I dunno wat struck me, but i'm in a rebellious mood now. Everything i see, listen, taste, smell, feel are irritating me. I wanna offend everyone i can. I dont give a shit who u r or wat r u, i just wanna give u my middle finger and a piece of my mind. I'm so irritated now. I dunno why. Anger and depression are engulfing me right now. I just realise how fuck up this country is today. I dont believe i said those things to my friends. I actually knew wats going on all along, but was too engross with other things till it slip off my mind. Who the fuck invented currencies? Who the fuck started this government shit? Who gives them the right to rule over us? Why are we so obedient? Why?? Why is the society made up of idiots? Why cant someone invent some medicine of some sort so there wont be anymore idiots around us? Why so many whys? DO u think u're an idiot too? Well, i think i am. Idiotic enuff to be still living in this stupid country. Tats it man i tell u, u r not going anywhere at all if this continue. You better come up with something to get urself out of this pool of shit. Its no place for us peasants. Peasants suppose to live in some remote area. Peasants only deserves to eat sweet potatoes. The only entertainment peasants are allowed to have is sex. Peasants arent allowed to live up to 30 yrs. Wat the fuck am i toking? I got no fucking idea too...i'm just a peasant wat do u expecT?

Harlow everybody! Miss me? Havent got the time to blog these few days cos my friends kept bringing me out. Yest went down bishan coffeebean to have coffee and then to amk to have lor mee then selegie to play pool. Exciting huh? More like exhausting....Anyway playing pool on a wheelchair is a drag. Not only u halt the other pple around u when u moving to where u wanna hit, but it restrict u from potting the ball u want cos the angle is just so impossible for u. Anyway the stares from other pple is enuff to kill. I left after playing a few games, with my friend (chow curly) picking me up and sending me home. He called me awhile ago, asking me whether i wanna go out or not. Feel kinda bad rejecting him just becos my other friend already plan to ask me out today. Hope he knows that i'm not taking him as a spare friend, just that time like this, someone has to be disappointed...oh well, guess he knows wat i mean, i hope. Jiaos is here leow, blog somemore later tonite...ciaos..

I kept thinking i'm evolving. Evolving into some kinda freakshow that simply hates everything. Ah yes, was telling my friend the other day that i keep thinking i was somehow teleported into this dimension i am now ever since the accident. Everything seems to be so unusual to me. The smell of tobacco, the sound of motorcycles, the way buildings look like. Its just so different. Did i tell u guys i was in a daze for 2 weeks when i woke up from the operation? I cant rem wat went on during that period. My mom told me i was uttering nonsense for a kewl 2 weeks before i regain my usual self. Weird. I'm conscious already yet i dunno wat i was doing. Then one day i just woke up and find myself lying on the hosp bed. Ask my mom why was i here and she told me i had an accident. And i think i was still dreaming. Haha...and i still think i am, at times. This cant be real. Or at least i hope its not real.


Somehow i see the changes in me. Not as in the way i behave or wat. The kind of things i tot of nowadays are so much different. I dunno in wat ways but its just diff. I begin to like abstract thinking. I see things in an extreme way. I begin to like weird things, things that i cant understand at all. Wat do u know? There might be alot of dimensions with alot of u. Something devastating happen and u are being teleported into another dimension with the same pple ard u in the previous one. Some kinda identity change. This is complicating? Maybe i illustrate abit more. Say there is this lloyd 1 lloyd 2 lloyd 3 in their respective dimension. One day something happen to them all at the same time. Then lloyd 1 went into lloyd's 2 dimension and lloyd 2 went into lloyd's 3 dimension and lloyd 3 went in lloyd's 1 dimension, so on and so for. So here i am, in lloyd's 2 dimension where everything seems to be the same but there's still abit of diff. Thats wat i've been thinking all these while. In another dimension with the previous dimension's memories. Maybe the lloyds in the other dimension are wondering abt this too. Maybe when i have the marnie i might wanna make a movie base on this weird concept of mine. Or maybe i can sell this idea to wat Raintree Production, right here in Singapore. And they might just outshine Steven Spielberg for once.



Been wanting badly to go to the movies. Tat is wat i use to do with my ex in da past. After work we would go for a show at Plaza Sing or Orchard Cineleisure or Lido. By then i was so tired that i fell asleep in the middle of the movie, regardless how exciting the movie was. Maybe i just wanna go in to catch some sleep...haha...anyway movie is like u watch urs i watch mine and we dont bother one another during the show. So even if i'm not watching it doesnt bother u at all. Maybe i like sleeping in the cinema? I hate my laptop. The Home key is too close to the Backspace key. Everytime i wanna backspace i would accidentally hit that darn key and my cursor will always land into nowhere. Fuck.....feeling sleepy....go get mahself a cup of coffee...

Went to Fish and Co. today with friends. Been there twice only and its with mah ex. Nice fish and chip, calamari, prawns, mussles etc etc. I like their butter rice, really tasty! Suppose to go there with my gf but she turn into my ex before i can even bring her there..wahahha...dohz...The things there r still more or less the same, but the person u go with are different now. I feel that i keep on repeating the things i do, but with different pple. Maybe the things that can be done in singapore are so limited till i felt this way. I made up my mind already, as long as i get a chance to work oversea, i'll just do it. I cant stand the sight of singapore anymore. Everywhere i go i can see the kiasuism being put into practise. Fuck man...even when they walk they doesnt wanna give way to someone in wheelchair. So sick. Fuck those singaporeans. Really feel like fucking them up at times....machiam rushing to die like that....fuck those idiots.


