As I was saying YESTERDAY, have you people heard of this verse "男人不坏，女人不爱"? Look at me...
Such a decent, dashing, charismatic fine young man, how come I'm not attached? The reason is, I'm not paikia enough for girls to fall in love with. Most girls have a caring, motherly nature in them and subconsciously, they think they are endowed with great powers to change a person(especially paikias). They think they can easily turn paikias into ho kias with this power call "LOVE"(ya right!). Hence, I can conclude that in order for girls to fall in love with me, I must have that really really really paikia look.
But how?
Ok, I can find the bestest plastic surgeon in Singapore and have him turn me into Edison Chen lookalike. This bugger is the best example of how a paikia should look like....take a closer look...
Fucking paikia right!! But sad to say, I dont have that kinda money to transform my face into that so I guess I'll have to find a cheaper alternative. Well, I can go 77th Street to get a pair of cheapo shades that only cost $3! Very affordable eh? Ok...lets see how I'd look with a pair of shades...
Wooooooo!! Not bad...not bad at all. Ok, thats a bloody good first step.
What should I do after this? Tattoo!! Yeah man...every paikia have one or more tattoos on them. I can get free tattoo actually. There is one place near Nee Soon Camp where they will tattoo an eagle standing on a globe for you, absolutely free! I guess not many heard of this. An eagle standing on a globe is a tattoo that only members from a certain triad can have. Of cos I can't get that, though its free. I don't wanna kanna chop while eating in coffeeshops. Guess I'll have to fork out more money and go Johnny Two Thumb for my tattoo. I should look like this after getting my tattoo...
Nice bo? Look like pirate bo? Hurhur...next, I gotta get a scar on me face to make myself look as though I went thru alot of shit. Since I don't have the balls to slash meself on the face, I'll get jiaos to do it for me.
But why jiaos?
Simply because that fucker fight like a guniang when provoked. He'd use his fingernails and scratch your face when you make him really really pissed. And the only way to make him really really pissed, is to display pictures of him during those hell days in Ngeeann....
That should do it! Too small to see properly? Of cos cannot you guys see too clearly else jiaos will burst my balls for sure. With these 2 pictures, I'm sure jiaos will be damn pissed with me that he'll come scratch my face tonight. Anyway he has always been jealous that I look so much better than him so I'm sure he'll be more than happy to gimme the nick name "Scarface"....
Ok...we are almost done with that bad ass transformation.
Since paikias are always busy doing pai thai chee(bad stuffs), I doubt they have time to shave. Anyway I'm pretty tired with my clean shaven face so I guess I'll stop shaving and have stubbles. Having that is sexy leh...though it'd be uncomfortable if you rub ur face on your girlfriend's tits. Don't know how it'd feel? Try rubbing a piece of sandpaper on your asscheeks and see how it feels like...
Ok...lets take a final look after that complete paikia transformation...I should look somewhat like this....
How? Nice bo? Can bo? Hurhur...I can see some of you drooling over my new makeover look leow wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahaha!! Ok...you are not. Fuck...I'm so bo liao right? Ya..cos I'm really bo liao...ok lets see how I'll look if I dont shave for 6 months..I'll most probably look like this....
Hi, my name is Oninama Bin Kaninaden
Mmm see sian meh~~~~ Eh...I better save this before limpeh click publish post...
Hey, wadaya know? Maybe I'll star in the next Pirates Of The Carribbean, taking over Johnny Depp wahahahaha~ The latter can do another kids movie and maybe can call it, Charlie And The White-Chocolate Factory this time....
Courtesy of KS hehehehehehe...
No comments:
Post a Comment