Hello everybirdie again!! Guess who is back, back again~ Limpeh's back, to chow gan again~ What is it this time? What else but Ris Low, the Ex Miss Singapore who was caught swiping other people's credit card.


Limpeh was actually quite reluctant to talk about her cos limpeh thinks she doesnt deserve that much attention. but when limpeh heard her interview on 938 live on radio one morning on my way to work, limpeh's fire suddenly soar at least eighteen storeys high. Kan nin nan, shes talk like one chow ah lian you know? How the fuck did such chow ah lian become Miss Singapore?!?! Don't tell me Singapore girls see liao liao (死光光), must send this kind of kar siao to sia suay us to the whole world? Limpeh think the judges oso got a part to play lar...really wanna ask them what is their judging criteria...izzit got neh got kar chng can already.


The thing here is, we are not saints and will definitely make mistakes in our lives. Don't tell limpeh you never steal eraser or mechanical pencil at Oriental Emporium or Yaohan before!! Of cos, we will not admit we did that before if no one ask or no one knows. But when someone pitchiak your lobang and you calmly say it is no big deal and it is not a crime because never go into jail then it is damn stupid already. It is fucking stupid la...kanna caught already must use this opportunity and show people you are trying to repent and get on with life and hope everybody can support you and give you a chance to deal with that sick and rotten part in the brain. Like that most likely people will pang chan...If someone do wrong things limpeh can still forgive but if you do wrong things and behave like chow ah lian plus continuously showing your stupidity then limpeh cannot forgive leow. But then again, all chow ah lians are stupid so limpeh guess she is just being herself. But limpeh is still fucking buay song so limpeh have to give her a piece of my mind....



Paiseh hor to the 2 ah nia beside...limpeh helped cover your eyes leow so you don't have to sia suay with the chow ah lian in the center...


and to the judges, free please go Chinatown and ask those ah po sitting by the roadside to orr your hee sai and wipe away your bark sai cos you cheebyes are the reason why this became international news. It is because of your lousy judging skills that chow ah lian became Miss Singapore. If chow ah lian can become Miss Singapore, then my friend below can become Manhunt Singapore leow!!

Hello everybirdie!! Its limpeh again and today limpeh feel like chow gan Singaporean again.


Mr Curry Png and Miss Number Two (Number One is Zoe Tay) got married 2 days ago and created quite a big hoohaa. Limpeh guess its like that one lar...people angmo gao got what we cheena biang also do what. And so, both of them got together a whole bunch of brothers and sisters and reporters and the right and the wrong people just to act as if they are damn popular. Sure, limpeh can do that too when limpeh get married, just have to go Tanjong Pagar earlier to pick up as many bangladeshi lads as possible to make up the numbers...


The event was covered on local tabloid papers like 联合晚报 and 新民日报 for 3 consecutive days with nothing but how much the couple spent and who attended and how much angbao was given to get Miss Number Two and how Mr Curry Png wants to take care of the Miss Number Two torso (下半身). Limpeh just don't understand why the locals like to comment on what they should and should not do or what Huang Na's mother should and should not do with the money ah der (猪) and ah gao (狗) donated. What the fuck has it gotta do with you? Mind your own fucking business and take care of your son's and daughter's wedding will do and recognise the fact that DOESN'T MEAN YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING MONEY TO THROW A MEGA BANQUET/PARTY THEN THOSE WHO HAVE THE ABILITY CANNOT DO IT, YOU CHEEBYES!!!!!!




So get a grip and lets wish Mr Curry Png and Miss Number Two to live happily ever after together and have many many kids in near future. Lets hope Mr Curry Png also got sperms with tail as strong as the great white shark like limpeh's good friend who just celebrated his twin sons one month shower party 2 weeks ago. Shiok leh! One shot strikes 2 eggs...no wonder his laopeh call him ah Zoon...really damn zoon...


So the last last weekend was a crazy weekend cos limpeh attended 2 shower parties and a one year old party. All in all, limpeh attended 4 parties in September! Guess its like that...just 4 - 5 years ago, it was non-stop weddings and 4 - 5 years later, it is non-stop shower parties zzz...and ah diang was damn happy to give business to her friend who make diaper cakes. Erm, using unused diapers and wrap it and wala, it turns into a cake. Or rather, it looks like one. Dont be mistaken as giving the thing inside the diaper after Rui Yang wears it for a day.