I slept really late last nite or really early this morning. 6am then go to bed. My mom and bro went to some fish market 2am last nite. Really damn good siah. So i wait up for them to get home, meanwhile smoke while everyone is asleep~ wahahaha~ then mah sis came outof the room all of a sudden but luckily she didnt see me smoking. Phew! Tat fag i only puff 2 mouth leh kaoz...there goes mah 3.3 cents. Mom got back at ard 4am with 5 crabs and a few little sharks. Kewl! The crabs are now crawling in my stomach leow...tomorrow will be the little sharks turn to swim in mah stomach~ hahahha...the meat of these little sharks are abit like stingray when cooked. I like the way mah mom cooks it with dao xi, some bean paste la....really darn nice. Slept till 2pm today...wahahaha..its been a long time since i woke up at this hour. Anyway feel kinda tired too even when i'm awake. Looks like i have sorta adjust back from mah nocturnal lifestyle. The router is not working anyway so i am on 28.8kps connection again. Maybe i'll write again tomorrow. Never know wats gonna happen when u r on dialups.

Is this a good time to blog or wat? Just finish eating mah ipoh hor fun, the rain stop leow and its so cooling now, i'm alone in the living room again cos the rest are either out or sleeping, irc got no idiots to make a fool out of, my fav songs are being played~ So perfect it seems, but still something is missing...ya...fag...Well, was actually quite sleepy but i just couldnt seems to fall asleep when i lie down. My friends are enjoying the sun in sentosa since this morning (i think), hope it didnt rain or it will be a major disappointment. Wonder if i'm not crippled like i am now, would i go? Hmm...dun think so, its just so...not me, to join this kinda gathering. I rather sit down and have a cup of coffee in coffeeshop instead. I use to bbq alot when i was still in poly, kinda fun leh. But as u grow older, it seems impossible to gather pple out for one nice gathering. Everybody is so busy with their own commitments and things like that. Is that the same to everyone everywhere or izzit just in Singapore? If we were in some ulu ulu province in Southern China (wat Moses lim use to say in Under One Roof), would it be much simpler in demands and expectations? All we ask for everyday might be a few corns, some sweet potatoes, and maybe occationally a few grains of rice. Life would be so much simple then, with no headaches and worries, dont have to stress urself out for the next car loan payment, dont have to worry about ur credit card bills, dont even have to care abt wat GST or the increment of public transport. You might get a better picture when u get married and have a family to feed. All this, i suppose, are the reasons why there are lesser and lesser pple getting married nowadays. My brother was telling me this the other day when we recieve our cpf updates. He said, "Peng! I can finally afford the toilet! I got 52k in my ordinary account!". I know its a joke, but quite depressing to hear that joke. Makes me wonder, when will i be able to afford even the toiletbowl? I guess most of u will say everything will be straighten out when the time comes. Very optimistic thinking but sorry, by then u would lose almost half of ur hair for brooding and over stressing urself. This is not a discouraging blog but just a personal view of the life we are leading now. I dont think i will wanna continue staying in Singapore and if i can, would like to try out somewhere else where the pace is not tat fast and the demands are not that great. Maybe the ulu ulu province in Southern China suits me better.....or it wont? No idea...

Here i am again! Yeah baybehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~ Becos feels like saying things to no one except mahself...heh...You guys ever offend someone unknowingly? Or simple just cant stand that someone becos he/she is doing something u dont like? I'm sure u have at least once, or maybe more than once. I think someone hates me becos of wat i am, which i dunno wat. Maybe its becos of wat i do and wat i did not do. In another word, they just hate me...heh..Of cos lar, you cant please everybody, or can u? Gotta accept the fact that not everybody is brought up the same way and have the same wavelength. We do have our differences and we dont always agree on the things one another do. So there i goes, i cant stand them as much as they cant stand me. But i just keep my opinion of them to mahself and i do hope they keep their opinion of me to themselves, which obviously they cant.


Maybe i did gossip abt them abit lar....i gotta admit that. But its with close friends of mine. Ok ok....talking behind someone's back is bad...i know i know. But since some of my friend dont even know who the hell are them, wat harm will it do rite? As for the others who knows them, we just kinda agree with each others opinions. Heh...if one person can have a wrong impression of u, a bunch of pple cant make the same mistake. Anyway its just my opinion, and i dont go round telling pple wat kinda arse u are. So spare me with this crap from u, i dont need it. And oh ya, if u think by u can get back at me by making stupid remarks or mocking me, think again. Becos u r just as naive as those kids playing with marbles downstairs...they get back at those pple who won their marbles by insulting their parents. Oh they dont play marbles nowadays? Gee....even kids are getting better than u nowadays....

Ahh...good morning good afternoon good nite good gracious to everybody who is reading this. I dunno wat time u read it so i guess i'll just good everything. I'm kinda amaze with the amount of time i need to sleep. Slept at 4am last nite and got up 10am this morning. 6 hours....hmm....not as little as i've tot...actually 6 hours is quite ample already....I dunno wat i'll be doing today cos its still quite early...not even 2pm.


I read the newspaper this morning when i was shitting. There is this guy who was diagnose with nose cancer and its the result of late treatment. Now the cancer is in its terminal stage all becos he doesnt wanna go see the doc immediately when he feel giddy and pain in the groin area. All becos he wants to witness the birth of his kid. And now maybe he will only get to see the kid for just another few mths or so. Tragic. If only he can think further, having able to see his kid grow up, getting married and things like that, and go get treatment earlier, this kinda tragic story wouldnt have happen. Moral of the story? Plan far ahead, dont just look at the joy u'll be getting now, but the kinda things u will lose in the future. Maybe its time i really really quit smoking. Speaking for mahself....sheesh...


