30 September 2005
Sometimes, I wonder, how smart am I. I think I'm pretty smart, in a sense. So what you guys think? Since you people know me fer quite awhile already.
On a scale of 10, where 1 would be "he is very stupid", 5 would be "he's ok" and 10 would be "he is very smart", where would you put me in? I would say, 7 maybe. What would be your humble opinion of me? Don't worry, this is not a trick question. I won't rape your pet if your answer is below 5. Just answer me truthfully.
I really hate my quick-wittedness sometimes. I really hate that ability to pinpoint things in such detailed fashion. I hate that ability to see things in different angles. I hate that ability to solve complex equations. I hate that ability to talk and charm people. In short, I'm beginning to hate myself.
Is ignorance really a bliss? I used to think thats a fucking spastic consolation inane mofos gave themselves. But now...FUCK!! I'm beginning to think the answer is a big fucking YES!! Its a fucking bliss when you are just an average Joe or simple-minded Alfred.
My life is like rollercoaster ride, except that I don't know when it'd stop. Actually, we are all blindfolded on a roller coaster ride that'll only end when you're tossed out of it. Why blindfolded then? Cos usually we won't know when we are plunging until we begin to feel lighter. That is what most of us are going thru. But you know what? I always try to act smart. I remove my blindfold just to fucking see when I'm plunging and that anticipation lowered my adrenaline rush compared to those who are blindfolded. Too cheem to understand?
What I am trying to say is, I have the ability to see what is coming, and anticipate what are the things that are going to happen next. When I do that, I forgotten all about enjoying while the process is still on-going. It might appear to you as a good thing, but its not to me. I wanna enjoy the thrill of the ride, and in order to do so, I must not be able to see and predict what is coming. But I have the tendency of removing my blindfold and find out when is the next plunge. In another word, I always pitjiak my own lobang. I always spoil my own fun when I found out what is next. Fuck.
Its almost 4 now, I hope I'll be dumber when I get out of bed later on. But how to fall asleep at this moment is the main issue now...
On a scale of 10, where 1 would be "he is very stupid", 5 would be "he's ok" and 10 would be "he is very smart", where would you put me in? I would say, 7 maybe. What would be your humble opinion of me? Don't worry, this is not a trick question. I won't rape your pet if your answer is below 5. Just answer me truthfully.
I really hate my quick-wittedness sometimes. I really hate that ability to pinpoint things in such detailed fashion. I hate that ability to see things in different angles. I hate that ability to solve complex equations. I hate that ability to talk and charm people. In short, I'm beginning to hate myself.
Is ignorance really a bliss? I used to think thats a fucking spastic consolation inane mofos gave themselves. But now...FUCK!! I'm beginning to think the answer is a big fucking YES!! Its a fucking bliss when you are just an average Joe or simple-minded Alfred.
My life is like rollercoaster ride, except that I don't know when it'd stop. Actually, we are all blindfolded on a roller coaster ride that'll only end when you're tossed out of it. Why blindfolded then? Cos usually we won't know when we are plunging until we begin to feel lighter. That is what most of us are going thru. But you know what? I always try to act smart. I remove my blindfold just to fucking see when I'm plunging and that anticipation lowered my adrenaline rush compared to those who are blindfolded. Too cheem to understand?
What I am trying to say is, I have the ability to see what is coming, and anticipate what are the things that are going to happen next. When I do that, I forgotten all about enjoying while the process is still on-going. It might appear to you as a good thing, but its not to me. I wanna enjoy the thrill of the ride, and in order to do so, I must not be able to see and predict what is coming. But I have the tendency of removing my blindfold and find out when is the next plunge. In another word, I always pitjiak my own lobang. I always spoil my own fun when I found out what is next. Fuck.
Its almost 4 now, I hope I'll be dumber when I get out of bed later on. But how to fall asleep at this moment is the main issue now...
27 September 2005
Ok, I'm ready to blog again and hope this time those fuckers will publish me post. YOU HEAR ME, FUCKERS!!!! YOU BETTER PUBLISH MY POST THIS TIME OR I'LL ANAL RAPE YOU SO MANY TIMES THAT YOU WONT EVEN REMEMBER YOUR SURNAME!!!
As I was saying YESTERDAY, have you people heard of this verse "男人不坏，女人不爱"? Look at me...
Such a decent, dashing, charismatic fine young man, how come I'm not attached? The reason is, I'm not paikia enough for girls to fall in love with. Most girls have a caring, motherly nature in them and subconsciously, they think they are endowed with great powers to change a person(especially paikias). They think they can easily turn paikias into ho kias with this power call "LOVE"(ya right!). Hence, I can conclude that in order for girls to fall in love with me, I must have that really really really paikia look.
But how?
Ok, I can find the bestest plastic surgeon in Singapore and have him turn me into Edison Chen lookalike. This bugger is the best example of how a paikia should look like....take a closer look...
Fucking paikia right!! But sad to say, I dont have that kinda money to transform my face into that so I guess I'll have to find a cheaper alternative. Well, I can go 77th Street to get a pair of cheapo shades that only cost $3! Very affordable eh? Ok...lets see how I'd look with a pair of shades...
Wooooooo!! Not bad...not bad at all. Ok, thats a bloody good first step.
What should I do after this? Tattoo!! Yeah man...every paikia have one or more tattoos on them. I can get free tattoo actually. There is one place near Nee Soon Camp where they will tattoo an eagle standing on a globe for you, absolutely free! I guess not many heard of this. An eagle standing on a globe is a tattoo that only members from a certain triad can have. Of cos I can't get that, though its free. I don't wanna kanna chop while eating in coffeeshops. Guess I'll have to fork out more money and go Johnny Two Thumb for my tattoo. I should look like this after getting my tattoo...
Nice bo? Look like pirate bo? Hurhur...next, I gotta get a scar on me face to make myself look as though I went thru alot of shit. Since I don't have the balls to slash meself on the face, I'll get jiaos to do it for me.
But why jiaos?
Simply because that fucker fight like a guniang when provoked. He'd use his fingernails and scratch your face when you make him really really pissed. And the only way to make him really really pissed, is to display pictures of him during those hell days in Ngeeann....
That should do it! Too small to see properly? Of cos cannot you guys see too clearly else jiaos will burst my balls for sure. With these 2 pictures, I'm sure jiaos will be damn pissed with me that he'll come scratch my face tonight. Anyway he has always been jealous that I look so much better than him so I'm sure he'll be more than happy to gimme the nick name "Scarface"....
Ok...we are almost done with that bad ass transformation.
Since paikias are always busy doing pai thai chee(bad stuffs), I doubt they have time to shave. Anyway I'm pretty tired with my clean shaven face so I guess I'll stop shaving and have stubbles. Having that is sexy leh...though it'd be uncomfortable if you rub ur face on your girlfriend's tits. Don't know how it'd feel? Try rubbing a piece of sandpaper on your asscheeks and see how it feels like...
Ok...lets take a final look after that complete paikia transformation...I should look somewhat like this....