This was for the twins, Calum and Calius, limpeh think thats how you spell their name...pronounce it as Kay-Lerm and Kay-Lers..heng not triplets else the 3rd one will call Cachelle...which limpeh is very sure that you know how to pronounce it...



This was for Sherrie!! Limpeh had a picture of her in my arms but its in ah diang's handphone so you dont have a chance to see how cute that little girl is hurhur...too bad!



This is for Evienne, think thats how you spell her name. Paiseh hor if limpeh spell wrongly cos limpeh very bad with english names. When ah diang commented Ah Chua looks like Justice Bao, limpeh still have to take awhile to think who the fuck is Justice Bao.



This is limpeh's wrist shot! Swee bo!!! the house behind me is Janice's house..swee boh!!



This was ah diang's wrist shot 1 week ago..



This is ah diang's wrist shot last night!! Now ah diang has become Claudia Schiffer leow!! Mai siao siao!!


And so, that marks the end of 2009 3rd quater. Fucking fast isn't it? 3 more months to go and gonna take bonus already wooohooo!!!!! So the moral of this post is, time and tide waits for no man so those wanna chua bor one faster chua, those wanna seeee kia one faster seeee and those wanna comment on people's dai ji one all go hor gao gan...

Another day facing people of 陈水欠扁.....oh sorry, limpeh mean 马英等旧旧就有....




And so, she asked.....

Dear Tan,

Thanks for your quotation. P/N: MS15-062 can meet our need. Please confirm and reply me one by one as below:

1.Description: 0.062 WT is equal to thickness ?

2.Quantity from our need :120m(395ft) ~210m(690ft)

3.Please offer the CIF to Taiwan price for us.

4.Could you explain "7% GST" ? EXWork price need to add "7% GST" additional ?

5.We can't accept the random length. We accept 6 M/ per piece only, but we can accept the the tolerance. Pleaes offer the tolerance

6.When we order , you can't refuse our order.




Which limpeh answered......

Dear Level Xu,<--(her name is really LeveL!! no bluff!!)

1. Yes, the wall thickness is 0.062”.

2. Yes, hence limpeh quoted you the max amount of 210m(690ft). You can place your order between 120m – 210m and the price remains the same.

3. We will advise this later.

4. Please ignore GST 7% as this is only applicable to domestic sales.

5. If you can only accept 6M length, lead time for tubing will be 14 - 16 weeks ARO.

6. Sorry, limpeh don’t understand bad english.

Hello everybirdie!!! Its limpeh again and limpeh is very happy to be able to blog again cos limpeh finished clearing limpeh's morning emails in 4 hours!! So now limpeh got a few mins to rest before starting limpeh's afternoon emails. Hectic right?


Limpeh was telling Sir-Colin-Eats-A-Lot 2 days ago that limpeh's life was so different in the past. Limpeh rememebers that limpeh used to reach home before 7pm and sit on mom's bed and air limpeh's 蛋蛋 while watching tv with her. And on weekends, limpeh would either take a trip to vist Yap Brothers at that what Ubi place or visit JL SIm Lim the audio shop down at Serangoon Gardens before meeting Puss or Tim for a drink at wherever the wind takes us. Those were the days!!! Then Sir-Colin-Eats-A-Lot reminded me that these did not happen very long ago, probably just 1-1/2 to 2 years ago. Only then limpeh realised time crept quietly passed limpeh...


Before limpeh know, limpeh was rushing for assignments after assignments then exams then assignments again. Limpeh thought things were slowing down after limpeh's last paper but hell no!!! It got even more busy!! Limpeh started driving up to KL every now and then. When limpeh's boss told limpeh to hand over the Malaysia account to my colleague, limpeh thought ho seh leow!! Limpeh gonna sit inside office to kiao kar yeo lumpa leow but hell no!!! Now limpeh have to travel to countries like Vietnam, China, Philippines, Brunei and even India, Pakistan and god knows where!! But nevermind, it has not happen yet so limpeh still got time to kiao kar yeo lumpa but hell no!!! Ah diang dying to marry me and ask me to start looking for venues to get married!!! Oh my god!!!