Friends and family, which come first for u? Friends? Family? Most of us would definitely choose the latter one i suppose. But we r just saying that, do we really meant wat we say? I ask this question becos my friends wanna come find me for coffee tonite and have an enjoyable evening toking cocks. In the other hand my bro is planning to bring me and my mom out to have our dinner, but he havent confirm yet. So i'm caught in the middle. I dunno if i should just ask my friends not to come today cos i am going out with my family, but my bro cant confirm things now. Stressed. So i ask him to call me first before he come, hopefully my bro can make up his mind by then. Of cos, if my bro wanna bring me and mom out to eat, i'll definitely go with them. Kewl, i'm so good in time management....for once....

I went to amk today for coffee with another of my partner. Was toking about the other friend of mine who wants to take up this part time course in TMC. Its not tat i dont encourage him to do so but he seems to be having problems handling his language properly. I didnt say mine is fantastic or wat, just that he's having problem spelling simple english. Think he should take up some english courses to at least brush up with his spelling. I think i might need that too... Anyway it rain heavily when i was in amk, and i was forced to go home late...heh...went down to paragon's coffeeclub express to meet up another friend of mine, who was suppose to be in some kinda channel outing. Was kinda stressed up cos i wasnt ready to meet strangers. Nevertheless we had to go cos i was quite urgent...So there we were, sitting down there and enjoying our rambutan freeze. It taste kinda weird....maybe its not rambutan season yet and those are left overs from the previous months. Anyway the rest of the gang arrived and there's this whole chunk of them, 8-9 i think....and this friend of mine is not really good at introducing peeps so i only got to know this ger who stayed behind with us. Her name is Geradine (i got to know that later from my friend cos i didnt catch her clear enuff) and is studying some kinda law courses in temasek polytechnics. Didnt really get to tok much with her but she seems to be quite a cute ger. Haha...was kinda surprise why she didnt ask wat happen to me. Darn those idiots who cant stop staring at me. I always feel like an exhibit when i'm out. Some pple just dont have simple courteous at all. I'm starting to hate this stupid country....or island .


Time really flies when u are enjoying urself. Before i know, its already 11 when i got home. Today my mom cook my favourite dish!! Yay!!! Gong bao ji ding again, or dice chicken with dried chili. Had one big bowl of rice with just that single dish. Full. Bloated. Feels like shitting so there i go again. I shit an amazing 3 times today. Quite a record ever since i got home from the hosp. Usually its once in the morning and thats all. Wahahaha....


I wonder, must we show some anger to somebody before they realise wat they are doing is wrong? Cant they just have some common sense in them? Is there any school that teaches common sense? I would like to enroll a few friend of mine for that course, please, thank u. Just so fucking tired to tok sense into some. They just dont get the fucking picture. Anyway i think i am going out again tomorrow, so i better have an early nite.....or rather an early morning....nite.

Things been getting pretty tense online. The amount of humour pple can take everyday is dropping to a critical level. I'm branded with this chinese idiom when i joke with one of them. She said i hua4 zhong1 you3 ci4 and i cong4 zhe4 her.....it simply means that i got hidden meanings in my words and i'm treating her like some kinda punching bag. I just wonder why would i wanna do that to someone whom i got no dealings with, no relation with, not even contact. Maybe she thinks that sitting at home is too boring and she is just someone whom i can entertain myself with for a couple of hours. Then again, I would rather go toilet to wank than to insult her or humiliate her. Some pple are just not worth to humilate or insult becos they just dont seem to get the message. Its pointless. Did i insult her again? Sorry....i didnt do that on purpose. Maybe its me lar. Its seems to be me all the time....my so call jokes are turning out to be too overwhelmingly hard to swallow nowadays. But think of it this way, if the things u think i am referring didnt happen at all, why should u think that i am referring to that? Get my pt? If u r conscious with certain things i am referring to, then u r just linking urself up with the things i say wat. So somehow its all in u. U r the one who is against ur own. If u r with a clear conscious, why bother abt wat hidden meaning i have in my sentence?
Are u afraid of certain things that someone say to u? If u r, ask urself wat u have done...the problem might lie deep within u.

Argh, just dont like the ideas of watching wat to say and wat not to say online. Suppose to be really carefree speaking in one of those chat program. Seems to me meeting up with pple is such a big mistake. If i dun meet them in the first place, i wouldnt know who the hell they are. And i wouldnt have to really care much abt their feelings. I guess i'll just have to watch my words with those pple whom i meet before. And to those whom i havent meet up with, well, i'll also have to watch mah words for the time being. Till i can find something else better to do than irc that is.