How? Nice bo? Can bo? Hurhur...I can see some of you drooling over my new makeover look leow wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahaha!! Ok...you are not. Fuck...I'm so bo liao right? Ya..cos I'm really bo liao...ok lets see how I'll look if I dont shave for 6 months..I'll most probably look like this....
Hi, my name is Oninama Bin Kaninaden
Mmm see sian meh~~~~ Eh...I better save this before limpeh click publish post...
Hey, wadaya know? Maybe I'll star in the next Pirates Of The Carribbean, taking over Johnny Depp wahahahaha~ The latter can do another kids movie and maybe can call it, Charlie And The White-Chocolate Factory this time....
Courtesy of KS hehehehehehe...
As I was saying YESTERDAY, have you people heard of this verse "男人不坏，女人不爱"? Look at me...
Such a decent, dashing, charismatic fine young man, how come I'm not attached? The reason is, I'm not paikia enough for girls to fall in love with. Most girls have a caring, motherly nature in them and subconsciously, they think they are endowed with great powers to change a person(especially paikias). They think they can easily turn paikias into ho kias with this power call "LOVE"(ya right!). Hence, I can conclude that in order for girls to fall in love with me, I must have that really really really paikia look.
But how?
Ok, I can find the bestest plastic surgeon in Singapore and have him turn me into Edison Chen lookalike. This bugger is the best example of how a paikia should look like....take a closer look...
Fucking paikia right!! But sad to say, I dont have that kinda money to transform my face into that so I guess I'll have to find a cheaper alternative. Well, I can go 77th Street to get a pair of cheapo shades that only cost $3! Very affordable eh? Ok...lets see how I'd look with a pair of shades...
Wooooooo!! Not bad...not bad at all. Ok, thats a bloody good first step.
What should I do after this? Tattoo!! Yeah man...every paikia have one or more tattoos on them. I can get free tattoo actually. There is one place near Nee Soon Camp where they will tattoo an eagle standing on a globe for you, absolutely free! I guess not many heard of this. An eagle standing on a globe is a tattoo that only members from a certain triad can have. Of cos I can't get that, though its free. I don't wanna kanna chop while eating in coffeeshops. Guess I'll have to fork out more money and go Johnny Two Thumb for my tattoo. I should look like this after getting my tattoo...
Nice bo? Look like pirate bo? Hurhur...next, I gotta get a scar on me face to make myself look as though I went thru alot of shit. Since I don't have the balls to slash meself on the face, I'll get jiaos to do it for me.
But why jiaos?
Simply because that fucker fight like a guniang when provoked. He'd use his fingernails and scratch your face when you make him really really pissed. And the only way to make him really really pissed, is to display pictures of him during those hell days in Ngeeann....
That should do it! Too small to see properly? Of cos cannot you guys see too clearly else jiaos will burst my balls for sure. With these 2 pictures, I'm sure jiaos will be damn pissed with me that he'll come scratch my face tonight. Anyway he has always been jealous that I look so much better than him so I'm sure he'll be more than happy to gimme the nick name "Scarface"....
Ok...we are almost done with that bad ass transformation.
Since paikias are always busy doing pai thai chee(bad stuffs), I doubt they have time to shave. Anyway I'm pretty tired with my clean shaven face so I guess I'll stop shaving and have stubbles. Having that is sexy leh...though it'd be uncomfortable if you rub ur face on your girlfriend's tits. Don't know how it'd feel? Try rubbing a piece of sandpaper on your asscheeks and see how it feels like...
Ok...lets take a final look after that complete paikia transformation...I should look somewhat like this....
How? Nice bo? Can bo? Hurhur...I can see some of you drooling over my new makeover look leow wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahaha!! Ok...you are not. Fuck...I'm so bo liao right? Ya..cos I'm really bo liao...ok lets see how I'll look if I dont shave for 6 months..I'll most probably look like this....
Hi, my name is Oninama Bin Kaninaden
Mmm see sian meh~~~~ Eh...I better save this before limpeh click publish post...
Hey, wadaya know? Maybe I'll star in the next Pirates Of The Carribbean, taking over Johnny Depp wahahahaha~ The latter can do another kids movie and maybe can call it, Charlie And The White-Chocolate Factory this time....
Courtesy of KS hehehehehehe...
26 September 2005
22 September 2005
Oei!! Limpeh Cool Bo?
This is what you'll see as my display picture, if you message me in MSN.
This, is enough to make those girls in my MSN to message me and disrupt my peaceful life by asking who is this, non-stop. Don't believe? Lemme show you an example.....
Susan says: who is tis in the pic?
Lloyd says: its me 5 yrs back
Susan says: ya rite!
Lloyd says: ok...so i lied...
Susan says: of cos!! u liar...
Susan says: tell me..who is he?
Lloyd says: actually its me 7 years back...
Susan says: ya rite!
Lloyd says: weally!!!!
Susan says: no way
Susan says: say la..who is he?
Lloyd says: ok la ok la...he is jiro la...Glay's bassist..a popular jap rock band
Susan says: lol..y u wanna put his pic? u want pple to think its u?
Lloyd says: becos i sianing one gal and i want her to believe this is me...
Susan says: lol...kns...like that bluff pple
Lloyd says: ok la ok la...i put my real pic lor...
And this time, I display a genuine picture of myself. And of cos, I got a little help from photoshop to make myself look better. But the reaction people gave me was not something I expected to receive...
Susan says: wahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha
Lloyd says: nice bo my hairstyle
Susan says: u got the shock of ur life ar
Lloyd says: ya...when my girlfriend told me she's pregnant...
Susan says: tat is quite worrying
Lloyd says: nah...its not about being worried
Susan says: then?
Lloyd says: its shocking to know that she's pregnant when I havent even *erhem* her....
Susan says: .....
This is what you'll see as my display picture, if you message me in MSN.
This, is enough to make those girls in my MSN to message me and disrupt my peaceful life by asking who is this, non-stop. Don't believe? Lemme show you an example.....
Susan says: who is tis in the pic?
Lloyd says: its me 5 yrs back
Susan says: ya rite!
Lloyd says: ok...so i lied...
Susan says: of cos!! u liar...
Susan says: tell me..who is he?
Lloyd says: actually its me 7 years back...
Susan says: ya rite!
Lloyd says: weally!!!!
Susan says: no way
Susan says: say la..who is he?
Lloyd says: ok la ok la...he is jiro la...Glay's bassist..a popular jap rock band
Susan says: lol..y u wanna put his pic? u want pple to think its u?
Lloyd says: becos i sianing one gal and i want her to believe this is me...
Susan says: lol...kns...like that bluff pple
Lloyd says: ok la ok la...i put my real pic lor...
And this time, I display a genuine picture of myself. And of cos, I got a little help from photoshop to make myself look better. But the reaction people gave me was not something I expected to receive...
Susan says: wahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha
Lloyd says: nice bo my hairstyle
Susan says: u got the shock of ur life ar
Lloyd says: ya...when my girlfriend told me she's pregnant...
Susan says: tat is quite worrying
Lloyd says: nah...its not about being worried
Susan says: then?
