doesnt stop spinning becos of one person but its equally fucking hard as well. Everyfuckthing seems so fucking hard when those beside cha kept reminding you of the things you cant do non fucking stop. Great. Even friends have to be pretentious against one another. You dont fucking care you just fuck care la, why must pretend like you fuck care when is my op? No one really care one la fuck, so just drop it. Drop the whole fucking shit as in when I'm going for the op. You all can just shut the fuck up for all I care. I dont need anyfuckingone to ask me when is my op and how am I handling the whole fucking situation. Get the fuck lost. Go out and have your fucking fun. Leave me afuckinglone. Get the fuck out of my sight in another word. You got more important things to do than to know how the fuck I am doing. I dont need or deserve your fucking sympathy so keep it for your dogs or cats or the motherfucking rats. Fuck, I dont even fucking wanna be your fucking friend. Why the fuck should I? I don't owe you a fucking thing ya? So why not you hear my reason I have for you ya? Here it it.... BECAUSE I WANNA BE AFUCKINGLONE YOU HEARD THAT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS??????? LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BUNCHA SUCK COCK NIGGAS. I FUCKING HATE EVERYONE AND THAT INCLUDES YOU, YOU AND YOU!!!!!! and myself.......

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm gonna sing this at the bbq...I hope...


R.E.M - Losing My Religion

Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

Consider this, consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream

But what life is all about...have you wonder? Have you ever really really wonder?

If a picture paints a thousand words then why can't I paint you? The words will never show, the you I've come to know.
Bread - If

Wanted to write alot of things but the mind doesn't wanna set itself to accomplish it. My nose is falling off like Michael Jackson's. Been sneezing non stop since returning from chow curly's place. The room must be really dusty since no one is staying there. As usual, I've got lotsa things I wanna write but the moment I log into blogger I just forgotten all about it. A bit fucked right? No. Its fucked big time. Oh ya, went Jalan Besar S11 to watch EPL matches on Saturday and guess wat? Sundramoothy sat beside me hahahahha...Ok, no really a big time celebrity but he's really someone back here in Singapore. Whoever dunno who Sundram is gotta be from some village from Southern Province of China. Hmm...maybe the whole China doesnt know who he is. Its really shiok watching soccer with friends, except that I'm the only one shouting and cheering and jeering, but minus the "kepala butohs" and "referee kayu". I suppose everybody have their own ways to enjoy the beautiful game. Perhaps I'm just trying to grab some attention by doing that. Around 10 turned up that night, and I think thats the biggest gathering I had since the accident(minus Irene bday cos I'm not the main event heh). Great night great food great company great atmosphere except its kinda warm. Would be better if its much cooler. Crashed over at chow curly's place after this and I asked Francis over. Havent seen him for quite awhile and he still looks the same, but he seems a little quiet than usual. Maybe its the effect of alcohol. It'd be more fun if he's a little more awake hehe....He drove us to Jalan Kayu for supper but failed to drive us back cos he's too tired. Wanted to snook him for a meal end up we kanna snook back hahahahaha....Then came a girl and he commented that she looks like Theresa. As soon as he finishes his line, chow curly, fion and me all burst into laughters! The previous time I said the same thing when Elaine went over his place for mahjong. Seems like all the girl in the world looks the same hahhaha....

Coming 24th I'm having a bbq at ecp and I have a feeling its gonna be quite grand with over 20 people coming. Lotsa fun and lotsa food we're gonna have! Gonna try riding the bicycle cos I think its gonna be great workout for mah right leg. Shouldn't be a problem paddling and since Ronaldo can do it, so can I~! Mom's back with porridge...time to eat something and get ready to go out soon....ciaos.

No more idea where to dine with your love ones? Try this....

You're Most Like The Season Winter ...

You're often depicted as the cold, distant season.
But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and
Independant. You have an air of power around
you - and that can sometimes scare people off.
You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you
rarely let people in if you can help it. You
can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily
you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be
negative, and hard to relate to, but you give
off a relaxed image despite being insecure -
and secretly many people long to be like you,
not knowing how deep the Winter season really
is.

Well done... You're the most inspirational of
seasons :)


?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla


All good things said about me are true hahahhaha....fuck you!

Cable was dong some maintainance shit today till 4+ so I couldn't surf at all this morning. Did some housekeeping and discovered some pics I took quite sometime back. Since I've got nothing to do so I edited a few and post up here. Its been a while since I took something and post it up with my usual silly captions. Will someone sponsor me a digital camera please? A cheap one with 2 MegPixel will do....thanks. Fuck the optical zoom in and shit like that...I just wanna take some pics...any pics....









fuck....I'm fucking bored..bored bored bored bored bored....

I'm constantly checking mails whenever I've got nothing to do. I can log into my email accounts 4-5 times every 1-2 hrs, only to see some FW mails and those advert shit. When was the last time you got a decent email from someone? What I meant by decent email are things like those snailmail you got from your penpal back in the late 80s and the 90s. Telling you things about how are they doing blah blah blah....Technologies have certainly made alot of things easier, but its not neccessarily shortening distances between love ones and friends. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. Just look at your mailbox....hundreds of emails, but how many touches you because someone took the effort to write you something? Most of them just click the FORWARD button and insert the FORWARD GROUP addresses so it means you're sharing something with your friends. Its mean you're staying in touch with people you dont see everyday. This is such a sad thing to do. You keep in touch with friends by doing this. Someone told me it doesnt matter if those friend whom you don't regard as "can click very well" dont jio you out cos probably you rather they didnt jio you in the first place cos you guys dont click very well. Right. So I guess its redundant for these people to keep in touch with you by means of forwarding emails to you as well.