And maybe we're kids who've grown...and maybe not....kewl song. I love suede...they r just so kewl with their brand of music and singing style. "Chemistry Between Us" and "Into The Sea" are just among a few of my fav suede's hit. It bring back good old memories these songs. Listen to them when i was still an army boy. Played the same old disc day in day out in mr armourer workshop. Thats where i pick up smoking too...Its kind of an enjoyment when u r sitting there all alone with one fag and listening to their song. So soothing....Well, being alone is not that bad afterall....just as long u get some shit to do....like FAGGING! wooooohooooooo~


Had a long tok with my friend last nite. My so call "Partner" in business term but i've always regard him as a close friend. Business failed and he is working for my ex staff's dad. His dad sell chicken rice and my friend is helping out in the stall. How life make jokes at us...at first u r mah staff, next moment i am working for ur dad in a chicken rice store. He told me that its boring working down there....cos all the people around him are old folks and they dont have anything much to tok about at all. He's thinking of a job change, some signboard cleaner or things like tat. And he's thinking of taking up nite courses right now. He only studied till sec 2 and wat can u do with just a sec 2 education in singapore? Maybe there is lar...but this kinda job doesnt give u much future. Somehow i felt it was me who landed him into this kinda shit now. If it wasnt me, he might still be in coffeebean working as floor manager and taking home $1500 every mth...or maybe more. Though its him who came to me, telling me he's interested to venture into the business with me, but its still me who came up with this fuck up idea. Maybe its just luck...maybe its just bad economics......maybe its just...me....


i feel like going downstairs for a roll and fag at the same time. Its just so bored staying at home and type type type till the sun goes down. I hate this kinda life..this is not life.. this is....this is....torment....depression...sufferings.....this is worse than hell.

That gal whom fake all the way came toking to me today. Nothing much, just trying to show me who's the boss, i suppose. Ahh...not sure wat kinda problem she has, but its certainly not mine. Anyway i think wat my friend said is correct...we shouldnt be so niao with our "compliments". These pple just trying their luck here and there. Didnt really bother with her. I just show her my "coldness" like wat my friend is doing to her bf now...haha...She reckons i got nothing more to tok to her and she left with a hurried bye bye. Kewl~ The MAN 1 the packs of lies gal 0. I win. I dont feel great at all....becos i've already been made a fool......


Was thinking of wat phone to get cos this 8310 of mine is as good as a piece of shit. Everytime i need to send a bloody long sms the hp just die on me. And i gotta re enter the whole thing once again. Sometimes i would get so fed up that i decides to just call that fellar i am smsing to. For you pple who thinks why cant we call instead of smsing, pls help me by buying my phone. You dont see the pt of smsing anyway. Get from me...cheap cheap....$350 niah.....samsumg t100 seems to be nice, any comments on that one? I dont wanna get nokia phones already...i'm so disappointed with their quality control...not say i never repair my phone. All they did is just upgrade the software inside. And? Still the same old fuck problem. Maybe i going to get the new one this weekend....just maybe...most likely i wont be able to make up my mind by then.....fickle minded...

Its a wonder how bad mood can last. Woke up ard 8 this morning and cant seems to go back to sleep anymore. Been thinking quite abit while i'm still in bed. Cant recall wat i tot of already...doesnt matter anymore...


Had a weird dream last nite. I dream tat my gf left me for another friend whom i havent seen for ages. I forgot details about the dream already...just something like i saw this friend of mine picking up this gf of mine at her workplace. Heh...doesnt matter lar...she's not mah gf already afterall. Its raining outside, and my mom is still at the market. Its been quite awhile i ever felt this way..the low and demoralising mood. Guess heaven knows it too, thats why the rain. There is so much time with nothing left to do. Anyway, thats about it for now...

Still quite pissed with wat happened just now. Maybe i shouldnt be this pissed. Afterall its just humans. If you cant beat them, join them. Nah, i think i'll just be straight from this day onwards. Is hypocritism really that essential to stay alive in this society? Wonder is that the reason why no one seems to hate me ever. Maybe i myself is a hypocrite without knowing i am one. And i seems to be fucking good at it too. Seems like none hate me for any reason at all. I'm master in this field. I rule~! Fuck....life stinks really....it stinks..

U know? Its ok that u dont come pay me a visit, you dont even have to call to show ur concern abt me, i dont really give a damn la fuck. Just fucking forget abt it ok? Just dont come and tell me how fucking busy u r or how fucking sorry u r for me. I dont need this shit. Just carry on and be your "i dont give a damn" shit....FUCKING HYPOCRITES. Why am i saying this? Becos some freak just fucking pissed me off by relaying someone's consolation. I said i dont need consoles and such and he fucking come tell me thats why he didnt console me this and that. But on the other hand, he's been telling me he cant come pay me a visit or come have coffee with me cos he is FUCKING BUSY. Tats rite, fucking busy indeed. Where pple can come all the way from bedok just to have a cup of coffee with me, this fucking idiot is just staying at yio chu kang area (i stay in yishun). I just hate it la...dont see the pt coming just say dont see the point la, why must fucking give excuses? I think we r living with hypocrites. Maybe u might say excuses are given cos they dont wanna hurt u by telling u the truth. I aint no idiot and i dont think i'm gonna be one. Who the hell will believe he doesnt even have the time at all for 1 fucking day. 1 single fucking day niah and he aint got the time....fuck la....just dont come and fucking tell me u busy with this and that...


This is the worse nite i had for months. Never felt so fuck up for months. Chow cheebye....just fucking fed up with the character and personality of some. Some tot they r some big fucks or something like that. Ahh....one is bad enuff...and get to tok to this ger for nites and she's been lying with me all this while. Fuck, keep on lying abt things and she thinks she is doing nothing wrong. Ya la...u can say watever u want, u dont have to pay a single cent for saying it. Ahh fuck...tonite is just not mah nite. Really feels like shit now if u know wat i mean. I need fags. I always need them when i am feeling like shit. To hell with all those cancer shit or watsoever, i dun intend to live that long anyway....