Lloyd says: its shocking to know that she's pregnant when I havent even *erhem* her....
Susan says: .....
[01:34] Evil-Bot> ===== Question 4908/9497 =====
[01:34] Evil-Bot> Music : Metallica: Name of Metallica's drummer
[01:34] Evil-Bot> Hint: ---- ------
[01:34] Ms^who> kurt cobain
[01:34] freakshow> hahahahaha
[01:34] freakshow> ahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahahha
[01:34] freakshow> if kurt cobain is the drummer then michael jackson must be their lead vocalist hahaahahahha
[01:34] Evil-Bot> Music : Metallica: Name of Metallica's drummer
[01:34] Evil-Bot> Hint: ---- ------
[01:34] Ms^who> kurt cobain
[01:34] freakshow> hahahahaha
[01:34] freakshow> ahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahahha
[01:34] freakshow> if kurt cobain is the drummer then michael jackson must be their lead vocalist hahaahahahha
19 September 2005
Its another brand new week. Hopefully this week would be more exciting than the previous one. Last week was disastrous.
Anyway, Bolton beat Man City with a solitary extra time penalty. Man City defender Richard Dunne instinctively raised his hand to stop the ball when Bolton striker Pedersen tried to flick the ball over Dunne. Speed blast it home from the spot and seconds after the restart, referee blew the whistle! Yay~ With that win, I am now even steven with lukey once again. Wah lao eh...always -1 -2 then go back to 0...like that when then can be -10 and go eat Katsu Don?!?!?!?
Anyway, let us move on to La Liga now. Real Madrid continue their fucked up run ever since that marginal win over newly promoted Cadiz wahahahahaha!!! Fucked up you know!!! Real Madrid playing like a buncha headless flies...no one know what they supposed to do and where they supposed to run to. I think they really miss Figo and Zidane's creativity in midfield. Baptista is still not comfortable with the role as a left forward playing behind Ronaldo. Robinho is trying too hard to skip pass too many pairs of legs into the box. Roberto Carlos continue to forget his role is not a winger but left back. He conveniently forgets to come down and help defend after going up to "rambart" the opposition defenders. Helguera is still showing that sibei chum face. Salgado is still as clumsy. Pablo Garcia's name wasn't even mentioned by the commentator till he got substituted. Beckham is playing the role of sweeper with his fantastic right foot most of the time wahahahaha!! What a fucked up role your supposedly right attacking winger is playing...
The biggest problem with Real is that they don't have someone to dictate the play from midfield. Zizou is out for 3 weeks after his international duty, and all these defeats are happening during his absence. Now you know how important Zizou is? He is so fucking important to Real Madrid ok!! Beckham is playing so deep these days that he's no longer a threat to any defence, unless of cos, he comes up to take a free kick outside the box, but don't count on it. His freekicks are so bad these days cos he constantly forget to tie his right boot's laces. Even his corners suck big time! The only good thing about Real now is that they have acquired quite a decent centerback, Sergio Ramos. This guy is fantastic in the air and alot less clumsy than the combined Helguera, Pavon and Bravo. Those 3 can consider joining the Moscow Circus if they decide(they should actually do it) to quit professional football.
The good news fer Real Madrid is that their fiercest rival, Barcelona, suffered a defeat too. Barcelona handed over 3 points to Atletico Madrid last night at Vicente Calderon. Last year's La Liga champion were ahead after just 6 minutes with an Eto'o goal but Fernando Torres pulled one back soon after just 10 minutes. Kezman slot home the winner just 2 minutes after the restart and the score stayed that way till full time. This has to be a black black sabbath day to the two spanish giants. Ole~ La liga is such an open league and everybody is equally good...not like EPL where that motherfucking team swept up all the good players from other teams and make them sit on the bench just to demoralise them and fucked up their form before selling them away to others. Puiz!!
Ok...enough of football talks...limpeh also dunno why limpeh trying to act like a sports columnist. Maybe I'm trying to take over that ah diang...hmm...whats his name again? That one who always claypot? Something something Yeo one...hmm...nevermind. I'll go eat my wanton mee now. You want some wantons from Old Airpork Road, Sir?
Anyway, Bolton beat Man City with a solitary extra time penalty. Man City defender Richard Dunne instinctively raised his hand to stop the ball when Bolton striker Pedersen tried to flick the ball over Dunne. Speed blast it home from the spot and seconds after the restart, referee blew the whistle! Yay~ With that win, I am now even steven with lukey once again. Wah lao eh...always -1 -2 then go back to 0...like that when then can be -10 and go eat Katsu Don?!?!?!?
Anyway, let us move on to La Liga now. Real Madrid continue their fucked up run ever since that marginal win over newly promoted Cadiz wahahahahaha!!! Fucked up you know!!! Real Madrid playing like a buncha headless flies...no one know what they supposed to do and where they supposed to run to. I think they really miss Figo and Zidane's creativity in midfield. Baptista is still not comfortable with the role as a left forward playing behind Ronaldo. Robinho is trying too hard to skip pass too many pairs of legs into the box. Roberto Carlos continue to forget his role is not a winger but left back. He conveniently forgets to come down and help defend after going up to "rambart" the opposition defenders. Helguera is still showing that sibei chum face. Salgado is still as clumsy. Pablo Garcia's name wasn't even mentioned by the commentator till he got substituted. Beckham is playing the role of sweeper with his fantastic right foot most of the time wahahahaha!! What a fucked up role your supposedly right attacking winger is playing...
The biggest problem with Real is that they don't have someone to dictate the play from midfield. Zizou is out for 3 weeks after his international duty, and all these defeats are happening during his absence. Now you know how important Zizou is? He is so fucking important to Real Madrid ok!! Beckham is playing so deep these days that he's no longer a threat to any defence, unless of cos, he comes up to take a free kick outside the box, but don't count on it. His freekicks are so bad these days cos he constantly forget to tie his right boot's laces. Even his corners suck big time! The only good thing about Real now is that they have acquired quite a decent centerback, Sergio Ramos. This guy is fantastic in the air and alot less clumsy than the combined Helguera, Pavon and Bravo. Those 3 can consider joining the Moscow Circus if they decide(they should actually do it) to quit professional football.
The good news fer Real Madrid is that their fiercest rival, Barcelona, suffered a defeat too. Barcelona handed over 3 points to Atletico Madrid last night at Vicente Calderon. Last year's La Liga champion were ahead after just 6 minutes with an Eto'o goal but Fernando Torres pulled one back soon after just 10 minutes. Kezman slot home the winner just 2 minutes after the restart and the score stayed that way till full time. This has to be a black black sabbath day to the two spanish giants. Ole~ La liga is such an open league and everybody is equally good...not like EPL where that motherfucking team swept up all the good players from other teams and make them sit on the bench just to demoralise them and fucked up their form before selling them away to others. Puiz!!
Ok...enough of football talks...limpeh also dunno why limpeh trying to act like a sports columnist. Maybe I'm trying to take over that ah diang...hmm...whats his name again? That one who always claypot? Something something Yeo one...hmm...nevermind. I'll go eat my wanton mee now. You want some wantons from Old Airpork Road, Sir?