So had to start searching high and low for the best deal in town and most importantly, places that ah diang likes. She's not the easiest person to please because she watched many Friends episodes and wanted to be like Rachel, Monica and one-more-but-limpeh-forgot-her-name who said, "we women have been dreaming of this day to come ever since we were born!" . She actually thinks this is so real plus being a Virgo, she wants her wedding to be perfect!! This is the beginning of limpeh's nightmare. The first weekend we spent checking out hotels cost limpeh S$24.82 including GST. Fuck siah!! We merely visited 3 hotels. So next round we kiang already! We make appointment first so that can get complimentary parking coupon from them whahahahahaha!! So shiok to park in town for free!!! Limpeh will do another entry on limpeh's wedding venues hunting adventure again when limpeh is more free so lets not talk so much on this first.


While searching for the right location, limpeh have been attending Alpha Course to learn about why Jesus dies for us and how much Jesus loves us and how much he wants us to be closer to his father, God, etc. While doing this, limpeh have been attending sunday service with ah diang. Sunday service was not that bad except for the constant standing up, sitting down, standing up again, sitting down again and occasional boring speakers. The worse part is the waking up early in the morning!!!



Apart from this, there are a lot of baby popping during this period for no apparant reason so limpeh got a lot of birthdays and one month showers to attend to. All of a sudden, limpeh got so many kangtaos to jote down so limpeh realise why some ah der and ah gao wants a PDA phone so that they can remember when and which ah long's money they need to return before they go splash paint on his/her door.


So which PDA phone should limpeh get? One that is sleek and can help limpeh organize limpeh's time?





Mom is playing bowling on her Iphone 3GS, should limpeh get one as well?

Hello eberybirdie again!! Limpeh is finding more and more time to blog nowadays cos this world got a lot stupid murthafarkers that need limpeh to take pictures to show them that they are always wrong and limpeh is always right hahahaa!! But if dont have these stupid matharfarkers then limpeh wont find the chance to upload pictures in limpeh's phone and you all wont get to see limpeh blog leow so you have to thank this stupid matharfarker below


This stupid murthafarker sent limpeh this today:


From: PT. Stupit Martha Farkers of East Java
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 1:56 PM
To: limpeh@WaSeeLinLaoPeh.com.sg
Cc: Alfred Stupit .PITA (Pain In The Arse)
Subject: Non Conformity Report (PO# blah blah blah)

Dear Limpeh,

We have received the goods, after checked by our QC personal, they found 9ea were cracked and they rejected its.

Due to above reason, please your consideration to give us the replacement items for the rejected?

We are waiting for your immediate response.

Thanks & Best Regards,
Jeremy Stupit Martha Farker
Procurement Department
PT. Stupit Martha Farkers of The East Java


Limpeh is not talking about their bloken engrish cos limpeh's engrish also quite bloken. What limpeh is trying to say is this. Picture yourself buying a really nice looking pair of Mont Blanc cuff links online from an authorised distributor. You later on tell that distributor that your mom found that there are some cracks on the cuff links and want them to replace you with a new pair. What do you think the distributor will do? What do you think you would do?



YOU TAKE SOME FUCKING PICTURES TO PROVE YOUR POINT, RIGHT?!??!?! Never show limpeh anything and you expect limpeh gong gong replace you ar? Limpeh not like you cheebyes who will just "oh...ok lor. replace them with 9pcs of US$463.24 each adapters.." just because it is ah gong's money. Limpeh can't do that because limpeh's petrol is not subsidised by Petronas so limpeh have to work hard for the money and not replace parts just because of whatever you say. Show limpeh the crack limpeh will replace you lar...cheebye one leh...now limpeh have to waste 1 min to reply your stupid email and request you politely to show limpeh the cracks. Why can't you just show limpeh in the first place. Wu call leng limpeh replace you just because you say crack bo? Go fucking think lar cheebye...