Its been a hectic day. Busy faxing to various gov sector to terminate this and that account. Finally done that, now just have to wait for their confirmation. Never seems a hassle when i'm applying for these account. Seems such a drag to terminate them now. Ironic. Yest my friend jiaos push me all the way back from northpoint. Not that far la....but still need 3 busstops to get from northpoint to my place. Must be hard on him but hey, wat are friends for? Gum xia jiaos...heh...


Was having a good time with him yest, along with two friends. Gossip alot abt the things happenining in irc. Darn funny. Then the two of us play "wilson" in irc, sending pple the pic of that volleyball in the show Cast Away. Vivi help me crop the file later on, onto its evil twin the worldcup ball. Haha...wilson looks better now...and bigger. If only i can show u pple the pic down here. Ahh....funny...really like playing this kinda silly pranks on those pple who know me..but few actually get the joke cos they didnt watch that show. Such a good idea, but werent appreciated by pple. Everyone say its being lame. Come on man, cant u pple sit down and enjoy a harmless joke? We r becoming a senseless society. Heartless and senseless. We r going backwards in the Great Evolution. We r becoming animals once again....

Its the time of the day when i say good nite to everyone once again. Its nice to end the day without achieving anything once more. Wat else can i hope for? I get to fag 2 sticks today and i'm already grateful. Jiaos might be coming down to find me eat kentucky with him. Might be...who knows...this gf shit might get caught in the middle once more....Its always the same sad case, regardless who ur friends are....they always try to fix something up with ya at first, then halfway thru the gf/bf call and he/she had to cancel the things they plan with u earlier on, or gotta leave earlier...maybe once my good friends got themselves a gf/bf, i'll just severe ties with them. So that i can excuse myself from the same "my gf/bf needs me" shit......Maybe jiaos is not as worse as the rest, but this is the kinda changes i get from a friend who've been with me all these while without a gf. Hmm....its time i adapt to the changes.....or i already have? Beats me...all the best to u jiaos....

I got ban again...wat the fuck....i mean irc la...They start having this word kickban thing in the channel i frequent and those without a + or @, will get kick ban when ur word contain these mines. Its meant to kickban those pple who advertise in that channel. I say this is clowning man....You can simply ignore those who advertise and ask for sex in the main...dont have to do this kinda dumb shit wordkick ban thing. If i still have to watch the things i said online, i think its gonna lose its beauty soon enuff. I mean, come on man....who the fuck bear responsible for the things they say online? Maybe there are some dumb fucks who do la....but afterall its just some public toilet which u go in pee and shit and leave the god damn place. Really sad with those who take this virtual shit so seriously. Hey, you dont luff, such pple do exist...Anyway, may u pple who take things so seriously in irc burn in hell. Hell is the place to learn how not to take things too seriously...


The weather is getting from warm to really warm again. I kinda miss the life i had in the hosp. Its airconditioned and i can afford to go on weeks without bathing, and i did. Haha...gross but its true....didnt bathe for at least 1 week. But i dont stink or feel itchy or wat....cos its so cooling inside that i didnt even have the chance to sweat. The smell of the med cover the weird smell everybody carries. Or thats why hosp stinks. Maybe thats not the smell of the med that stinks, maybe its a consolidation of weird smell from armpits to the groins of pple who didnt bathe for weeks, even mths! Gross....dunno why...just hate going to hosp...


I hate it when someone toks to me while i'm trying to do something. I mean i am infront of mah laptop and i'm typing. Obviously i need concentration, regardless wat i'm doing. I am writing things that going on mah mind rite now. I'm not that good till i can answer your question while i am trying to think of wat to blog. Argh...he's asking me how come this and that again....He's kinda...computer idiot cos he's reluctant to learn it in the past. So my 2nd bro got him a 2nd hand pc to begin with since he show interest now. And he's asking me about computer stuff more frequent nowadays. I mean i dont mind telling him things he dunno, but choose a time when i'm not doing anything mah....think i go teach him leow la...cant concentrate at all...

i got up before 9 this morning.....but the inspiration are nowhere to be found. So wat do u do during this locked up period vivi? any suggestion? Clueless...must be...same goes here...Its been 4 over months ever since i lost my ability to move around freely...i wonder if the fishes i keep feels the same...maybe i should just release them into the big canal behind my block...


Wat am i going to do today....hmm...no idea...life is so boring. How i wish i'm still serving ns. I think i'm more use to living with a huge bunch of pple. Got lotsa things to do when u are with you fellow comrades. We play risk together...we disturb the 302 (guys who think that they are gals).....even fagging seems to be more meaningful when there's someone to puff the dragon with ya......really got nothing to whine about this morning....maybe later....

Don't really feel like blogging today...feels kinda lethargic...must be the effect from yesterday...Smuggle a pack of fag home just now...kewl...tomorrow will have an inspirational morning....continue again tomorrow dudes and dudettes...

Damn....today is a fucking tired day....though i didnt move a single muscle...but wasting brain power itself is tiring enuff. Today is the official move out day for my shop. Was thinking of not blogging today cos really darn tired.....but wat the heck....for u faithful fans~ nothing to too tired to blog for u guys~ cos i love u guys~ but nothing much today...i did nothing all day except sitting there telling pple wat to do and wat to throw...Abit frustrating la...cos everyone say this one i want that want i want also, then end up they didnt take the fucking thing and keep. After dumping every useless things, the things they said they want is still lying down there....fuck up rite? But since they r there to lend me a helping hand...i cant scream at them also....feel frustrated thats all...heh


Ahh.....the so call "nutritious soup for ur bone" is lying rite infront of me again. It smell weird (they all do) and it taste even weirder (its true!!). Wonder how many tonnes of these soup i've down already since the day i came home. I bet i down even more than the JD vivi down. It stinks....but everytime after i finish downing it, my mom gives me the sweetest smile on her face and thats worth all the yeeks and the yaksss i have before hand..i love u mom!