18 September 2005
I realised my blog is getting more and more lame in a not funny sense. Maybe it is relative to one's lifestyle. Zzz...anyway the fucked up match between Ligapool and Manure ended up 0-0. No goals to celebrate yet I kept hearing that stupid rocket sound. You know which rocket sound? That thing that would give out a loud loud PIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! sound after you light it. Fucked up childrens playing with it again, without a doubt. I really wish I can jack those things up their ass, slowly light it and hear tat thing go PIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! as they scream. Irritating fucks...
Argh...I am so so sian...knnz...the clock is ticking as I continue sinking into depression. Newcastle won 3-0 at Ewood Park...I think Blackburn will do better if they are in division one. Maybe they can be finish 7th or 8th if they were in division one. Man City host Bolton and lukey took Man City with a -1/2 ball handicap. Can Stuart Pearce make Bolton drop 3 points at City of Manchester Stadium? Is Hidetoshi Nakata's partnership with Jay Jay Okocha good enough to dominate midfield? Are they even gonna start together, since they are both the same type of players? So many questions left to be answered~ Thats the beauty of soccer, provided you know what I'm talking about. All these questions will be answered in 2 hours time! And then got Espanyol vs Real Madrid and Athletico Madrid vs Barcelona...I think tonight no need to koon liao...
Anyway, its so hard to con people to chia makan in IRC nowadays...it used to be real easy....now wanna con 1 meal must wait for at least half the season gone...I think its time we raise the number of games we bet liao, wadaya say lukey? On bo~
Argh...I am so so sian...knnz...the clock is ticking as I continue sinking into depression. Newcastle won 3-0 at Ewood Park...I think Blackburn will do better if they are in division one. Maybe they can be finish 7th or 8th if they were in division one. Man City host Bolton and lukey took Man City with a -1/2 ball handicap. Can Stuart Pearce make Bolton drop 3 points at City of Manchester Stadium? Is Hidetoshi Nakata's partnership with Jay Jay Okocha good enough to dominate midfield? Are they even gonna start together, since they are both the same type of players? So many questions left to be answered~ Thats the beauty of soccer, provided you know what I'm talking about. All these questions will be answered in 2 hours time! And then got Espanyol vs Real Madrid and Athletico Madrid vs Barcelona...I think tonight no need to koon liao...
Anyway, its so hard to con people to chia makan in IRC nowadays...it used to be real easy....now wanna con 1 meal must wait for at least half the season gone...I think its time we raise the number of games we bet liao, wadaya say lukey? On bo~
Yeah...today is mid autumn festival, otherwise known as mooncake festival, or its simply 中秋节 if you know how to read chinese. Nothing happy or not happy about this festival, its just another excuse to feast and indulge yourself in those sweet-like-dunno-what-fuck mooncakes. So stop wishing one another happy mooncake festival, wish them happy stuffing mooncakes into their mouth sounds a lot more logical.
中秋节 is not really a big thing in Singapore, actually. It is, however, a fucking big thing in Taiwan(according to 食字路口). Its almost like celebrating Chinese New Year in Taiwan you know? Its seem fun, the way those taiwanese celebrate it. They love to BBQ during this festival, especially pengkang sweet potatoes to makan. They call it 烤地瓜. Speaking of which, its been a long time since I BBQed. Get the drift eh, people? Lai la...organise something and we will 烤 some 地瓜 as well, ya?
This festival used to be very very very happening to me. I'd meet a couple of friends and go out to play with candles. Erm...not the perverted ways you sick buncha of fuckers! I know youcheebyes people would surely link candles to S&M, handcuffs, whips and things like that. You buncha cheebyes dirty minded fucks with a mind as distorted as 许纯美's face. We were still under 16 then ok!! Only till I was well above 18 and got into poly and got to know people from BBS then I became so corrupted one ok!! It was only then that I finally knew what else you could do with candles, other then seeing them blowing in the wind. You don't know what else can you do with candles?? Ask Elton John, he might know.
During those days, its a good time to ask girls join us fer this kinda celebration. Its so different when there are girls around. Though we were still young, we already knew how to find cheap thrills!!! We'll ask those girls to play some stupid games and find chance to hold their hands. Then we would play Nostradamus with our deck of cards and try to predict their future with it.
And of cos its all bullshit lar...We made it all up in favour of us lar. It goes like this: If ah boy like ah girl and ah boy's name is for example, Wong Ah Gao, we would tell ah girl that her destined husband's was a King in previous life(according to the reading from the cards, which of cos, is crap!). Then we would say since he used to be a king and so this life he'll bear that king's surname(wong is 王 , another meaning fer this is King). After that, ah boy have to pray hard there's no other Wongs in ah girl's life or mind, or pray hard that ah girl is stupid enough to believe our crap. Heng this buncha conman(including me) all have different surnames else it would be a tao tia thing to pinpoint the right guy.
Hmm...I sensed deja vu. I think I ever blogged about mid autumn festival and said this before, right? Knnz...I'm going round and round in circles siah... Aiyah, whatever lar...stay at home blog then stay at home blog lor...anyway I also give up finding things to do or places to go.
Luckily later got Ligapool vs Manure at 7pm, still not that bad. Last night's match kicked off at 10pm!! Sat from 7pm till 9.30pm and got so fucking sian and went home. Talking to kopi soh is just not my forte, I guess. The cheegens are still as nice, though. Kopi soh is still as fat and kopi is still 70cents per cup. Uncles are still smoking Dunhill and I'm still sitting alone in coffeeshops, quite often.
Ok, since today is mid autumn festival, I'll share with you a poem composed by one of China's great poet, 苏轼(pronounced as Su Shi, or the more renowned 苏东坡 and no, Sotong Ball wasn't derived from his name). This poem is about absolute loneliness, lots of sigh and the moon and his 五加皮/茅台/女儿红 are the things that are keeping him company. And no, it was not written by Teresa Teng or Faye Wong, although it was made popular by them. Its by 苏轼. Yeah, the one you learnt about in secondary school. I wonder how many of you still remember this passage on 苏轼牧羊. Its about this poet cum court official who got banished to the borders. Wrote this during those lonely days. He died at the age of 63, as a sad, sad, lonely man.
苏轼，水调歌头
明月几时有？把酒问青天。
不知天上宫阙，今夕是何年？
我欲乘风归去，唯恐琼楼玉宇。
高处不胜寒，起舞弄清影，何似在人间。
转朱阁，低绮户，照无眠，
不应有恨，何事长向，别时圆。
人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺。
此事古难全。
但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。
I wonder how many of you can relate to his loneliness and helplessness? I can.
中秋节 is not really a big thing in Singapore, actually. It is, however, a fucking big thing in Taiwan(according to 食字路口). Its almost like celebrating Chinese New Year in Taiwan you know? Its seem fun, the way those taiwanese celebrate it. They love to BBQ during this festival, especially pengkang sweet potatoes to makan. They call it 烤地瓜. Speaking of which, its been a long time since I BBQed. Get the drift eh, people? Lai la...organise something and we will 烤 some 地瓜 as well, ya?
