Just watched this documentary on channel news asia about a girl in china who had uteris cancer. She have to go thru those laser treatment every month and she feel really tired after that. Ever since she had cancer, she started losing weight drastically and is constantly feeling weak and tired. She weeps every now and then because she can no longer be like the others. She doesn't have the strength to even go for a movie. She started losing hair because of the treatment and has to wear a wig. She cry and cry whenever she think of the things she use to do. She doesn't know when she'll recover. She doesn't know when she can go out like the others again. She doesnt know how much longer she have to be like this. She can only watch tv at home, move around the house is also a tedious task. She doesn't know when she's going to die. I feel somewhat like her. Though I am much better than her, I can still go out and I know I will definitely recover, but the way she speak her mind touches me. Her mom's constantly reminding her to have confident in herself and be more positive. It sounds like her mom is telling me as well. I do feel fucking down at times, thinking of the fun, joy and freedom I'm missing. I know there are alot of people who are concern about me out there, but this feeling always come whenever I miss certain ocassion due to my injuries. Nevertheless, this feeling only last for not more than a day, and thank goodness, I think I'm slowly picking myself up again. I'm starting to appreciate myself better. I know I'm better than alot of people out there and I feel better, alot better. I try not to let this feeling bring me down and even if it succeed bringing me down, it wont last more than a day. I'm feeling good now, after reassuring myself with this entry.


But I wonder how long will it last.....