Had a long talk with my brother before i actually get to log on and blog. He was telling me to prefer myself mentally first so that once i recover, i am ready to adapt to the challenges waiting for me. True la...my friend russ also told me that.....my friend jiaos oso told me tat....my friend...and it goes on and on. Just dunno wat the hell is going on outside except .....erm.....nothing to except abt! Kaoz....everywhere seems so quiet, there's nothing to except abt. Got no idea wats awaiting me in the future and got no direction on where to move on to. I know friends and brothers....i know i have to move on...but tell me where to first? Oh..i gotta figure out myself u said? Kewl...thats so encouraging....my ass. If i've already figure out it myself, i dont think there's much to blog abt anymore. K k.....just gimme sometime will ya? I'll figure it la u dope .!.

kewl~! i spend almost the whole of today outside. Weird thing is, i no longer feel excited abt going out. Really leh...seems kinda troubling pple all the while. Go where also need someone to push. And once again, cant do anything at all except sitting down there to la kopi. I think i wanna stop going to town after i settle everything about the shop. Tomorrow will be the last day i go down...hope no more shit happen...just wanna fucking finish the whole god damn thing.


Today was suppose to be a photo taking day. My staffs wants to take some pic of the shop to keep. So photo and photo and photo. I feel like a celebrity man...with 3 camera flashing at me....kewl~! But seems like not much pple interested to take pic with me....i think i stink or wat...especially the gals...dunno paiseh wat....ah...continue later on...now messages coming from all over the place...

weeeeeeeee~ i'm doing this on my laptop now...just got it back from my ex yesterday and was busy clearing up her stuff all nite yest. All kinds of shit found inside...most prob is her sis's stuff. Feel kinda sad actually...i dunno if i really do love her but i think, i like her alot. Darn cute she is....hmm....i feel that i tok as if i'm the Yoda in starwars.
Oh well, her reason of breaking up were clear and simple. The feeling's not there already. I wonder if all gals that age break up with more or less the same kinda reason. I broke mah leg and of cos i cant go out pak tor with her, unless she wanna push me ard la...So there she goes, becos the time of meeting up get lesser, the feeling slowly fades away...crap...but since thats her reason, nothing i can do about it. My other ex also write me a letter in the past and the content more or less its the same. She was 19 then. Hahaha...my friend mocked me saying that i always go for xiao mei mei....dunno why also...i seems to be attracted by them and they seems to be attracted to me too....maybe i've been longing to be someone's daddy and they long for a daddy like me....thats why...hahaha


From a 17" monitor to a mere 14.1" screen is a big difference for a sudden. Last nite was having a hard time reading the screen. I went out in the noon yest to have lunch with chow curly and gf. He bring me to see fishes after that. I wasnt that interested in fishes by the way...its all becos of my mom thats why i went to look at the fishes. Never like keeping any pets...always find them a hassle. Never get a chance to log into internet cos my brother was busy upgrading his pc all day. Dunno wat i did yest, just doing nothing i suppose. When its finally up and running, my friend called and say he's coming down to fetch me out a ride. Kewl, just wat i wanted. So there i go, a ride down to orchard to take one last look at my shop. Had a few chats with them and at the same time take a real good glance at my shop. Sunday will be our last day of operation....This place with our sweat and blood is closing down due to the bad economic we r facing now. Sux. Just my luck i suppose...just my luck. I'm going down later on to take pictures with the staff...dunno who's idea....nevermind la...take lor...for memories also...thats the place i get to know my ex too...heh



My mind came to a standstill again. Yeah, havent got any inspiration today cos i was ban from my inspiration at home. This laptop gives me the serenity...with its mp3 and its pics...all sorts....fond memories....this laptop witness 2 era....i mean 2 gf i had...dunno is that a good thing or bad thing...good thing meaning i can still attract the gals...bad thing is..well...u know...i never seems to hold any of them down...5-6 gf change in a mere 3 yrs plus.....that stinks. Dunno the reason also la...maybe i'm really a sucky bf....to hell with this bf gf thing...laptop is always the same thing, but the person i share it with is constantly changing.....sigh...

ahh....such a cooling morning;...it rain this morning...when everybody's rushing for work. Me too, i'm rushing to log in to read wat comments i got. Well...nothing much to write about this morning. My mind was blank yesterday cos i didnt get to fag for one whole day. Ok vivi, thanx for reminding me i cant fag again and again. Maybe going out today. My friend, whom i call chow curly, might be bringing me out today at the expense of a game call Warcraft 3. He wants an original one so he can hook up with other players and play together. Ok, i dont mind....since he's the one who i see more often than anyone else. He kinda kewl la...dont mind the hassle of bringing me out to here and there...having to carry my wheelchair up and down his van....anyway i dont think he mean it, that game warcraft...wat the heck..my bro wants to use the comp now...think i continue later on. ciaos.

ahh....is my blog getting boring? Seems to me everything i wrote is repeating itself again and again...life is really monotonous now. My friend sms me and he say i'm an artist. Anyone who express himself using music is an artist. Abstract. Am i? I keep asking myself. I like to read 1 book. Yes, 1 book. Its call the little prince. Kinda lost at first..dunno wat izzit toking abt. But slowly u realise that its actually toking abt personalities u get to see everyday.Ok la...not all the kind he mention inside the book u'll get to meet them. But its quite touchy too....read it.