This festival used to be very very very happening to me. I'd meet a couple of friends and go out to play with candles. Erm...not the perverted ways you sick buncha of fuckers! I know you
During those days, its a good time to ask girls join us fer this kinda celebration. Its so different when there are girls around. Though we were still young, we already knew how to find cheap thrills!!! We'll ask those girls to play some stupid games and find chance to hold their hands. Then we would play Nostradamus with our deck of cards and try to predict their future with it.
And of cos its all bullshit lar...We made it all up in favour of us lar. It goes like this: If ah boy like ah girl and ah boy's name is for example, Wong Ah Gao, we would tell ah girl that her destined husband's was a King in previous life(according to the reading from the cards, which of cos, is crap!). Then we would say since he used to be a king and so this life he'll bear that king's surname(wong is 王 , another meaning fer this is King). After that, ah boy have to pray hard there's no other Wongs in ah girl's life or mind, or pray hard that ah girl is stupid enough to believe our crap. Heng this buncha conman(including me) all have different surnames else it would be a tao tia thing to pinpoint the right guy.
Hmm...I sensed deja vu. I think I ever blogged about mid autumn festival and said this before, right? Knnz...I'm going round and round in circles siah... Aiyah, whatever lar...stay at home blog then stay at home blog lor...anyway I also give up finding things to do or places to go.
Luckily later got Ligapool vs Manure at 7pm, still not that bad. Last night's match kicked off at 10pm!! Sat from 7pm till 9.30pm and got so fucking sian and went home. Talking to kopi soh is just not my forte, I guess. The cheegens are still as nice, though. Kopi soh is still as fat and kopi is still 70cents per cup. Uncles are still smoking Dunhill and I'm still sitting alone in coffeeshops, quite often.
Ok, since today is mid autumn festival, I'll share with you a poem composed by one of China's great poet, 苏轼(pronounced as Su Shi, or the more renowned 苏东坡 and no, Sotong Ball wasn't derived from his name). This poem is about absolute loneliness, lots of sigh and the moon and his 五加皮/茅台/女儿红 are the things that are keeping him company. And no, it was not written by Teresa Teng or Faye Wong, although it was made popular by them. Its by 苏轼. Yeah, the one you learnt about in secondary school. I wonder how many of you still remember this passage on 苏轼牧羊. Its about this poet cum court official who got banished to the borders. Wrote this during those lonely days. He died at the age of 63, as a sad, sad, lonely man.
苏轼，水调歌头
明月几时有？把酒问青天。
不知天上宫阙，今夕是何年？
我欲乘风归去，唯恐琼楼玉宇。
高处不胜寒，起舞弄清影，何似在人间。
转朱阁，低绮户，照无眠，
不应有恨，何事长向，别时圆。
人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺。
此事古难全。
但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。
I wonder how many of you can relate to his loneliness and helplessness? I can.
17 September 2005
Its another boring weekend, as usual. No clubs, pubs and drugs. No, limpeh never do drugs, its just fer the sake of rhym-ing. Its 1630 hrs now and limpeh still got no plans fer tonight. Rather depressing. Imagine watching the clock tick as you try to figure out something to do for the weekend. Worse still, limpeh is doing that with limpeh's neighbor singing next door. Wah lan eh...this is worse than William Hung singing "Kissing A Fool"...picture William singing it at Frank Sinatra's grave. Frank Sinatra's tombstone also crack man! And limpeh have to endure something worse than that, now!!! ZZzzz...CCB
Fuck siah..limpeh can hardly believe this is the kinda Saturdays limpeh have to go thru now, because limpeh is so much more mobile than before. Its so ironic! When limpeh is so immobile, limpeh'd get to go so many places, do so many things with so many friends blah blah blah yada yada yada~ Ok, limpeh guess he's right. Since they know limpeh is so mobile these days, they'd think limpeh'll take the initiative to find limpeh's own programs and such. Right. Limpeh's own initiative. Ok, so be it. Limpeh will find things to do! Limpeh will go coffeeshop later and eat fried cheegens and drink xiao mai cao!!
Oh no...its back to the ranting days... Fuck. This is bad. No no...no more ranting. Limpeh should be glad that friends think limpeh is getting so much better as compared to before. But its really sian to be sitting at home and wait for things to happen. Not that limpeh don't wanna make things happen, just that limpeh know the people limpeh wanna call would be busy doing something at that moment. How do limpeh know? Limpeh of cos know...limpeh what also know wat! Ok, so limpeh have an ultra big ego thats the size of Cardiff Millennium Stadium. Buay song with limpeh? Lai la...limpeh chia you eat goon tao bu then you know. But first, you have to know what is goon tao bu.
Wah...its 1700 hrs liao...3 paragraphs niah and it took limpeh half an hour! You see, weekends are so different from weekdays. Blogged for half an hour and still no one message me. Weekdays hor, limpeh blog 5 minutes niah got people message liao. Weekdays all cho kang mah...so got time to eng siew limpeh. Who the fuck cho kang on weekends? Anyway its good enuff that some would come find me during lunchtime or after they pang kang. But can limpeh make a request? CAN YOU ALL DON'T ASK LIMPEH OUT ON THE SAME DAY, SAME TIME BUT GO DIFFERENT PLACES CAN? CAN BO? CAN? CAN? CAN? Ok, limpeh understand you all don't have duty roster to follow so its hard to know when limpeh eng or bo eng or where limpeh is going. But limpeh really don't understand lor...its either all jio limpeh go out on the same day, same time or no one jio limpeh at all...where got always like that one?!?!?! Pang sai also got different *cheng tiam, where got dub bai sio siang *cheng tiam pang sai one?!?!? Sibei funny...its either have limpeh have alot alot alot of kangtao or dont have at all...knnz...
Diu...The most later go coffeeshop watch Charlton versus Chelski and eat fried cheegens, ALONE!!!!
Aunty confirm ask me this again when she see me alone...
"Dee ah...kim meh karki jit lang ar? Lee eh peng you leh?"
And as usual, my reply...
"Peng you long chong day lang chao liao...bo peng you liao..."
Then limpeh would listen to Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter and cry abit...and maybe, just maybe, aunty would chia me drink xiao mai cao for free...
Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new
This song mm see sad meh~ So chum...as chum as tao beo tiao lee...
*Cheng Tiam means time
Fuck siah..limpeh can hardly believe this is the kinda Saturdays limpeh have to go thru now, because limpeh is so much more mobile than before. Its so ironic! When limpeh is so immobile, limpeh'd get to go so many places, do so many things with so many friends blah blah blah yada yada yada~ Ok, limpeh guess he's right. Since they know limpeh is so mobile these days, they'd think limpeh'll take the initiative to find limpeh's own programs and such. Right. Limpeh's own initiative. Ok, so be it. Limpeh will find things to do! Limpeh will go coffeeshop later and eat fried cheegens and drink xiao mai cao!!
