Alright baby!!!! I'm back in action!!! My laptop's finally back and it like totally brand new hahahhaa....Ya, my brother asked his friend to help me fix the damn com and he actually took the effort to clean it up. The laptop look like its been to the shithole and back before my brother send to his friend for repair. Alright man!!! I miss its soft keyboard and brilliant internal speakers hehehe...so nice when you reappreciate things that you own. '

I'm like so busy restoring its past beauty that I forgotten to take my breakfast. By the time my mom nagged at me for the 2334341253245 time, its already past high tea time. Nevertheless my breakfast still taste, well, tastable hehe....When you're happy, it doesn't matter wat goes into your mouth, it'll just taste nice. Anyway I had an informal meeting with my lawyer and he suggested I go see a shrink. He's worried that I might be suffering from some post accident trauma, and it'd be best if someone were to assess my condition. He asked if I've been crying to myself, feeling depressed, frustrated with everything etc etc. Well, I do feel like crying at times but nah, I didnt actually cry. And the last time I ever felt like crying is many many months back, when everything looks kinda misty. I've been frustrated so often that I've lost count. Every now and then I'll get mood swings...I wonder those close to me ever felt those moments? Anyway my family is kinda conservative and I find it hard to tell them all these things. They would go "dont anyhow imagine things...you are fine" or "come on be strong now, dont be like a small kid". Ya I can relate to that, they just want the best for me and those were words of encouragement instead of trying to put you down with it. But its the reason why I dont feel like telling them whats in my mind too. Life is so confusing...you know who are the people that care but you just can't bring yourself to tell them your problems. Why? Because you care too. You don't want them to worry about you, but sometimes you just think they care too much till they don't wanna try understanding your situations. To them, seeing a shrink is like you are on the verge of going cuckoo. And chinese are very against these ideas. They though by not talking about it, the problem won't arise. Ok lar, I don't think I am going bonkers but sometimes I do feel like talking to someone who would just try to listen to me talking. When the lawyer said to me, "Lloyd, you can't make people understand what you're going thru because they are not you. No one will understand what you are going thru except you. And my job here is to get back what you deserve, and you have to tell me and/or the shrink what you are going thru all these while. Keeping mum won't get you anywhere." Oh man, for that moment I feel like he's so much better than those who kept telling me they understand how I feel and know what I am going thru. I'm so disgusted with this kinda formality. Maybe lawyers are trained in this aspect. They know how to talk and open you up. Anyway he say he's gonna book me an appointment with the shrink and I'm actually looking forward to it. Someone who will just listen to you and not try to understand how you feel and what you are going thru cos you will never never know how it is like, until you went thru it yourself. Maybe he will try to analyze you later on but at least he listen to you but he's not eager to make any comments or remarks. But still, kudos to those who stood by me all this while...