Ok, limpeh must cool down because as long as Petronas continues to produce oil, stupid matharfarkers will never cease producing more stupid matharfarkers. Limpeh will cool down and make limpeh a nice cuppa meelok (Ah diang calls it Milo) to drink. But before limpeh go..the usual pictures to brighten up your day....



Limpeh sleeping with sharkey. Sharkey cute bo?



Woke up fucking early one of the Sunday's morning so that ah diang can go run 5km marathon around Marina Square. Can you spot tio ah diang? Knnz...go there run and run around your house got difference meh?

How is eberybirdie man! Its been so so long since limpeh blogged. Think no one bother oso lar...Anyway limpeh is still the same...can sit on the bed and air limpeh's balls while watching lizards fuck on the ceiling limpeh happy leow. Blog? MALA WU ENG!!

But then again, so much had happened so limpeh thought limpeh can update you fuggers a bit. First of all, let limpeh see where limpeh had stopped blogging.

Oh..since 16th March...that is not very long ago. Only 4 months plus. Lets see what limpeh have in limpeh's picture folder...Actually limpeh is pretty sleepy now...so pardon limpeh's jit dey jit dey sentences...

First of all, someone got himself into shit!!! Wahahahaha...erm...ok ok, sorry. Marriage is a good thing because it injects responsibilities into people, making them more matured. Now, limpeh is not saying ah diang is immatured so dont mistaken limpeh. But limpeh is happy to see him finally settled down.


Ah diang is damn happy that day but someone forgot to turn on the flash..




Ya lar...told you on the flash better leow you goonz....


It is quite surreal to see friends whom you know for 15+ years get married. Limpeh can still recall how we used to chor dai dee at Atrium and eat Swensen's ice cream cake in Pasir Ris chalet back in the 90s. Unbelievable..limpeh is actually witnessing limpeh's friend becoming adults!! But there are some things that do no change...puss is still having that sleepy look while russ still look very much like MM Lee to me.



Then limpeh had to go up to Terengganu to settle some fire hose issue. Limpeh oso cannot remember the exact dat except that it was during Ramadan where most food stalls were not open so we had to buy, cook and eat maggie mee at the nearby petrol kiosk. Best of all, the bloody maggie mee bo taste one!!! Someone forgot to add salt to it...We had to work under the hot sun and only get to eat tasteless maggie mee at petrol kiosk...thats why limpeh always tell people limpeh is a hao xiao manager cause limpeh simi lan oso must do...




Alvin demostrating how chum he is...



Then it was limpeh's graduation which limpeh thought was a waste of money attending. Limpeh had to sit there for 2-3 hrs and listen to bullshit before limpeh go up the stage to take the scroll and shake ah diang's hand and then listen to more bullshit before proceeding for the buffet. So what is the moral of the story? Limpeh's theory of "Academic competency does not prove that you are more capable than others" is proven right because limpeh this kind of kar siao (means calibre) oso can get it, what makes you think those selling chicken rice or pig intestine soup cannot? Read my engrish, you think the professor can understand?



Degree is hao siao one lar (sorry Shuling! :P). Somemore recently got 2 private schools close down cause they give fake certs and degrees...cheebye..this kind of people also have..told you long long ago to download your degree at www.download-a-degree.com you dont listen, pay people tens of thousands of dollars to download for you. ORRBEEGOOD!!!





Stomach hungry leow...can someone finish this shit so that limpeh can go outside and wack the food?



Then it was to Turi Beach at Batam. Lovely place and exceptional experience on our first night there. We stayed in a hut near the beach and it rained T-rex and Mammoth in the middle of the night. The thunder caused the power to trip and we thought our hut was gonna washed away by the waves. Luckily for us, nothing happened except for the mosquitoes attack in the night. Imagine us waking up in the middle of the night to swap mosquitoes. Thought this will only happen in Tekong..




Swee boh! Ok lar..this is one of the nicer beach limpeh have been to..





Evidence of the midnight tassle with Mr Yeeeee...yeee...yeeee.....mosquito.




Which of cos, we won. Die mosquito!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ok, think limpeh will stop here for the time being. Customer coming to see limpeh so limpeh go sell them some shit they dont need and make some money to pay some bloodsuckersssss...