Oh no...its back to the ranting days... Fuck. This is bad. No no...no more ranting. Limpeh should be glad that friends think limpeh is getting so much better as compared to before. But its really sian to be sitting at home and wait for things to happen. Not that limpeh don't wanna make things happen, just that limpeh know the people limpeh wanna call would be busy doing something at that moment. How do limpeh know? Limpeh of cos know...limpeh what also know wat! Ok, so limpeh have an ultra big ego thats the size of Cardiff Millennium Stadium. Buay song with limpeh? Lai la...limpeh chia you eat goon tao bu then you know. But first, you have to know what is goon tao bu.
Wah...its 1700 hrs liao...3 paragraphs niah and it took limpeh half an hour! You see, weekends are so different from weekdays. Blogged for half an hour and still no one message me. Weekdays hor, limpeh blog 5 minutes niah got people message liao. Weekdays all cho kang mah...so got time to eng siew limpeh. Who the fuck cho kang on weekends? Anyway its good enuff that some would come find me during lunchtime or after they pang kang. But can limpeh make a request? CAN YOU ALL DON'T ASK LIMPEH OUT ON THE SAME DAY, SAME TIME BUT GO DIFFERENT PLACES CAN? CAN BO? CAN? CAN? CAN? Ok, limpeh understand you all don't have duty roster to follow so its hard to know when limpeh eng or bo eng or where limpeh is going. But limpeh really don't understand lor...its either all jio limpeh go out on the same day, same time or no one jio limpeh at all...where got always like that one?!?!?! Pang sai also got different *cheng tiam, where got dub bai sio siang *cheng tiam pang sai one?!?!? Sibei funny...its either have limpeh have alot alot alot of kangtao or dont have at all...knnz...
Diu...The most later go coffeeshop watch Charlton versus Chelski and eat fried cheegens, ALONE!!!!
Aunty confirm ask me this again when she see me alone...
"Dee ah...kim meh karki jit lang ar? Lee eh peng you leh?"
And as usual, my reply...
"Peng you long chong day lang chao liao...bo peng you liao..."
Then limpeh would listen to Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter and cry abit...and maybe, just maybe, aunty would chia me drink xiao mai cao for free...
Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new
This song mm see sad meh~ So chum...as chum as tao beo tiao lee...
*Cheng Tiam means time
13 September 2005
Yo...limpeh's blogging now cos limpeh is really bored. Ok, thats not the only reason. Limpeh is hoping someone would come and chat with limpeh cos everytime limpeh start to blog, someone, somewhere, somehow, someway, would message limpeh in either IRC or MSN.
Ok, limpeh isn't getting any messages so limpeh will continue bloggin. Limpeh got plenty of material to post actually. Took lotsa pictures but limpeh lack inspiration and motivation to pen it down. Fuck...Maybe limpeh is still traumatised by jiao's birthday post. That post was so fucking siong...
See...limpeh knew limpeh'd get message the very moment limpeh start to blog. 3 girls and 1 guy...brilliant isnt it? ok, limpeh continue blogging later...limpeh zai zai one...once start to blog niah confirm got kangtao...knnz...
Ok, limpeh isn't getting any messages so limpeh will continue bloggin. Limpeh got plenty of material to post actually. Took lotsa pictures but limpeh lack inspiration and motivation to pen it down. Fuck...Maybe limpeh is still traumatised by jiao's birthday post. That post was so fucking siong...
See...limpeh knew limpeh'd get message the very moment limpeh start to blog. 3 girls and 1 guy...brilliant isnt it? ok, limpeh continue blogging later...limpeh zai zai one...once start to blog niah confirm got kangtao...knnz...
08 September 2005
What The Hell Is A Zoo Loot?
[20:30] me> limpeh dont bleed for a week every month and still wont die
[20:30] me> limpeh not monster
[20:30] Eva_25> ... limbu dont have my trunk between my legs also
[20:31] me> sorry hor...mine not trunk
[20:31] me> mine the most oso cigar niah
[20:31] me> thats why i am not in any john woo's movie cos he's so fucking exaggerating
[20:31] Eva_25> urs only the size of a cigar
[20:31] Eva_25> heheheeh
[20:32] me> ya...zoo loot
[20:33] Eva_25> isnt zoo loot = cigarette
[20:33] me> zoo loot is cigar lar
[20:33] me> wat cigarette...i bigger than cigarette ok!
[20:33] me> cigarette is xiao zoo loot or small zoo loot or little zoo loot
[20:33] me> wahahhahahaahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaa
[20:33] Eva_25> ...
[20:33] Eva_25> u abit lame
[20:34] me> hahaahha this is so funny
This is how zoo loot look like...in case you fuckers got no idea what is a zoo loot or how a zoo loot look like.
Important notes on how Chinese got the idea of calling cigars, zoo loot.
According to Nate, leader of the ethical group "Brudders With Answer", this word was derived from the word "Cheroot"(a cigar with both ends cut flat) by the chinese. When the coolies first saw an angmor smoking something huge at Collyer Quay all the way back in Apr 12th, 1955, they wonder what the fuck was that. They've never seen such a huge cigarette that look like GaoSai. One day, they overheard the angmor calling it Cheroot(pronounced as Sure-Root) and pass on to one another as Soo-Loot, since the coolies are mostly lao hokkien and they dunno how to curl their tongue. After a few decades, modern hokkiens are desperate to shed that image their forefathers created and try to sound a little more sophisticated than before. Hence, they decided to change the word Soo to Zoo as they feel Z has more brits accent than S and thats how the word Zoo Loot came about. However, despite attempts to be sophisticated, those modern hokkiens sitting in coffeeshops are still as fucked up as 50 years ago. They still can't curl their tongue and pronounce Rooney properly. They would go, "LOO-NEE LOO-NEE LOO-NEE!!". If I have the balls to tell them off, guess what I'ma tell them? LOO NIN LAO BU. By the way, newspaper editors pen Rooney as 鲁尼(screw you if you dunno how to read that) as well, a direct translation from the uncles in coffeeshops. Henceforth, I can conclude that those lao uncles sitting in coffeeshops, might be one of those editors. Period.
[20:30] me> limpeh dont bleed for a week every month and still wont die
[20:30] me> limpeh not monster
[20:30] Eva_25> ... limbu dont have my trunk between my legs also
[20:31] me> sorry hor...mine not trunk
[20:31] me> mine the most oso cigar niah
[20:31] me> thats why i am not in any john woo's movie cos he's so fucking exaggerating
[20:31] Eva_25> urs only the size of a cigar
[20:31] Eva_25> heheheeh
[20:32] me> ya...zoo loot
[20:33] Eva_25> isnt zoo loot = cigarette
[20:33] me> zoo loot is cigar lar
[20:33] me> wat cigarette...i bigger than cigarette ok!
[20:33] me> cigarette is xiao zoo loot or small zoo loot or little zoo loot
[20:33] me> wahahhahahaahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaa
[20:33] Eva_25> ...