Last nite my long lost love msg me. Heh...didnt know she still keep in touch with one of my friend. Well...also not really long lost love la...just that i get to know her in ngee ann...during the days where irc is still not pop yet. We uses Bulletin Board Service (in short call bbs) which is quite similar to irc. I got to know her there and we started chatting. I kinda fall head over heels for her during that time, and we decides to meet up. And well, things neber turn out well and somehow we lose contact of one another. Feels good when u realise that someone u forgot never forgets u. Anyway i wish her all the best in the things she do and find a good man soon. Give lotsa offsprings~ weeeeeeeeee....


Today is really boring leh.....without anything to do nor anyone to really chat with. Here i go again...dohz....neber once i find the day interesting....really monotonous wat....imagine all u can do is type type type the whole day, u will definitely feel fuck up. Anyway this thing is here for me to whine rite vivi? So i whine all i want...u dont like it i oso boh bian...dont read lor....i hate pleasing everyone...but also cannot dont please em...i aint no hermit...is that the correct spelling? Notice how we pleases one another unknowingly? Damn i hate that...yet i cant seems to stop myself from doing it...ah...please la please la....i dont wanna make life difficult for anyone as well as myself....compromising is the best policy....compromising pleases everyone....compromising will make u a better person... compromising stinks....

Once again i'm depressed. Feel so bored at home with no one to tok to. Mom is taking her nap and i'm again left alone. Lotsa pple in irc but none of them is interesting to tok to. All kinda shit happen in it everyday. Argh...Why am i so bored~? Can someone tell me? I just cant find anything interesting to do...not even playing playstation 2.

Will someone be kind enuff to bring me out? I'm really bored....this is really depressing leh....nothing to do at home. Ah....i somehow miss the days when i was still in the army. Quite like this kinda life where u stay with so many pple. And all sorts of shit to do the whole day....at least when u're bored u got pple who is bored to tok to, got pple to fuck around with those kinda thing. Ahh..I'm still bored... write this someother time.....

ok baybeh~ i get over it leow...the lost blog i write this morning....really stupid man...i got copy the blog i wrote leow but before i can paste it somewhere, i went to copy another senseless thing in irc...and fuck, i cannot click back no more in here leow..and that blog is lost forever...but its alrite la...cos its kinda depressing oso if u'd read that blog. So i guess its a blessing in disguise.


Well, reading the comment u guys write is a wonderful thing i do every morning. Thanx Jude for your encouragement(i suppose?). Yeah...at least i didnt lose my leg like ur buddy did. Thanx vivi...thanx for giving me this chance to type watever shit i want...without u, i wouldn't know where to vent my frustration. Thanx gina....for being demure all this while....for giving me such innocent and chun zhen comments to let me know there's still such cute pple around other than myself. Thanx fiancee...for without u, i will never realise my english sux and i got lotsa grammar mistake. But to tell u the truth, i dont give a damn la...i aint writing some novel or wat so to hell with this grammar mistake. To the other pple i dunno who do contribute to the comments...for without u, i wouldnt know there are pple who even bother to read the shit that's coming out from mah arse. Thanx.

wah lan...i wrote one fucking long blog got lost becos of cock up in this website...cheebye!!! but nevermind...kinda sad blog so its ok if i lost it...heh....my fish die leow anyway....stupid prawns...must be they stab him to death...nevertheless, i am going to buy her another one later on...so stay tune!

ok....my day just pass like tat once again....kinda differ from the rest of the daYs but more or less it pass at the same pace...wonder why time pass so slow when u got nothing to do....oh well...like i say earlier on, my friend drove me out today and yeah, i do enjoy it cos at least the pple i see is different, the coffee i drink taste different, even the air smell different...but there's one thing still da same...ya...i'm still sitting on the same old shitty wheelchair which i've been sitting for 4 mths. This is really depressing....its like..we were discussing wat to do later on, my friends and i, and we got no fucking idea cos i'm a drag to everyone...i cant play pool, i cant go to the movies, i cant play bowling(though i never like it, but thats beside the pt)...i cant do no shit but sit at coffeeshop to drink coffee...its demoralising when its becos of you, everyone cant do anything at all. so there i am....sit down at bedok for coffee, then to bishan coffeebean for coffee...then again its bishan coffeeshop for coffee again....never seems to be so boring to me when it comes to sitting in coffeeshop and toking to friends...but somehow this kinda changes today...IT FEELS BORED! ok la..i'm not saying my friends bored me....just tat...one whole day...from 1.30pm to 7pm, it feels like same shit different toiletbowl. But i suppose this is a real bad time i have to go thru due to my own stupidity. Wat the heck...i still enjoy going out nevertheless. at least i can smoke all i want...my friend chow curly kinda amazed with the amount of dragon i can chase...think i puff 15-16 stick today within 6 hrs. kewl~ i feel like a chimney, though. Bought a Luo Han home for mah mum to keep...she kinda keep thinking abt buying one for a few weeks but she just cant bear to buy a fish which cost 10 bux...got a small one for her though...2 bux niah but its enuff....she'd kill me if i buy her a 10 bux fish....she kinda touched by wat i did, and offer me chilli crab in return~weeeee~so thats my dinner tonite, a few crabs and buns..and i already feel bloated....must be those bunsstart to swell up in my stomach....still got durians but i think i cant eat anymore....maybe eat if for lunch tomorrow...or rather, fruits after lunch..hehe....ok...getting kinda lengthy...perhaps i shall write somemore when i habe the mood.......ciaos.

