The shrink told me being sianz is having self pity. Because you cannot accept the fact that you have nothing to do. You cannot accept the way things are and so you're sian. Humans are constantly comparing themselves with someone on top of them. Nobody go around comparing themselves to the less fortunate. Who would be thankful that they can walk? Maybe some do but i can say 98% of the population take alot of things for granted. No ordinary people will know how to appreciate the things that most people are doing everyday. We say thanks to having things to eat etc etc, but are we really thankful? We're taking alot of things for granted. Alot of you are taking things for granted without realising it. I am too, I didnt say I'm not. You cannot accept the kinda things that are going around you thats why you're filled with hatred. You dunno why are these things happening to you and not others because you refuse to accept that fact. So what if you cant accept? Ever think of the worst scenario? What if the thing you're experiencing now, is not the worst? Then how are you going to handle somthing worse? You cant say this is the worst leow cos you wont know what lies ahead. Fuck lar...I know all this shit. Knowing and accepting it is two totally different matter. I hate the shrink cos he's disappointing. He thought I'm just your average guy who doesnt know what the fuck is going on. I feel like telling him off. I feel like showing him who's the real Oracle but I know by doing that I might make him commit suicide that very night. Nevermind, I don't have to convince him anyway, I'll just let him say what he wants and earn his living. I need someone who's more convincing than this soya bean dude. I need someone who can change mah mindset. Dont tell me its up to me. I know its up to me, but I need something or someone to drive me into making me accept myself. I'm talking nonsense? Of cos of cos....I am whatever you say I am....if I wasn't, then why would I say I am?