[20:33] Eva_25> u abit lame
[20:34] me> hahaahha this is so funny
This is how zoo loot look like...in case you fuckers got no idea what is a zoo loot or how a zoo loot look like.
Important notes on how Chinese got the idea of calling cigars, zoo loot.
According to Nate, leader of the ethical group "Brudders With Answer", this word was derived from the word "Cheroot"(a cigar with both ends cut flat) by the chinese. When the coolies first saw an angmor smoking something huge at Collyer Quay all the way back in Apr 12th, 1955, they wonder what the fuck was that. They've never seen such a huge cigarette that look like GaoSai. One day, they overheard the angmor calling it Cheroot(pronounced as Sure-Root) and pass on to one another as Soo-Loot, since the coolies are mostly lao hokkien and they dunno how to curl their tongue. After a few decades, modern hokkiens are desperate to shed that image their forefathers created and try to sound a little more sophisticated than before. Hence, they decided to change the word Soo to Zoo as they feel Z has more brits accent than S and thats how the word Zoo Loot came about. However, despite attempts to be sophisticated, those modern hokkiens sitting in coffeeshops are still as fucked up as 50 years ago. They still can't curl their tongue and pronounce Rooney properly. They would go, "LOO-NEE LOO-NEE LOO-NEE!!". If I have the balls to tell them off, guess what I'ma tell them? LOO NIN LAO BU. By the way, newspaper editors pen Rooney as 鲁尼(screw you if you dunno how to read that) as well, a direct translation from the uncles in coffeeshops. Henceforth, I can conclude that those lao uncles sitting in coffeeshops, might be one of those editors. Period.
02 September 2005
yay~ I learn something new today!!!! Actually I've always wondered how they do this but as usual, I procrastinate too much. Anyway, all is well now. I'm going to eat Mala Hotpot next week. I hope my nose won't bleed fer 3 days after eating that shit, which it did previously. Its frightening to see your whole basin stained with blood man I tell you...but that is nothing compared to what girls have to go thru during that time of the month.
A friend mail me this with "How Touching!!" as the email subject. After reading it, limpeh think to limpehself, "Touching ki lanz...this kinda things limpeh dunno say how many times leow but never once mean it." GIRLS!!! They thought spider wrap insects stuck on their web with another layer of web is because that spider scare the insects cold. They feel so touched seeing spiders do that. HA!! What they didn't see is that, spiders suck the insect dry while the insects are sio sio inside the cocoon. That cocoon that wrapped the insects is not their comfortor, its the spider's refrigerator ok! So whats the moral of the story? The moral of the story is so obvious right!! Spiders are not herbivore lar...Anyway, lemme show you that mail my friend FW to me....so fucking stupid and lame can...
Subject: HoW t0uChinG...
Date: Thu 09/01/05 07:38 AM
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
he said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....
and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,
and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough.
As she walked away, with tears streaming down her face
the guy grabbed her arm and said....
You're not pretty...
You're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever.
I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...
I'd die...
SIAO EH!! WU KAR LAME BO!!!!
Oh ya, forgot to mention, this mail was from a 19 years old girl. Well done well done...
DUHZ.
Ever wonder how it would sound like if this were to be between ah lian and ah beng?
Hokkien version
Ah lian ask ah beng "Wa swee bo?"
Ah beng say..."Ah swee lee bart bo?"
Ah lian then asked ah beng "Ai kia steady mai?"
Ah beng say..."Steady kia buay ku."
Ah lian then asked ah beng "Na see wa kee girls home bear, lee eh lai kua wa bo?"
Ah beng replied...."Jiak ba bo sai pang ar?"
Ah lian tia gao liao.
As ah lian walked away, bark sai buay tahan liao and start to lao loh lai,
Ah beng shouted, "Oei!! Kee toh loh! Deng lai...limpeh wu mick kia ga li gong!"
Ah beng say, "Lee mm see swee lar...
Lee see kan see lang chio.
Limpeh mai kar lee kia steady.
Limpeh ai chua lee cho bor.
And na see lee kee girls home bear, limpeh buay kee kua lee lar
Limpeh jit tao kee kiu lee choot lai!!"
Don't understand? Here's the chinese version...
Chinese Version
阿莲问阿炳，“我水吗？”
阿炳答，“阿水你认识吗？”
阿莲又问阿炳，“要走 steady 吗？”
阿炳答，“steady 走不久。”
阿莲又问阿炳，“要是我被送到感化院，你会来看我吗？”
阿炳答，“吃饱没屎拉啊？”
阿莲听够了。
当她走开时，目屎不由自主的流下。
于是阿炳大声喊道，“喂！去哪里！回来，我有东西跟你说！”
阿炳说，“你不是水啦。。。
你是干死人美啦。
我不要走 steady 啦，
我要娶你做老婆啦。
如果你去感化院蹲，我不会去看你啦，
我会去劫狱，把你救出来啦！”
Ah beng can also be quite lomantic one ok!
Subject: HoW t0uChinG...
Date: Thu 09/01/05 07:38 AM
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
he said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....
and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,
and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough.
As she walked away, with tears streaming down her face
the guy grabbed her arm and said....
You're not pretty...
You're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever.
I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...
I'd die...
SIAO EH!! WU KAR LAME BO!!!!
Oh ya, forgot to mention, this mail was from a 19 years old girl. Well done well done...
DUHZ.
Ever wonder how it would sound like if this were to be between ah lian and ah beng?
Hokkien version
Ah lian ask ah beng "Wa swee bo?"
Ah beng say..."Ah swee lee bart bo?"
Ah lian then asked ah beng "Ai kia steady mai?"
Ah beng say..."Steady kia buay ku."
Ah lian then asked ah beng "Na see wa kee girls home bear, lee eh lai kua wa bo?"
Ah beng replied...."Jiak ba bo sai pang ar?"
Ah lian tia gao liao.
As ah lian walked away, bark sai buay tahan liao and start to lao loh lai,
Ah beng shouted, "Oei!! Kee toh loh! Deng lai...limpeh wu mick kia ga li gong!"
Ah beng say, "Lee mm see swee lar...
Lee see kan see lang chio.
Limpeh mai kar lee kia steady.
Limpeh ai chua lee cho bor.
And na see lee kee girls home bear, limpeh buay kee kua lee lar
Limpeh jit tao kee kiu lee choot lai!!"
Don't understand? Here's the chinese version...
Chinese Version
阿莲问阿炳，“我水吗？”
阿炳答，“阿水你认识吗？”
阿莲又问阿炳，“要走 steady 吗？”
阿炳答，“steady 走不久。”
阿莲又问阿炳，“要是我被送到感化院，你会来看我吗？”
阿炳答，“吃饱没屎拉啊？”
阿莲听够了。
当她走开时，目屎不由自主的流下。
于是阿炳大声喊道，“喂！去哪里！回来，我有东西跟你说！”
阿炳说，“你不是水啦。。。
你是干死人美啦。
我不要走 steady 啦，
我要娶你做老婆啦。
如果你去感化院蹲，我不会去看你啦，
我会去劫狱，把你救出来啦！”
Ah beng can also be quite lomantic one ok!