I've got an idea from both mah friends who exchanged hp recently. She would entertain his friends and he would entertain hers. I feel like forsaking my email account totally and starting a new one, with less advertising shit and FW mails. But why I want an email account for if I dont plan to give pple my email address? Maybe I'll just give those I think worth keeping in touch. But how to determine? I'm just one call away from them. Life is so contradicting. I guess emails are only useful for those who doesnt wanna spend money on trunk calls and keep in touch with people oversea. But now there are programs like ICQ and MIRC for people to chat regardless where they are. All they need is a computer, an internet connection and the respective software. But then again, different timezone might be a headache. So you come back to square one, emails. But having all the above happening at one single time is quite impossible. Most of my friends would sacrifice sleep over time and money sake. Meaning to say, they will wait for that person to come online, whichever way is more convenient. So again we're left with the "emails are redundant" question. Are emails really redundant? Ask yourself, are your emails working like it use to be? Since when opening up emails are just plain old reading it, laugh about it, wank over it, forwarding it and then deleting it? I miss the days of having unix emails where there are no such things about exchanging hp numbers. All we can do is exchanging pager and home numbers, which are quite rare. The only way keeping in touch is emailing one another. I used to be so excited whenever I'm opening my mailbox, but now? Opening email is a sickening thing to do.

Lately everyone is crazy over this Friendster shit. The guys are excited over it becos you get to see all the chio bu pics in it, likewise for the girls I guess. But fuck lar...so what if you see a pretty girl and send her a msg? Stupid, like its gonna make a whole big fucking difference to your life. The probability of someone putting up a fake pic is still very high. So what you gonna do if you fall in love with the illusion he/she created for you? Dying to meet up with the person? Meet leow get disappointed because you found out you're inlove with an illusion? Its just like any chat program where getting decieved is like changing your underwear. Its still that same fucking piece of shit floating on a different toiletbowl you buncha nitwits. Get real and start looking elsewhere for someone to wank for you instead of looking at the pictures and wank yourself. But looking at the testimonials your friends gave you can be quite interesting though you know its all bias. But moral of the story here is....FRIENDSTER IS A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME YOU BUNCHA DUMBFUCKS, STOP WASTING YOUR TIME LOOKING AT THE PICTURES AND GIVE THE ONES BESIDE YOU SOME LOVING AND CARING YOU FUCKING NINCOMPOOPS~!!!!! This friendster hype shit is getting on my nerves every now and then....gimme more testimonials and I'll try to overlook the matter...

Ahh...tired tired tired after just one nite of mahjong. Went over to cabbage's place fer mahjong and soccer on Saturday at 7pm, played mahjong till 8am next morning and had dim sum at sinming. Its been awhile since I did something like that and I'm totally shacked out! Reached home 10am on Sunday, slept till 6pm then concussed again at 12am till 12pm today. Fucking tired...am I really getting old? Nah...just need sometime to get use to it I guess. Everything's only about getting used to niah. Even till now I'm still tired..fuck siah... Ok, what's the event for this week? Tomorrow catching the movie Underworld at my favourite cinema Shaw Balestier~ Wednesday going for KTV at Party World~ Yay~ What about the rest of the week? Beats me...I'm too tired to even think of it now....tomorrow then see how....Zzz....

This is by far, the most brilliant article I've ever read. I dont read much, but this article just touches me deep inside. I hope you guys will read it again and again, and realise certain things in life thru what you've read. I can't recall who's the author but I know he used to be a comedian who just died recently. This is really enriching. Enjoy guys.....

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

So what you think? True? Why do we need people to tell us things thats happening around us to realise what is true or not? We have the same kinda senses don't we? Why can't we realised things ourselves? This is really sad. I feel like I'm the author of this article but I couldn't have expressed myself as well as him using words. Depressed. Its sometimes a bliss to be ignorant. Sometimes I just wish I won't know how things function. Sometimes I just wish I've never existed at all.

Been walking alot alot these days and you can really feel the different after every session. Groin and knee cap hurts abit but still bearable. Its so shiok to be walking again and I cant seems to get enuff of walking after sitting around fer so fucking long. I really miss walking along with friends. I use to walk so much when I was courting someone. Would walk her all the way back from Orchard Cineplex to her place at Tiong Bahru. Even after we're together we still walk alot! walk from Tiong Bahru to Holland V then back. Fuck....I wish I can walk this much now. Anyway the moral of the story here is: Don't take walking for granted. Don't complain about the distance you need to walk. Be glad you can still walk.

I dont have a digicam to take pictures anymore so I'll just post some pictures I got from mah emails and show you guys. Only those I think is funny will make it in mah blog anyway hehehehe....so here you go~











Dang...I'm starting to miss fifi....fifi where are you~~~~

This is one fugging nice song~ Hahahha...YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!!!!!!



Ah yap dig out a pic that was taken in year 1996 july..our graduation pic. Can you figure out which one is me? I think its fucking obvious hahahahaha......



I wonder where the fuck is my diploma.....hmm...