I've just recieved a sms that said one of my long lost friend is going over to China to work + staying there for good. I merely replied "Oh ok...". I wonder if I've really changed. I use to be so bubbly, so full of enthusiasm, so warm, so fun to be with. Now everything seems kinda dull to me. Nothing seems to excited me or bring me down. Or am I constantly down? No idea. Ah yap told me about the stupid things I did during the poly days and I can remember none. Fuck, I'm so depressed these days that I really get fuck up mood swings now and then. Ok, back to the friend who's leaving for good. His nick was goofy by the way. Didnt get to see him for at least 2 years now if I didnt recall wrongly. Not really a close friend but he's more than just an acquaintance. Had some crazy time with him and the other guys but can barely recall what are the crazy stuffs we did. Mike the frog called me just now and ask if I'm going for his farewell dinner at Newton this coming Saturday. I really dunno, I'm having this phobia of seeing old friends. I don't think I'll go, not even Mike's wedding in September. I think its silly just to gather because someone is going somewhere for good, or someone is getting married. If not, nobody bothers to gather at all. Why do you need special occasion to get together and have a few beers along with some dishes? Why cant people do this slightly more often than seldom? Oh, because if we do this too often then "special occasion" like this one will be rendered as "specialless"? Because you get to see the someone too often? "Quite ridiculous", I thought. Ok maybe I'm being critical but how about looking at it this way; When someone's around you, you'll think, "oh, he's staying somewhere near me so I can ask him out whenever I want", and you didnt. When he's leaving, you'll think "oh...its gonna be hard meeting up with him next time so I better do so while he's still around". What is this? Facts of life? You think so? Or is this "taken for granted" thing coming into the picture once again? I'm not whinning, I'm just joting down whatever flashes thru my mind when I got that message. When someone(I'm talking about people who you call "friends") is around we seldom pay attention to their existence, maybe some, not all. When they are leaving, everybody go hoo haa over it just because you call him a "friend". Nonsense isnt it? Only when someone's leaving then you try to get nostalgic for a good few hours with him. Fuck, this is digusting. I don't think I'll be going, I've got phobia meeting long lost friend now and it sucks to answer their enquires.

Everyone is taking off in their life and I'm still sitting down here idling away. Who the fuck cares, I'm not aiming to be in the top level in life so I guess I'll just slack my life away. Got an email from someone I dunno and I find the attachments quite nice so I would like to share it with you guys. Sorry to those who can't read chinese because you're too lazy to learn your own heritage. Look up in a chinese dictionary if you dunno some words, that is if you still bother....






















Quite relevant for me at my age where everybody's settling down. How about you?