gooooooooooooooooooddd morninggggggggggggggggggggg u suckers reading this~~~~~ heh...well, i had an early bath this morning cos I AM GOING OUT LATER~!!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~ u see...my friend is bringing me out for a joyride down to bedok...i dont always get to go out so when i do get the chance...i get so excited~ weeeeeeee~~~~~ why? becos i'm freaking in a wheelchair now and i cant fugging get to anywhere i want like i use to get it? nevermind...i bet those who are reading this dont have a clue wat the fuck happen to me.....u see, i'm a natural born racer so obviously i need to get my license to be able to race in singapore...so there i go....got my riding license on the 29th of nov last yr and i started racing all across the island....yeah man..those were the best days of my life....imagine all those ah beng kanna chiet by me~ wahahahahaha....so there's this nite, which was 3rd of march this yr, i went makan with my friend at chomp chomp...u know? that market down at serangoon garden...and on our way back...i met an accident just below the flyover down at ang mo kio ave 1...this fucking taxi..turn without giving way to me..whom was travelling in the opp direction of that dreaded cheebye taxi....so this taxi hit me straight into mah thigh and broke that fucking bone....and now i'm still in this fucking wheelchair cos though i did an op already, the bone doesnt seems to grow back...and all i have inside is this piece of metal rod the length of my entire thigh bone. The doc's afraid that if i insist to try to walk, this metal rod might give way and i'll break my bone once again....sux rite? so i gotta listen to him cos i dont wanna fucking break my bone for nothing again...so my next review is on the end of aug....and if this time it's not growing again, the doc suggest i go for another op to remove part of my hip bone and fill up the gap in my thigh....sounds scary rite? its call bone grafting or something like that...so meanwhile i must sit on this dreaded rolls royce of mine and its damn troublesome! so guys...pls....next time u ever see someone on wheelchair...try to give way to them....dont fucking go meddle with them cos its much much more inconvenient than u can ever imagine....hmm....maYBE i continue this someother time...time to sian some charboh in irc...kewl~ fug those bitch...some of them tot they are so fugging chio they refuse to tok to u...but its ok...cos i'm the man~ i dont give a damn whether u chio or u got big boobs...u can just kiss my fugging ass and i will hallelujah to u....later folks...

now its time of the day again...i need to go sleep for the sake of sleeping and not becos i am tired.....becos my folks were kinda against me staying up late though next day i can sleep all i want....just that they think that nite time are meant for sleeping....luckily i'm not working as some bartender or some bouncer...else i sure drive them to their grave.....i guess durians digest quite fast one ritE? i poo-ed just now and its quite uncommon i poo at nite...i guess the durian i ate awhile ago got digested and have been flush down to the pacific ocean already....must be....else i wouldnt have had the "enemies at the gate" feeling...next time no durians for me before meals...ok....time to play fillial son...i gotta go pls my folks leow...shall continue tomorrow...

weeeeeeee~ so this izzit? hmm....never quite bright in all these computer lingual stuff....anyway i just had my dinner..which consist of a durian, a bowl of rice and my fav gong bao ji ding~ you must be wondering who the hell eat rice with durian rite? nah....i didnt take the durian as part of the dish...just tat i was having this durian my dad bought home...kinda soggy already so i decides to finish it...then when i'm done with it, the gong bao ji ding suddenly become too appealing to me. So i think...."wat the heck!" and i scoop a bowl of rice and start having my din with only tat plate of spicy dice chicken. now i'm kinda having a stomach upset...darn... shouldnt have eaten that stupid duriaN...this el nino shit coming back again si boh? why do fucking hot one? cb...really cannot stand this kinda fucked up weather....just bath only and i'm sweating again...defeats the purpose of bathing also....if the weather continues to be this fuck up, i swear to god i aint gonna bath no more....quite depressing one leh....imagine i am stuck at home...cant do anything but staring at this fucking monitor...and still i must go thru this torment....fuck up rite? nevermind..i'll try to find someone to bring me out sometime so i can smoke all i want...just like wat is use to be...ah..so shiok...

oi i helped u with the comment thing already, anyway i changed the template too cause there's some error with the previous one. poop more for me to read ah, ok bye bye. - vi

testing yet again....i'm getting quite frustrated already...but for vivi...i'll do anything~

once again i'm told to do something which my beloved vivi wants me to do so that she can shit in here...kewl....i just love the way she shit....the crap tat coming out from her beautiful pi yan....yums~

now i think i'm turning a guinea pig...vivi keep asking me do this and that and i dunno wat am i doing that....but i'll still do it becos i love her....she's trying to kill my boredom by asking me do things which i got no idea on....she's such a nice girl...i think...i will love her for a million years....muacks vivi~

ok...i've change my template cos my friend vivi say it's too charboh...heck! i am a charboh wat....or i think i'm becoming one... i like cute stuff more and more and i stop wanking now....i hate my chichi and i wish it could turn into a meimei...and everyday i hope that my menses will come so i can turn into a total woman~ weeeee~~~ lemme go check if my menses is coming today now...brb...

this is my first blog watever that mean.....my friend vivi keep bugging me to start one so she can shit inside my blog...tats kewl eh? i say she rocks~ but i still dunno how this thing work but i guess i'll try to figure it out later on...now need to go empty my bowel first cos its all filled up...lemme see if i can displace the water in the toiletbowl with my pee..catcha later u freaks!