Two dumbfucks who thought Watchmen means Men who wear watches, a perfect demostration of what Nincompoops are capable of.

Limpeh call her bee because she is bery chubee. Why is she bery chubee? Because she claims that she doesn't understand bad english and the only thing limpeh cannot speak is good english. But sometimes, limpeh tiao kang listurb her and speak bad english so that she will jump and kiew goon(cringe). It is bery fun to see her kiew goon cos limpeh finds it very chubee. This is why limpeh call her bee.

limbu: how are you feeling today?

limpeh: much better...can sing song leow..

limbu: that's great! but you not fully recovered yet?

limpeh: still got lao abit peechwee

limbu: I see..when you are well, lets go watch marley and me! that is a must watch!

limpeh: orr...


After 20mins...

limbu: am suppose to attend a memorial today...for the husband of my ex-colleague but not sure if i can make it

limpeh: if cannot make it then dont go lor...lets go catch barney and me instead

limbu: ??????

limpeh: why? you wanna watch barney and me rite? whats so nice watching a purple dinosaur...thought thats for kids...

limbu: MARLEY!!!! MARLEY & ME!!!!

limpeh: ok ok...don't get so excited...

limbu: GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Limbu: So where are we going later? The night is still young leh..


Limpeh: Go Mandai lim kopi lor....near near and cheap cheap..


Limbu: Don't want lar...everytime we got no plans we would go there..can you be more creative?


Limpeh: Ok lor..we go Selegie pak pool lor...


Limbu: Selegie? Where is Selegie? Is it near Seletar?


Limpeh: ....Then is Yio Chu Kang just next to Choa Chu Kang? Or Lokyang is just a street across to Loyang?


Limbu: .....I neber heard of Lokyang...did you make that up?


Limpeh: Aiya...Remember that place limpeh told you Tim ate the Nasi Bryani then next day ask limpeh got laosai or not cos he lao the whole night? The pool place is just behind lar...


Limbu: Oh that place...but I remember last time we went there, the queue was damn long..


Limpeh: ?? Simi cue was damn long? Cues all got standard length one what..the most also 1-2 cm difference..


Limbu: .....THE QUEUE LAR!!! LINE UP ONE BY ONE THOSE KIND OF QUEUE LAR!!


Limpeh: Oh...limpeh thought you so kiang, the cue damn long you also can tell...limpeh pak so many years also cannot tell...


Limbu: .....

As you fuggers know, limpeh got 2 kittens cats at home and limpeh's mother has been taking care of their shit and pee for almost a year now. What do limpeh mean when limpeh say take care of their shit and pee? You see, domestic cats are trained to do their business in one little basin call peetray that has catsand in it. When cats pee, these catsand will clog up into a chunk to trap all the pee and all you have to do is to scoop and throw downstairs. Likewise when they pangsai.


But limpeh's mother's back is not that good because long long time ago, the only milk she can find in the market is only soya milk and not Anlene so her ba jiak goot is not as strong as Michelle Yeo. Since her ba jiak goot is not so strong, she finds it hard to bend down to scoop those chunk of catsand and throw downstairs. Limpeh's limbu try to score points with limpeh's mother and suggested from now on, limpeh will throw the catsand chunk downstairs. Limpeh of cos not happy lar! Everyday in office must wipe customer's backside still not enuff, come back still must clear the things that come out from the cats backside. Where got time!!


So limpeh said, if limpeh have to do that, limpeh tomorrow will bring the 2 cats and set them free at Bukit Batok park. Below was how the conversation went...


Mother: 你如果把他们放掉，我就把你抓去光明山放掉！

Limpeh: 我长大了。。现在轮到我把你放掉。。因为你连 takesee 都不会搭。

Mother: 。。。。

Limpeh: 你会跟 takesee uncle 说...“takesee uncle,可以载我回家吗？”then takesee uncle 会说... “你住在哪里？”then 你说...“在我弟弟隔壁(my uncle stays next door)” then takesee uncle 会说... “那你弟弟住哪里？”then 你说...“他住靠近电梯啰！”

Mother: 。。。。。。现在很厉害了哦！

Limpeh: 不会啦。。。骗吃骗吃而已。。