01 September 2005
On a much lighter note, here's something fer you guys to laugh about. We have this trivia game where the bot would ask a question, give you some hints(like how many letters are there and hint you a few letters) and people will try to answer it. This cristiano dude, notoriously known fer his stupidity, try to live up to his reputation once again...
[00:15] cristian0>!start
[00:15] ahber>u dun play trivia ok
[00:15] ahber>u suck at it
[00:16] cristian0>i sux at it but i try my best ma
[00:16] ahber>kk show me u try
[00:16] ahber>come
[00:16] ahber>!start
[00:16] evil-bot>Trivia game started by ahbeR!
[00:16] evil-bot>===== Question 8653/9497 =====
[00:17] evil-bot>a person who starts fires maliciously is a(n) _________?
[00:17] evil-bot>Hint: --------
[00:17] cristian0>fireman
[00:17] bozo>u r a gong cb lah
[00:17] me>cb
[00:18] ahber>ninnaohia fireman
[00:18] me>fireman
[00:18] ahber>hahhahaaaha
[00:18] me>u from which country siah
[00:18] bozo>fireman is when u go toilet and whip out ur xiao didi
[00:18] me>hahahahaaha
[00:18] me>ahahaahahahaha
[00:18] ahber> arsonist
[00:18] evil-bot> That's the way ahber! The answer was arsonist. You got it in 38.036 seconds.
[00:18] evil-bot> The scores: darl 8885, ahbeR 5607, lukey 5259, Purist 307, MasterBoy 192, Chobits 156, BuRn 49, MeLanie` 2, uHu 2, hOimak 2, ^Lynnett^ 1
[00:18] evil-bot>===== Question 8218/9497 =====
[00:18] evil-bot>although they hate to do it, sheep can do what in an emercency situation?
[00:18] evil-bot>Hint: ----
[00:18] ahber>ok
[00:18] ahber>quick
[00:18] evil-bot>===== Question 8218/9497 (Hint 1/3) =====
[00:18] evil-bot>although they hate to do it, sheep can do what in an emercency situation?
[00:18] evil-bot>Hint: s---
[00:18] ahber>got water means wat
[00:18] evil-bot>===== Question 8218/9497 (Hint 2/3) =====
[00:18] evil-bot>although they hate to do it, sheep can do what in an emercency situation?
[00:18] evil-bot>Hint: sw--
[00:18] cristian0>swet
[00:18] me>hahahahaah
[00:18] me>ahahaahahahaha
[00:18] evil-bot>===== Question 8218/9497 (Hint 3/3) =====
[00:18] evil-bot>although they hate to do it, sheep can do what in an emercency situation?
[00:18] evil-bot>Hint: swi-
[00:18] ahber>hahhahaha
[00:18] me>hahahahaahahahaha
[00:18] ahber>cheebye
[00:18] me>so obvious
[00:18] cristian0>swit
[00:18] me>ccb
[00:18] evil-bot>Are these too tough for you? The answer was swim. Try and get the next one...
[00:18] ahber>sua
[00:18] ahber>u banned from trivia
[00:19] ahber>!stop
[00:19] evil-bot>Trivia game stopped by ahbeR!
[00:19] cristian0>start leh..
[00:19] cristian0>=(
[00:20] cristian0>giv me chance leh..
[00:20] ahber>play monopoly
[00:20] ahber>got many Chance card to take
[00:20] me>sibei funny the fireman
[00:21] me>hahahaahahhahahahaahha
[00:21] me>they start the fire just to put it out later
[00:21] me>else they out of job
[00:21] ahber>yah they bored at the station
[00:21] ahber>they like to slide down the pole
[00:22] cristian0>don laugh at me leh.
[00:15] cristian0>!start
[00:15] ahber>u dun play trivia ok
[00:15] ahber>u suck at it
[00:16] cristian0>i sux at it but i try my best ma
[00:16] ahber>kk show me u try
[00:16] ahber>come
[00:16] ahber>!start
[00:16] evil-bot>Trivia game started by ahbeR!
[00:16] evil-bot>===== Question 8653/9497 =====
[00:17] evil-bot>a person who starts fires maliciously is a(n) _________?
[00:17] evil-bot>Hint: --------
[00:17] cristian0>fireman
[00:17] bozo>u r a gong cb lah
[00:17] me>cb
[00:18] ahber>ninnaohia fireman
[00:18] me>fireman
[00:18] ahber>hahhahaaaha
[00:18] me>u from which country siah
[00:18] bozo>fireman is when u go toilet and whip out ur xiao didi
[00:18] me>hahahahaaha
[00:18] me>ahahaahahahaha
[00:18] ahber> arsonist
[00:18] evil-bot> That's the way ahber! The answer was arsonist. You got it in 38.036 seconds.
[00:18] evil-bot> The scores: darl 8885, ahbeR 5607, lukey 5259, Purist 307, MasterBoy 192, Chobits 156, BuRn 49, MeLanie` 2, uHu 2, hOimak 2, ^Lynnett^ 1
[00:18] evil-bot>===== Question 8218/9497 =====
[00:18] evil-bot>although they hate to do it, sheep can do what in an emercency situation?
[00:18] evil-bot>Hint: ----
[00:18] ahber>ok
[00:18] ahber>quick
[00:18] evil-bot>===== Question 8218/9497 (Hint 1/3) =====
[00:18] evil-bot>although they hate to do it, sheep can do what in an emercency situation?
[00:18] evil-bot>Hint: s---
[00:18] ahber>got water means wat
[00:18] evil-bot>===== Question 8218/9497 (Hint 2/3) =====
[00:18] evil-bot>although they hate to do it, sheep can do what in an emercency situation?
[00:18] evil-bot>Hint: sw--
[00:18] cristian0>swet
[00:18] me>hahahahaah
[00:18] me>ahahaahahahaha
[00:18] evil-bot>===== Question 8218/9497 (Hint 3/3) =====
[00:18] evil-bot>although they hate to do it, sheep can do what in an emercency situation?
[00:18] evil-bot>Hint: swi-
[00:18] ahber>hahhahaha
[00:18] me>hahahahaahahahaha
[00:18] ahber>cheebye
[00:18] me>so obvious
[00:18] cristian0>swit
[00:18] me>ccb
[00:18] evil-bot>Are these too tough for you? The answer was swim. Try and get the next one...
[00:18] ahber>sua
[00:18] ahber>u banned from trivia
[00:19] ahber>!stop
[00:19] evil-bot>Trivia game stopped by ahbeR!
[00:19] cristian0>start leh..
[00:19] cristian0>=(
[00:20] cristian0>giv me chance leh..
[00:20] ahber>play monopoly
[00:20] ahber>got many Chance card to take
[00:20] me>sibei funny the fireman
[00:21] me>hahahaahahhahahahaahha
[00:21] me>they start the fire just to put it out later
[00:21] me>else they out of job
[00:21] ahber>yah they bored at the station
[00:21] ahber>they like to slide down the pole
[00:22] cristian0>don laugh at me leh.
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